I have recently started dating a man who is bi-polar. He admitted to me that he suffers from the condition. Currently he self medicated himself with alcohol. He told me he didn't like how the medication made him feel. Can be very critical of me almost constantly lately. He says that it runs in his family. He had crazy ideas one week to the next. I tried to help him get a job and he wouldn't return my calls because he was in a mood. I got upset and yelled. He said I told you I get this way. Not sure if I should stay or go. Care for him but he just seems so self centered. At first I thought it was a 'only child thing' but upon talking to people they said it was the bi-polar. Am I crazy or can you love someone with bi-polar or should I tell him we should just be friends.
BigMaMa
BigMaMa
I have read your experiences above, and it struck me hard. I am a bipolar person, I have never been diagnosed but my brother has been, and he is under medication. This is most probably a genetic medical problem. I have made a mess of my relationhsip. I am with a boy for 7 years, and it has been so hard, I fight with him every other day. I want his full attention, and I'm very jealous. He has dated a girl before meeting me, and ofcourse has had physically close as well. well, his past tortures me so much, it drives me crazy. I really can't control the wave of anger and hatred that hits me, and I lash at him, tell him abusive words and insults. yet, I love him. I have been running away from him all the time, and yet feels good when he comes again. But this can't go on. I want to be in a committed relationship and yet I try to run away from him. I am at a lost.
i'm so sorry for all you've gone through. it sounds like complete hell. you and your son deserve better and i hope you have found that since you posted. your story has helped me so much. i recently met a guy who has BP and i can totally see myself falling for him. such a great guy but i saw a depressed mood that scared the bajeezes outta me. and reading all these sites has made me see that it is quiet common for people suffering from this to drink heavily which makes things much worse. he drinks without caution and uses marijuana regularly and doesn't think either are a problem. i am scared for him but i can't get mixed up in his life. it's really sad because he is such an amazing guy, so talented, sweet and beautifully intelligent. i hope and pray he'll get help before it's too late. i also pray that you will move on and create a life for you and your little boy. may God bless you.
I have bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed 10 years ago. I had a relationship of 8 years end because he couldn't handle it. We aren't fools, though. We know we aren't the easiest people to live with. I've spent the past year of my life in a very difficult relationship engaged to a man that was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, just like me, about three weeks ago. Imagine what it must be like for us! The best advice I can give is to give her space. The things that go on in our heads are pretty complex and may or may not have anything to do with what you're assuming is going on. Try to communicate but don't pry. I think most of us have felt like a burden all of our lives so we keep things to ourselves...especially during a depressive period. I think we're all worth it but, I'm not going to lie and tell you that the destruction always ends with us. It takes a really strong person to endure being with someone with bipolar disorder. If you really love her, be sure you're strong enough to do her justice. Read all you can about it. Kay Redfield Jamison has written some books that are great. She's is afflicted. There's also a newer book out called Detour that my fiance and I thought was phenomenal. We don't exactly think the way the average person does so learning about our thought processes might help you a lot.
just show ur loved one that u care and everything will be ok and show them how much u care for them, i have a bipolar gf and we are completely inlove. if ur loved one happens to get nasty with u just stand back and let them do their thing and tell them everything is ok, and just hold them after and keep telln them everything is ok
And I thought that I was the lone ranger. Thing is, I have had a few serious relationships with bipolar women. The girls I meet that are, may I say, more level haven't interested me as much in the past. Something about manic flirting and sex that really turns me on! But after drugs, lies, cheating, breaking it off, finding a way to blame me, and then acting like none of that ever happened it is hard to trust. I still love the girl, and that leads me to my BIG question; if I subject myself to this relationship, am I showing healthy love and respect for myself? What does it say about me when I keep slipping back into a relationship that goes from euphoric to toxic every month or two? Lastly, is PMS a typical cause for serious depression in many a bipolar woman?
Wow, thank you all for your comments...my girlfriend, well for the time being EX girlfriend, who i knew was bipolar was doing some strange things all along and had me convinced that i was doing them to her. Even NOW i believe them after reading this...but the more i think about it, and read these comments, the more i realize that what she does to me is more or less exactly the same things that are being described here, literally word for word. I feel much less alone now, i really love her but feel rejected because of the things she does. I don't even need to tell you what she does to me because its already been said, but it is very difficult.
Thanks again
Thanks again
I am realy glad that I found this forum. I had a ''relationship'' whit a BP ''candidate'' chick, and most of the stuff that you guys are saying is amazingly similar with my situation. She, my ''ex'', is a really smart and pretty girl. And I fell in love with her. But her moods where extremly confusing and sometimes I felt that I have lost the touch of reality. I had no ideea ''who'' she will be on our next date. A sober and nice lady, a child wanting to fool around, or a ewil b***h....
Altough some friends warned me about her...different way of being, I had the courage to stick with her. We begun dating, but of course meanwile she had dated her ''ex'' too. One day she said that I am her chosen one, forewer, presenting me to her parents, but the second day she had no problem to cheat on me. And like nothing ever happened the next day she ask for a second chanche. Wich, for beeing so stoopid I have given to her a few times. But she had no remorse at all to breack againd the chanche given. I felt realy screwed up and confused to be loved to the extreme one week, and on the other to be ignored completely. She sometimes partyed and fooled around with other guys, in secret without having any remorse to hide all this from me. Whe brock up in one year more than 15 times. And she always returned, in the manic phase, with a huge sexual appetite, telling me that she loves me, misses me, and sh*t. Whe had in those periods amazing sex life. And the stuff with that i have the biggest penis that she ever have seen. I heard that also. She was a liar to the extreme, liyng even herself sometimes. She lied herself to be a virgin (she vas not down there...), altough she made oral sex, and all kind of thing before on all her boyfriends. I was the first to convince her to do it in ''normal'' way too. In the depressing phase she was hurting absolutely everybody close to her, friends, parents, coleauges. Having a low mood, abusing emotionally, manipulating, and complaining that she is so extremly lonely, and nobody understands her. It is, as many of you guys said here, something for the TOUGH HEARTHED
I realy loved her on one point, and tryed to understand her, becouse she came from an extremely abusive childhood. And when she was in her normal state, I repeat this, she vas a extremly pleasant and nice girl. But even so.. We should love more ourself, altough it sounds selfish. In stead of having such a extremly poisoning relationship, and ruining our self esteem and emotional health
And to end the story, she ''left'' me a few months ago...altough she dated that somebody else in paralel with me for a wile before that. But the story did not end here, she keept calling me for sex becouse her actual boyfriend is nothing compared to me in this area., asking me to remain close friends, that she dont want to loose me..and c**p...And that she still loves me in the inside, and she hopes that in the future will be togheter again. That she cuts herself becouse the actual guy cheats on her...All this sh*t being said after she left me...
I would realy have no more future strenght for this kind of c**p, and I stoped any kind of contact with her. It realy dont worth it, and it was stoopid from my side to go so far. I should have ended myself all long time ago. And imagine to have a mariage, children and to have to spend a lifetime like this....It would ruin the guy next to her mentally...and not only...
Altough some friends warned me about her...different way of being, I had the courage to stick with her. We begun dating, but of course meanwile she had dated her ''ex'' too. One day she said that I am her chosen one, forewer, presenting me to her parents, but the second day she had no problem to cheat on me. And like nothing ever happened the next day she ask for a second chanche. Wich, for beeing so stoopid I have given to her a few times. But she had no remorse at all to breack againd the chanche given. I felt realy screwed up and confused to be loved to the extreme one week, and on the other to be ignored completely. She sometimes partyed and fooled around with other guys, in secret without having any remorse to hide all this from me. Whe brock up in one year more than 15 times. And she always returned, in the manic phase, with a huge sexual appetite, telling me that she loves me, misses me, and sh*t. Whe had in those periods amazing sex life. And the stuff with that i have the biggest penis that she ever have seen. I heard that also. She was a liar to the extreme, liyng even herself sometimes. She lied herself to be a virgin (she vas not down there...), altough she made oral sex, and all kind of thing before on all her boyfriends. I was the first to convince her to do it in ''normal'' way too. In the depressing phase she was hurting absolutely everybody close to her, friends, parents, coleauges. Having a low mood, abusing emotionally, manipulating, and complaining that she is so extremly lonely, and nobody understands her. It is, as many of you guys said here, something for the TOUGH HEARTHED
I realy loved her on one point, and tryed to understand her, becouse she came from an extremely abusive childhood. And when she was in her normal state, I repeat this, she vas a extremly pleasant and nice girl. But even so.. We should love more ourself, altough it sounds selfish. In stead of having such a extremly poisoning relationship, and ruining our self esteem and emotional health
And to end the story, she ''left'' me a few months ago...altough she dated that somebody else in paralel with me for a wile before that. But the story did not end here, she keept calling me for sex becouse her actual boyfriend is nothing compared to me in this area., asking me to remain close friends, that she dont want to loose me..and c**p...And that she still loves me in the inside, and she hopes that in the future will be togheter again. That she cuts herself becouse the actual guy cheats on her...All this sh*t being said after she left me...
I would realy have no more future strenght for this kind of c**p, and I stoped any kind of contact with her. It realy dont worth it, and it was stoopid from my side to go so far. I should have ended myself all long time ago. And imagine to have a mariage, children and to have to spend a lifetime like this....It would ruin the guy next to her mentally...and not only...
Wow! I really thought I was alone with my bipolar girlfriend. The biggest difference with my girlfriend is that she is in complete denial that she is BP. Every single sign is there but its like she is completly unaware of her behavior. She doesnt even know what being bipolar truley is. With her, its definantly been an unpredictable roller coaster ride. Her episodes are very manic. She gets very angry over something and many times it has nothing to do with me but when she gets into her manic mode she takes it out on everyone in her path. I am very good to her to the point that she really has nothing to even complain about when she is mad. She often makes stuff up that is completely false. Alot of times its verbally abusive things like saying that I don't really love her when its so obvious that I do. She will began to make stuff up in her head about me to the point that it seems delusional which is yet another sign of her BP. She lies and believes her own lies. She is very irratable and has nothing good to say. I love her so much but when she gets like this its a living hell. She is very wreckless when she drinks during a manic episode. She gets very flirty. In fact, I actually walked in on her with her arms around some guy that had nothing to offer. The dude was ugly yet she was drunk and manic so she was all about him. I showed up to make sure she was OK after calling her cell. I walked into the bar to see the two of them with their arms around each other and her leaning up and kissing him on the check. It wasn't innocent by any means. I walked up to her and she saw me and could barley stand up. She then started laughing. Yeah, my heart was ripped to a thousand pieces and shes laughing. I should have left but stupid me was worried that she would try driving home and sure enough I had to get her keys off of her as she was trying to leave. She then ran down the road as her sister tried to talk to her to calm her down. After we caught up to her running down a busy road, we had to force her into the car. She started screaming for a cigarette and kicking my seats. Then she decided that she wanted to kill herself and jump out of my car rolling down my window and hanging halfway out of it as I was driving 55mph. Yeah that was a horrible night. It was the worst of several bad experiences Ive had with her.
What sucks about being with someone that is bipolar is that its US that gets hurt.
Shes not the one getting hurt in the relationship all the time, I am.
She doesnt have to worry about sh*t, I DO.
She gets to trust, I DONT.
She gets babysat when we go out Im the baby sitter.
She gets a good lover who is ALWAYS good to her, I get either A REALLY GOOD LOVER or REALLY REALLY BAD STRANGER.
Yeah Im PISSED. Its NOT FAIR. What sad is that I cant even talk to her about her behavior. When I bring it up, she either doesn't want to hear it or doesn't even remember what she did. Like the week she broke up and got back together with me 4 TIMES IN 1 WEEK but to her its all a blur at best.
The flip side is that she is sooo sweet and amazing when her manic side is gone. She is a completely different person. Its the person I fell in love with. Right now, she is that person but who knows what tommorow might bring. Hell, who knows what the next hour might bring. Most of our 6 month relationship has been amazingly good but up until last week, the last 6 weeks were a nightmare. She was getting worse and the episodes were getting more and more frequent. She really began to freak me out. It's like she's two completely different people. When she's manic she talks way different, her voice is different, her body language is different, and the look in her eyes is freaky. It's like she has split personalities or an evil twin(which sometimes I wish that was actually the case. It would mean that the girl I love is always the girl I love) I don't know what to do because things are great right now and i'm going to make the most of them but I know that any day now she will snap and this time I know there will be no more trying to make it work with her. I don't want to lose the girl that I love. I love her way too much but what am I to do especially being that she's not even accepting her illness let alone getting treatment.
SO IF ANYONE HAS ANY SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHAT I CAN DO TO GET MY GIRLFRIEND TO UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS BIPOLAR, PLEASE DON'T HESISTATE TO LET ME KNOW. I love her so much and want to see her get help and live a better life for her and her kids.
What sucks about being with someone that is bipolar is that its US that gets hurt.
Shes not the one getting hurt in the relationship all the time, I am.
She doesnt have to worry about sh*t, I DO.
She gets to trust, I DONT.
She gets babysat when we go out Im the baby sitter.
She gets a good lover who is ALWAYS good to her, I get either A REALLY GOOD LOVER or REALLY REALLY BAD STRANGER.
Yeah Im PISSED. Its NOT FAIR. What sad is that I cant even talk to her about her behavior. When I bring it up, she either doesn't want to hear it or doesn't even remember what she did. Like the week she broke up and got back together with me 4 TIMES IN 1 WEEK but to her its all a blur at best.
The flip side is that she is sooo sweet and amazing when her manic side is gone. She is a completely different person. Its the person I fell in love with. Right now, she is that person but who knows what tommorow might bring. Hell, who knows what the next hour might bring. Most of our 6 month relationship has been amazingly good but up until last week, the last 6 weeks were a nightmare. She was getting worse and the episodes were getting more and more frequent. She really began to freak me out. It's like she's two completely different people. When she's manic she talks way different, her voice is different, her body language is different, and the look in her eyes is freaky. It's like she has split personalities or an evil twin(which sometimes I wish that was actually the case. It would mean that the girl I love is always the girl I love) I don't know what to do because things are great right now and i'm going to make the most of them but I know that any day now she will snap and this time I know there will be no more trying to make it work with her. I don't want to lose the girl that I love. I love her way too much but what am I to do especially being that she's not even accepting her illness let alone getting treatment.
SO IF ANYONE HAS ANY SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHAT I CAN DO TO GET MY GIRLFRIEND TO UNDERSTAND THAT SHE IS BIPOLAR, PLEASE DON'T HESISTATE TO LET ME KNOW. I love her so much and want to see her get help and live a better life for her and her kids.
It feels good to find this forum as I feel better when I'm able to talk to others dealing with with the same things I am. Dealing with a bipoloar gf is no easy task. I myself have been with mine for 6.5 years and it has been a rough ride. When we first met, I was oblivious to it. She did tell me she was on meds, but I liked her enough to give it a shot. The first year of our relationship was horrible. She was manic a lot, tried to commit suicide twice, was baker acted for a week and made me feel like I was the reason for all of it. During our second year, things got better but she'd still fly off the handle for little things and of course I was to blame.
We've broken up 3 times. Each time was her decision and it was due to her wanting to regain her independance. She soon realized that with her condition, not a lot of people will put up with her, so she'd come crawling back to me being very loving and apologetic. I'm so in love with this girl that I always took her back. Most recently, I made a few financial mistakes and with her being in between jobs all the time it became very frustrating to have to not only take care of all the bills, but deal with her anger when I'd forget to make a payment, or be short for a bill. I feel very used from time to time and her sensitivity to situtations create even bigger problems. Instead of understanding that mistakes will happen and two people that love each other will get through them, she constantly blames me for everything every chance she gets. On top of that little mistakes from previous years are always brought up and thrown in my face. So an argument today, becomes an argument about 4 years ago and it just escalates from there.
I have thought of throwing in the towel many many times, but my heart and patience simply won't. I love her too much and have put too much of myself into understanding who she is and I'm willing to deal with it. When everything is fine, she is the most amazing person and loves me more than anything on the face of the earth, but we all know that life isn't perfect and when things are tough, she makes them tougher. She'll take things I say out of context and turn them into arguments, she'll put all responsibility on me so that if and when something goes wrong she can just get angry at me because it's my fault. It's very hard dealing with it on a daily basis. We've lived together for over 6 years and while I would love to marry her, she's got it so etched in her head that I'm the cause of her grief that she doesn't even care if we get married anymore. I guarantee that will change as soon as things get better, but at the moment things between us aren't that great.
She's gotten so down on me that she's stopped being affectionate and for the past month and a half it's been very trying. She's gone as far as to hiding from me when she gets dressed, stopped saying I love you and gets angry for every little thing. She's apologized and said that she just needs time to get over my mistakes because no matter how big or small it reminds her of something from years ago. That's who she is, who I have learned to deal with and who I will continue to love. It's tough dealing with it, but like it's been stated before, you must be willing to understand them, deal with them and love them no matter what. At the end of the day they really do love you and don't mean to be so angry, but it is very tough when you make a mistake, becuase to them a mistake, no matter how small can be the end of the world.
We've broken up 3 times. Each time was her decision and it was due to her wanting to regain her independance. She soon realized that with her condition, not a lot of people will put up with her, so she'd come crawling back to me being very loving and apologetic. I'm so in love with this girl that I always took her back. Most recently, I made a few financial mistakes and with her being in between jobs all the time it became very frustrating to have to not only take care of all the bills, but deal with her anger when I'd forget to make a payment, or be short for a bill. I feel very used from time to time and her sensitivity to situtations create even bigger problems. Instead of understanding that mistakes will happen and two people that love each other will get through them, she constantly blames me for everything every chance she gets. On top of that little mistakes from previous years are always brought up and thrown in my face. So an argument today, becomes an argument about 4 years ago and it just escalates from there.
I have thought of throwing in the towel many many times, but my heart and patience simply won't. I love her too much and have put too much of myself into understanding who she is and I'm willing to deal with it. When everything is fine, she is the most amazing person and loves me more than anything on the face of the earth, but we all know that life isn't perfect and when things are tough, she makes them tougher. She'll take things I say out of context and turn them into arguments, she'll put all responsibility on me so that if and when something goes wrong she can just get angry at me because it's my fault. It's very hard dealing with it on a daily basis. We've lived together for over 6 years and while I would love to marry her, she's got it so etched in her head that I'm the cause of her grief that she doesn't even care if we get married anymore. I guarantee that will change as soon as things get better, but at the moment things between us aren't that great.
She's gotten so down on me that she's stopped being affectionate and for the past month and a half it's been very trying. She's gone as far as to hiding from me when she gets dressed, stopped saying I love you and gets angry for every little thing. She's apologized and said that she just needs time to get over my mistakes because no matter how big or small it reminds her of something from years ago. That's who she is, who I have learned to deal with and who I will continue to love. It's tough dealing with it, but like it's been stated before, you must be willing to understand them, deal with them and love them no matter what. At the end of the day they really do love you and don't mean to be so angry, but it is very tough when you make a mistake, becuase to them a mistake, no matter how small can be the end of the world.
Like the other said it's really great to read all these experiences and see that you are not alone and they have given me the strength I need to keep away from my girlfriend who is bipolar (sectioned many times) and refuses to take her meds.
Obviously, like anything else, it all depends on the individual how badly a bipolar person can hurt you, act etc but I want to tell my story to show others just how extreme and heartbreaking the whole thing can get.
My girlfriend (well, ex, thank god) would habitually abuse me in a multitude of ways both emotional and physical. She would hit me, she would bring up her exs and say they were better than me (all the frickin time), she would bring up problems i have had with my parents in my childhood and blame me for them, she would claim that having sex with me was disgusting for her and then later the same day, tell me I was fantastic, she loves the sex and wanted to move in with me.
Seperate to our relationship, she would make up things that had happened to her, claiming to have been pregnant 22 different times and also while we were togther, pregnant with animals, abused by colleagues, say people would break into her house and abuse her, talk to people who were no where around for hours on end, be abusive towards her family.
She would spend hours and hours on dating websites, she eventually got sacked from her job and is now penniless.
Bipolar people, at the worst, without meds, do not understand they have any problem, anything and eveything is your fault, they will take your fears and use them against you and believe me, no holds are barred, she was evil. Worse than all this they will insult your family, isolate you from them and your friends and drag down your performance at work.
By the end she had absolutely no interest in my job and friends and just talked about herself and imaginary issues 24/7.
Of course, it was not always this way, when I met her she was probably Manic if I can see now her trends, and what I fell in love with was an intelligent, highly sexual and complimentary person who seemed exciting. Well to repeat the old mantra, if it seems to good to be true... it probably is.
To compound all this, Bipolar, esp if untreated just gets worse and worse, episodes become more frequent etc.
You very rarely see a forum post that says, "hey, my partner has bipolar and we have a great relationship". People with bipolar who lack the wherewithall to understand their problem are incapable of giving you love. What you end up doing is hanging around waiting for that girl you liked to come back.
Are all their ex's refusing to talk to them and out of contact? Yeh, there's a reason for this! And you're probably the next one.
The kindest thing you can do is not enable them by having a relationship with them, but tell them in no uncertain terms that you matter, your happiness matters, their actions and reactions are ridiculous and they must face their problem head on. You may want to stick around to help them, that's your call.
Bipolar is one of the worlds greatest evils, I feel so terrible for those with the condition, the understanding of it is low, the drugs for it make them sick and/or fat, mental health professionals do not follow up their cases. FYI, after my gfs sectionings it is not compulsary she comes back for checkups.
I know my words seem very anti-bipolar and I've suffered like nobodies business, I totally lost all self respect as day by day I was worn down by "i love my ex's, don't come over, I love you, come over". I don't think bipolar people have the first idea how hard it is to love them, they appear, my ex and many respondants, only to see how much BP hurts them, but then, that's the nature of the beast, they can be incredibly selfish and those with a kind heart are drawn towards problem cases... that is OUR cross to bare.
If you can choose to be with a BP, you have my respect but anyone who wants a life, a wife and kids should about face right now and run. Sorry BP people, you wont like it, but I'm talking to these poor blighters who get caught up with a BP who wont take their meds.
Obviously, like anything else, it all depends on the individual how badly a bipolar person can hurt you, act etc but I want to tell my story to show others just how extreme and heartbreaking the whole thing can get.
My girlfriend (well, ex, thank god) would habitually abuse me in a multitude of ways both emotional and physical. She would hit me, she would bring up her exs and say they were better than me (all the frickin time), she would bring up problems i have had with my parents in my childhood and blame me for them, she would claim that having sex with me was disgusting for her and then later the same day, tell me I was fantastic, she loves the sex and wanted to move in with me.
Seperate to our relationship, she would make up things that had happened to her, claiming to have been pregnant 22 different times and also while we were togther, pregnant with animals, abused by colleagues, say people would break into her house and abuse her, talk to people who were no where around for hours on end, be abusive towards her family.
She would spend hours and hours on dating websites, she eventually got sacked from her job and is now penniless.
Bipolar people, at the worst, without meds, do not understand they have any problem, anything and eveything is your fault, they will take your fears and use them against you and believe me, no holds are barred, she was evil. Worse than all this they will insult your family, isolate you from them and your friends and drag down your performance at work.
By the end she had absolutely no interest in my job and friends and just talked about herself and imaginary issues 24/7.
Of course, it was not always this way, when I met her she was probably Manic if I can see now her trends, and what I fell in love with was an intelligent, highly sexual and complimentary person who seemed exciting. Well to repeat the old mantra, if it seems to good to be true... it probably is.
To compound all this, Bipolar, esp if untreated just gets worse and worse, episodes become more frequent etc.
You very rarely see a forum post that says, "hey, my partner has bipolar and we have a great relationship". People with bipolar who lack the wherewithall to understand their problem are incapable of giving you love. What you end up doing is hanging around waiting for that girl you liked to come back.
Are all their ex's refusing to talk to them and out of contact? Yeh, there's a reason for this! And you're probably the next one.
The kindest thing you can do is not enable them by having a relationship with them, but tell them in no uncertain terms that you matter, your happiness matters, their actions and reactions are ridiculous and they must face their problem head on. You may want to stick around to help them, that's your call.
Bipolar is one of the worlds greatest evils, I feel so terrible for those with the condition, the understanding of it is low, the drugs for it make them sick and/or fat, mental health professionals do not follow up their cases. FYI, after my gfs sectionings it is not compulsary she comes back for checkups.
I know my words seem very anti-bipolar and I've suffered like nobodies business, I totally lost all self respect as day by day I was worn down by "i love my ex's, don't come over, I love you, come over". I don't think bipolar people have the first idea how hard it is to love them, they appear, my ex and many respondants, only to see how much BP hurts them, but then, that's the nature of the beast, they can be incredibly selfish and those with a kind heart are drawn towards problem cases... that is OUR cross to bare.
If you can choose to be with a BP, you have my respect but anyone who wants a life, a wife and kids should about face right now and run. Sorry BP people, you wont like it, but I'm talking to these poor blighters who get caught up with a BP who wont take their meds.
Firstly, just something funny I thought I might add; Can you imagine how angry and manic our girlfriends would get if they found out we were posting about them on here? They would kill us! Lol, My girlfriend, who has said and done a countless amount of things to hurt me, would probably break up with me saying that none of the stuff is true about her, that I'm horrible person, and how dare I write about her on here (even though all of this is entirely anonymous). But what is great about posting these things is that we never get to vent our frustrations about what these BP women do to us especially with others who can completely relate to what we are going through. It's amazing that the more I read and the more I've had a chance to research bipolar the more I realize that she doesn't say and do these awful things to me because there's anything wrong with me or the things she does is because of anything I'm doing to her (even though she says Im a mean person but can't tell me how...lol).
But secondly and what I think is very important, I feel like there needs to be a support group or a web site strictly for victims/loved ones of bipolar people. There are 5.7 million American adults living with bipolar therefore there are millions of people like us who love them. We are "The Forgotten Ones". There is medication, programs, support groups, and government funding for bipolar people. While they are suffering from a disease we are the ones that often have to deal with:
- Their behavior its consequences
- Abuse - they can be very verbally abusive and some can be very physically abusive
- Mania
- getting accused of things that we don't do
- Always being the blame for everything even though we can treat them perfectly
- Promiscuity - its said that nearly 60% of bipolar people have cheated MULTIPLE times on their lover/spouses
- Financial recklessness - they can go on enormous spending sprees or gamble
- Paranoia - they think everyone has something against them
- Negativity - many of bipolar people are extremely negative all the time with very little good to say about anyone or anything
- Deceptiveness - often BP's are very deceptive by second nature. The manipulate others and deceive themselves, knowingly and unknowingly, on a daily basis by telling themselves by creating a reality that justifies their irrational and wicked behavior
-etc, etc, etc – I’m sure you get the point
There needs to be some type of group that gives us the tools we need to help ourselves deal with the pain that our loved ones with bp cause us. We need people whom can be there to understand what we are going through, give us advice, and other therapy that is needed, and educate us further on their condition and give us coping skills.
Anyone have any ideas?? Let us hear what you suggest or think. We don't have to go at this alone because we truly aren't alone. There are over two million people in the United States who are living with bipolar disorder which means there are millions of people who are live with, love, and or know them. We are them. We are what I call "The Forgotten Ones"
But secondly and what I think is very important, I feel like there needs to be a support group or a web site strictly for victims/loved ones of bipolar people. There are 5.7 million American adults living with bipolar therefore there are millions of people like us who love them. We are "The Forgotten Ones". There is medication, programs, support groups, and government funding for bipolar people. While they are suffering from a disease we are the ones that often have to deal with:
- Their behavior its consequences
- Abuse - they can be very verbally abusive and some can be very physically abusive
- Mania
- getting accused of things that we don't do
- Always being the blame for everything even though we can treat them perfectly
- Promiscuity - its said that nearly 60% of bipolar people have cheated MULTIPLE times on their lover/spouses
- Financial recklessness - they can go on enormous spending sprees or gamble
- Paranoia - they think everyone has something against them
- Negativity - many of bipolar people are extremely negative all the time with very little good to say about anyone or anything
- Deceptiveness - often BP's are very deceptive by second nature. The manipulate others and deceive themselves, knowingly and unknowingly, on a daily basis by telling themselves by creating a reality that justifies their irrational and wicked behavior
-etc, etc, etc – I’m sure you get the point
There needs to be some type of group that gives us the tools we need to help ourselves deal with the pain that our loved ones with bp cause us. We need people whom can be there to understand what we are going through, give us advice, and other therapy that is needed, and educate us further on their condition and give us coping skills.
Anyone have any ideas?? Let us hear what you suggest or think. We don't have to go at this alone because we truly aren't alone. There are over two million people in the United States who are living with bipolar disorder which means there are millions of people who are live with, love, and or know them. We are them. We are what I call "The Forgotten Ones"
This is a great thread and I wanted to contribute my perspective.
I'm diagnosed with slow-cycling BiPolar. Every few years I am apt to have a problem with mania, like in super-high-stress times, but basically with low doses of lithium salts I'm more-or-less free of the disaster that mania causes - hopefully forever. Lithium and treatment, generally, also helps me tremendously with occasional but deep depression. Personality-wise, I have overloads of the creativity typical in BP people, and this I cherish. And I don't think that my work done while manic is somehow special: this is just hubris or arrogance. However I must say that I can be very focused on my work (illustrator) and when grounded I learned to appreciate more steady processes of working.
In my illness's history, the worst was when I was drugged in a bar and went hay-wire. I could never imagine taking hard drugs, with my brain! Second worst was when I lived in New York and 9.11 happened. After 9/11 I was totally devestated and cyclling a lot, and I realized that indeed New York will make you crazy, it's not JUST in my head lol. I mean go and watch a few thousand people die and report back to me about how it felt.
I'm pretty stable now, and just careful: Unlike a lot of bipolar people I can have a drink or a small amount of a joint and not fall apart. However I am super careful about this type of thing and also SLEEP - I am very regular. Not very exciting, mind you, like my college years, but life is much more satisfying.
That all said, I would say that I am really the more stable partner in emotional ways, even if my career choices reflect my health needs and therefor are unconventional. I work at home, and keep the home-life together. This is a very peaceful existence, even if more modest than some others. Meanwhile, my partner is a PHD over achieving social butterfly, so I provide the backdrop to her hectic life: making sure there is fresh bread baked, things are clean, and bringing her things in the office if she needs it. I am an illustrator, so I am also constantly making cards for her friends etc, and they sometimes turn into commercial projects. Somehow she is supportive of my choices, and I hers. We're so different, but in our needs, complementary. I really enjoy, for example, her friends, and it's so great that they like me, too! In fact, they love how I support HER in her hectic career: it's almost like I get to have my high-powered career by proxy, which is a bit too honest... I'm talented in my own way but would never accomplish what she has, she can run MRI's and help lives and stuff, and that's serious stuff. I am jealous but not foolish.
I think that relationship skills and illness issues should be separated out as best they can, and one has to evaluate how that balance is supposed to work out. I would not blame my illness for my behavior, for example, and my partner keeps me accountable (not that she needs to, really) for myself - I don't want to be a sick mess, and neither does she. However we both appreciate my artist genius ;-) and all my creative, emotional availability and energy. She is very intellectual, and I am waaaaay better off loving her, than perhaps any other person I could imagine: I really don't know how it could be better, and yes, I pretty much think this most of the time.
I'm diagnosed with slow-cycling BiPolar. Every few years I am apt to have a problem with mania, like in super-high-stress times, but basically with low doses of lithium salts I'm more-or-less free of the disaster that mania causes - hopefully forever. Lithium and treatment, generally, also helps me tremendously with occasional but deep depression. Personality-wise, I have overloads of the creativity typical in BP people, and this I cherish. And I don't think that my work done while manic is somehow special: this is just hubris or arrogance. However I must say that I can be very focused on my work (illustrator) and when grounded I learned to appreciate more steady processes of working.
In my illness's history, the worst was when I was drugged in a bar and went hay-wire. I could never imagine taking hard drugs, with my brain! Second worst was when I lived in New York and 9.11 happened. After 9/11 I was totally devestated and cyclling a lot, and I realized that indeed New York will make you crazy, it's not JUST in my head lol. I mean go and watch a few thousand people die and report back to me about how it felt.
I'm pretty stable now, and just careful: Unlike a lot of bipolar people I can have a drink or a small amount of a joint and not fall apart. However I am super careful about this type of thing and also SLEEP - I am very regular. Not very exciting, mind you, like my college years, but life is much more satisfying.
That all said, I would say that I am really the more stable partner in emotional ways, even if my career choices reflect my health needs and therefor are unconventional. I work at home, and keep the home-life together. This is a very peaceful existence, even if more modest than some others. Meanwhile, my partner is a PHD over achieving social butterfly, so I provide the backdrop to her hectic life: making sure there is fresh bread baked, things are clean, and bringing her things in the office if she needs it. I am an illustrator, so I am also constantly making cards for her friends etc, and they sometimes turn into commercial projects. Somehow she is supportive of my choices, and I hers. We're so different, but in our needs, complementary. I really enjoy, for example, her friends, and it's so great that they like me, too! In fact, they love how I support HER in her hectic career: it's almost like I get to have my high-powered career by proxy, which is a bit too honest... I'm talented in my own way but would never accomplish what she has, she can run MRI's and help lives and stuff, and that's serious stuff. I am jealous but not foolish.
I think that relationship skills and illness issues should be separated out as best they can, and one has to evaluate how that balance is supposed to work out. I would not blame my illness for my behavior, for example, and my partner keeps me accountable (not that she needs to, really) for myself - I don't want to be a sick mess, and neither does she. However we both appreciate my artist genius ;-) and all my creative, emotional availability and energy. She is very intellectual, and I am waaaaay better off loving her, than perhaps any other person I could imagine: I really don't know how it could be better, and yes, I pretty much think this most of the time.
I have come to realize that people with Bipolar Disorder have a completely different way of thinking and feeling. My ex is bp and her whole way of thinking, even when she is stable, is sick. She is a shallow, selfish, heartless individual who hurts everyone in her life. We broke up 5 weeks ago after an 8 month relationship that was a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows. She would love me more then anything on this earth one minute then be a complete evil sinister emotionally abusive b***h the next. (pardon my French) When she was in her depressive state,I suspected her of cheating. I always gave her the benefit of the doubt. IF YOU SUSPECT A BP B***H IS CHEATING, SHE IS!!!! Statistics state that 68% of people who are bipolar will cheat mulitple times in their lives. Stay away from them, they are wicked people who need to be put on an island by themselves so they can destroy eachother.
well when i read all the topic about the people having bipolar disoder and the problem face by the second person who might be friend,boyfriend,girlfriend or a familymember.i really accept the problem faced by second person.
Well if we really love the person who have bipolar disoder.I think we most know what bipolar disoder is? symptoms? treatment and medication process too?
Well every body in this earth has drawn the dream on their mind when they were young. what they want to b? I can easy remeber today when i was young every person whom i use to meet use to ask me what i want to be? But i never repaly them i want to be the patience of any disease but in course of time if i had become the patience of any disease that wasn't my choice..likewise no body want to be the patience of bipolar disoder. how i see this problem is a accident in a life...completly unknown accident.....it wasn't their choice to be the patience of bipolar disoder !
I am not against of those people who have posted their feeling i really appricate your feeling and like it...but did we try to understand the feeling of those person (bipolar disoder).did we try to help them ?Some of might help them but many of us use to react differently.When a person cry we might tell them you are crazy insted of caring....when a person become angry we might have told them you are stupid....even we might have told i can't be together with you!! i can't be friend!!we might have told it's really annoying !! did we try to tell these thing if we hadn't told such thing i am sure we might have those thought on your mind....is that true.... ;-)
well friends i really respect to those person who had tired their best to understand and to care.If it won't works there might be other thing that you could do to cure the person.Every person in this world like to be prefect..every person want to stay healthy...Those person who have those kind of disease are trying to get help from other people's cooperation (love n care).If our small effort can help them why can't we help??? If they are happy on sharing their happiness and sarrow why can't we listen them??
If someone share sorrow we can just drop a smapthy of tears so that they can feel we are the one who care them..if they become angry and can't control themself why should we be angry?? can't we control ourself ?if we can't control what's the difference between them and us. :-D
I think there is nothing impossible unless we try.I relly appricate those people who have tried and want to strongly recommend to try once and i am sure you will see it sooner. The really happiness is how we can make happy other withour self..
I haven't don't any degree on this subject but i think i really understand the feeling of the human being as a relation of being human..
If somebody have those problem please feel free to write me.if have no words to say but i have two ear to listen ,two eyes to read and a good heart to feel you feeling.
bhim dhungana "Never give up your hope"
Well if we really love the person who have bipolar disoder.I think we most know what bipolar disoder is? symptoms? treatment and medication process too?
Well every body in this earth has drawn the dream on their mind when they were young. what they want to b? I can easy remeber today when i was young every person whom i use to meet use to ask me what i want to be? But i never repaly them i want to be the patience of any disease but in course of time if i had become the patience of any disease that wasn't my choice..likewise no body want to be the patience of bipolar disoder. how i see this problem is a accident in a life...completly unknown accident.....it wasn't their choice to be the patience of bipolar disoder !
I am not against of those people who have posted their feeling i really appricate your feeling and like it...but did we try to understand the feeling of those person (bipolar disoder).did we try to help them ?Some of might help them but many of us use to react differently.When a person cry we might tell them you are crazy insted of caring....when a person become angry we might have told them you are stupid....even we might have told i can't be together with you!! i can't be friend!!we might have told it's really annoying !! did we try to tell these thing if we hadn't told such thing i am sure we might have those thought on your mind....is that true.... ;-)
well friends i really respect to those person who had tired their best to understand and to care.If it won't works there might be other thing that you could do to cure the person.Every person in this world like to be prefect..every person want to stay healthy...Those person who have those kind of disease are trying to get help from other people's cooperation (love n care).If our small effort can help them why can't we help??? If they are happy on sharing their happiness and sarrow why can't we listen them??
If someone share sorrow we can just drop a smapthy of tears so that they can feel we are the one who care them..if they become angry and can't control themself why should we be angry?? can't we control ourself ?if we can't control what's the difference between them and us. :-D
I think there is nothing impossible unless we try.I relly appricate those people who have tried and want to strongly recommend to try once and i am sure you will see it sooner. The really happiness is how we can make happy other withour self..
I haven't don't any degree on this subject but i think i really understand the feeling of the human being as a relation of being human..
If somebody have those problem please feel free to write me.if have no words to say but i have two ear to listen ,two eyes to read and a good heart to feel you feeling.
bhim dhungana "Never give up your hope"