how to stay in love with a bipolar person

Dude your gf is full of sh*t! She lets her ex stay over and sleep on the couch? Dude she's lieing to you. Man up and dump her ass

I thought you were with me ben who are all these losers your speaking of I'm beautiful treated you so good and your mental you did all this bipolar sh*t to me you deserve this hope she screws you over good!

Hi everyone.

I recently had to walk away from a very very hard situation regarding my ex bipolar type 1 + BPD girlfriend. It's been 5 weeks now and I'm trying to be strong. She just got back with her abusive ex too! I could spend hours saying how much she (hated) him but anyone that knows will appreciate that I don't need say all what was said.

From the word go it was very intense, she (chased) me for about 7 weeks until I was so overwhelmed I gave in.. she was with her ex still at the time (the one she is back with now) which is why I always declined. I was in a full relationship with her for around 9 months. She made me feel special, I've always fancied you type of thing, I want your children, marriage etc. I saw a side to her which I fell in love with.. very happy, positive, sun was always shinning kinda girl, very very sexual ( obviously the hyper side )
I never knew what it was but my gut instincts wasn't let me trust her 100%
She told me her past with men was really bad.. so ok I said.. past is the past type of thing and leave it there.
About 3 months ago she changed.. keep saying I had no idea what I mean to her, she said she was terrified of losing me with high anxiety to go with it.. she said that I may believe (other) stories that I may hear about her from other people and her ex (who was always in our background trying to split us up) I said don't worry as you had already told me everything.. which looking back now none of her past needed to be mentioned but was.. by the way I was never totally sure if she was medicated.. she did lie and said she told me she had bipolar at the end of things.. but I know for sure that I'd remember a statement like that! Think she used an (over active thiriod) stunt to cover her bipolar.. maybe she felt ashamed by it I don't know, but she should of told me regardless.
Anyway things were going downhill.. she's be out drinking a lot, down the pub whenever possible.. and her friends weren't very nice people, always sleeping around etc. I always had a massive hunch that she was up to something but couldn't prove it.. always had her phone by her side.. everywhere she went it was with her, always on social media, but always had an answer for everything. Whist we started rowing a lot she always made me feel guilty.. sometimes I'd even apologize for nothing! Manipulation was all around me I could feel it.. but I was in love so didn't really take it in board properly.
I had an email from a very good friend who warned me that I was being played by her. Didn't know what to do but choose at the time to ignore it.. I did show her the message though and she wasn't happy. Things were getting worse and she kept saying I bet you leave me.. I bet you'll believe the stories that you may here.. etc.
I told her I didn't want to leave and wouldn't.
Anyway things got that bad I thought I was losing my mind.. I made a huge step to pull away, she was playing mind games saying like/ come get your belongings please.. we wasn't a waste of time but an experience, then when I turn up at the house she wants to talk. Spent 3 hours trying solve the madness and things were not adding up my end as she was very upset, almost (scatty like) I said let's have a break and let the dust settle and stay in touch.. she thought that we were (ok) and that il be staying at her house with her! No way! I needed my space and she absolutely hating it as I was going.
Things were still sh*t.. arguing over the same things.. going round in circles. 4 days after walking I spoke to my family for support, I was focused and had to call her and end it. Called her and first of she agreed that we (wouldn't work) I thought to myself that was to easy.... I'm looking at my phone and 20secs later she's called back literally spitting fire down the phone, not making any sense about anything. I said it was over and hung up. Going back to the email I received about (me being played) I had to call that person, curiousity was to great.. and I'm glad I did because I found out she had cheated 4 times, that I know of now.. the way the person described names, places, times, it was all so convincing.. and the person telling me all the information new way to much, had nothing to gain from and lies if so. plus it's a good friend I've always known.
Confronted her and of course she denied everything.. as expected..
She tried contact a few times and I'm gusseing she was losing the plot, going manic and depressed etc.
I hated her.. then 2 weeks after she called.. on a private number.. asking if I missed her and everything?!? Told her she should never of cheated on me and put the phone down. It was horrible.. I really was struggling. Trying to eat, work, sleep, very hard.
3 days later she calls again and said that she'd been doctors and they told her she may have bipolar disorder.. BS!! That doesn't happen overnight as I know! So I said to her call in 2 hours time as il be home from work. 2 hours pass and she calls.. start talking and she breaks down into tears, il always remember that the tears didn't seem real if you know what I mean.. she told me that 3 months ago she got (raped) at a house party that she (didn't want to be at) sniffing coke and drinking.. apparently her best friend (a big slag) left her by herself with a couple blokes.. why didn't she just leave and go?!? Walk out the door or something?!? Smell a rat.. she said she then took a 10ml Valium! And that's when the rape happened! Total rubbish! I said to her.. if your ( best friend ) leaves you somewhere like that surely you'd be very angry why they went, and to be fair you'd probably never be friends again?! This is where I caught her out...
I said if your friend left you at that house, then why were you out drinking with her a couple weekends ago...? their was silence, I said 'this is lies isn't it' she then said whatever and hung up!!! Busted. How evil can bipolar be? She threatened to kill herself to me and I've ran back to her.. she taunted me saying she was going to sort things out with ex!!! Emotional blackmail at its best.
Well it's been 5 weeks and I'm getting there I think, I met a friend of mine (girl) who I've known for 20 years, we had a photo and put it on Facebook.. because I'm single and that I can..
3 hours later 1.30am my phone is ringing.. it's her ex who she's back with. Didn't answer and in the morning he has text me.. bullying me demanding money, saying very personal things about me and her, obviously lies from her..
i wondered how she knew what I was up to via FB.. then it clicked! She'd been stalking my FB using her (mothers) FB account! So I deleted everyone related to her.. she now has no control over me.. I can't help but think that she'll try and worm her way in with me.. mind you she may not as she must know that I've found her out, plus I haven't left the door open (so to speak) so hopefully that's it.
Still very emotionally twisted by all that's happened but I'm staying no contact

I was with my girlfriend for 8 years, we were always together, never had any breakups, well maybe half a day, we mostly loved eachother very much but the last couple of years really took a tole on our lives with deaths in the family and other stresses like moving house, I was out of work for a while. She was told 2/3 months ago by her doctor its almost certain she has bipolar so she started taking meds and seeing a councellor, a month ago she broke up with me. She said we've grown apart although at first she didnt want me to move out and still sleep in the same bed. I started to get really stressed and tried talking about what she really wanted, then she flipped and said she doesnt love me and finds me annoying, I also said some terrible things but it was because i was so heartbroken, I had no choice but to leave, she was repulsed by me and acted like she hated me but the more time we spent apart the more she started to be kind and really feel bad about what had happened. We have a 4 year old daughter together and she is really finding it hard and misses me so much, I have her weekends and only see my ex when she drops and picked her up.We had a few more arguments over social media activities and i blocked her, she said she only has friends on there and no romance and will not for a long time, she also said she is not happy and finding the breakup extremley hard but I lost it and blamed her for dumping me. I stopped calling and texting my ex because it just made things worse, even just to ask about my daughter. I told my ex I still loved her and will be there for her if she needs me even though she doesnt right now in one of the last texts I sent, she ignored it. More time had pasted and she text me (this time with kisses) while on a short vacation with her folks and my daughter, (her folks really liked me and i think they thought I was the one for her, her dad kept asking when are you gonna marry her) She asked if I would like her to call me which was a bit out of the blue, I said yes but it got a bit late and she didnt want to wake up out girl, she sent me another text say if its ok to call me tomorrow. I gather its to talk but I'm not sure about what. We will see.

I met someone in January who told me she was bipolar so I started learning what to expect.

The hardest thing for me is that we also live on different continents & dont get too see each other very often. Sometimes she messages me constantly & when I do get to travel to see her we see each other daily, she is chatty & very happy. Then 'bam' she won't respond to my calls, messages or anything. She has told me that its not my fault & that she can't stand to even be with her family when the depression or anxiety kicks in. The last time I saw her was the day I had to leave to travel home but before that she had already become distant again & she hardly spoke to me that final day & hasn't spoke, messaged or acknowledged me at all since.

This happened before last time I left & I thought I could deal with it but its very hard being so far away & not knowing how she is or even if my attempts to contact her make things worse or if I should keep trying.

Any suggestions?

Hi..

Just need to ask, you were with your partner for 8 years, and not once you saw or felt that nothing was wrong? I.e. Mood swings, racing thoughts, distance, needy, I could go on.. not insulting your intelligence or anything, but are you sure that she has a disorder?

Kind regards.

Well. I've been reading all of these threads, and here is my story in a nutshell. Met her at work, instant connection, but have had issues daring at work so I didn't pursue her, in fact I pushed her away.

After she left that job, a few weeks later she hit me up on fb, wanted to go out.
We had a magical time. At the end of our date she asked where we were going and I said her place, she said no she wanted to come home with me.

And for a month and 6 days she lived at my house every night. Until last night.

At first sex was great. For the first week. And then she wouldn't want it for days at a time, making up excuses, telling me she was frustrated too. Ok, no pressure, but then she told me that she had sex with her exes 1 and 2 times a day. Exes that were toxic, drug dealers, dudes cheating with her on their gfs. Oh he'll no. And talk about sex with her? That's a no go she blows up on me
For an hour. And you guys in bp relationships know that's no fun at all.

I don't mind the crazy so much, it honestly adds excitement into my life, and every other day and sometimes for days on end the crazy would break through her medications and it would be rough.

Well, it all came to a head this weekend. She doesn't like surprises, but she can change any activity up when she feels like it. We were supposed to meet after work for dinner. She wanted to gamble at the casino. When we got there she said she felt smothered and wanted to gamble by herself.

I sighed, and said I was starving, and would wait in the car for her. I did, for an hour. Then o texted her I was leaving. Turned off my phone ( big mistake) for an hour because I was so frustrated.

Well, she had a panic attack when I left, and couldn't forgive me. I helped her pack her things, told her to gtfo, I'm not doing this any more. She wouldn't. And I do love her. Fine. We had the most open amazing sex,
What is wanted the whole time.

Next day, She is telling me how messed up it was to leave her there. We needed time apart, and she was going to visit her effed up guy friends that she's already told me are predatory and trying to b with her.

I'd met them b4, but after reading this thread last week d ont trust her. She didn't invite me,
And unlike myself these guys are d*****g.

So I made her move out. Back to where she came from. Tired of hearing how so.e people are better as friends, making her healthy dinners and lunches every day, doing and folding her laundry, and getting very little back in return. I love massage and have a massage table, but she only wants to receive it. She used to leave little love notes for me in the morning b4 work, that dried up weeks ago. Cooked for her every day, she only reciprocated once. Watched her sit on her phone constantly talkong to her guy friends and ignoring me, my fb posts, and any type of household responsibility, i do it all from shopping to buyong to cleaning. And so much more.

So now she is single again, ive blocked her on my phone and fb, but I see her blocked calls coming in twice a day. What does she want?
I don't know. Our relationship has no balance.

I see what everyone else has posted here. And I am going to try and run. I love her but not trying to give so much, and get so little in return.

I wish you all the best of luck. If we end up back together will post in this thread again.
Take care everyone and thanks for sharing.

Well I tried to break it off. I'm so scared of being in a bad relationship with a type 1 bipolar girl, if this thread isn't enough to scare someone off nothing is.

But this morning she tried calling, I could see it was showing her blocked call... right after my post above, and by afternoon she was all I could think about.

I texted to tell her I was sorry, and she texted me back telling me she was too.
I told her how jealous I was, and that I really felt awful for leaving her there like that.

I thought it was over, but instead she called me in the evening saying that she
* might * consider staying bf/gf if we both made some changes in the way we relate to each other. I wanted to say no, wanted to say that this whole thing is gonna be so toxic and to continue this is a bad idea...

But dammit I just adore her so much, and want to make it work.... A lot of our problems is me handling her bi polar wrong I think. Can't pressure her, she has enough pressure in her head with all the thinking that she does every minute.

And she's so mature about all of this, in ways that I'm not. Honestly this thread made me crazy by the the weekend, thinking about the horrors of rapid cycling moods, bipolar cheating and infidelity. To be honest I kind of trust her though maybe I shouldn't? She's
So beautiful that it's unreal and turns heads everywhere she goes...

And I think I went a little to crazy trying to let her go, when even though I k ow i should run, i really d ont want to. Would rather try to love her.

Well, we talked on the phone for two hours tonight, and she's considering staying with me, it's something I want, and had it, but due to my overreacting thinking of get cheated on and effed with ( this thread lol ) I made a lot of bad decisions
And pushed her away...

I guess we are meeting up Thursday to talk it out. Oof, wish I could go back to Friday and handle everything differently but it's to late. I was selfish and drove a wedge in my relationship, and now it's going to be difficult to repair the damage I've done...

Alone in bed last night and tonight for the first time in a month and totally did it to myself.

Anyone reading this thread, who like me is in a new bipolar relationship... d ont do what I did, d ont ruin things because of what you read here... very person is different, and I've been closer to her than. Anyone else I've dated in many years, and I effed it up instead of talki my it out. And she gets to be the mature one that is considering whether she still can trust me to be there for her after all of this...

This is my new therapy thread lol, it's an old mostly dead thread, but I think it has a lot of value all the same. Will be back to post when there's something new to ..

yes she has been diagnosed with Bipolar and yes I did have my suspicions but we have a 4 year old girl together so I'm not gonna say f**k I think she might have bipolar I'm out here. It was a slow process of her getting worse and worse but deep down she is a good person and strong willed but after the birsth of our child she got worse and worse, the problem is when you live their madness you start to become mad yourself, only now that I'm out that I realise how bad it was and I don't have to be treated that way, I suffered emotional abuse on a daily basis, earlier on in the relationship it was every now and then but the last 2 years it was every day. The constant belittlement, the constant poking me or punching me while I sleep. But it wasnt hysteria so i stayed, mainly for my daughter.

the problem is when you live their madness you start to become mad yourself, only now that I'm out that I realise how bad it was and I don't have to be treated that way, I suffered emotional abuse on a daily basis

Your not kidding. I need to just get out. She is never going to give me what I need. Everything I do or say is a workaround to her illness. She doesn't want to make time for me, tells me she is a cold b***h and I need to accept that. I'm such a warm person that is completely unacceptable....

My girlfriend has bipolar and depression she literally ended are relationship over it because I asked why has she let me down is this normal it's been 7 days now and she said there's no going back does she mean it I'm hurt ? :(

Also she's blocked all contact with me but says she still feels for me but doesn't love me as much the day after she said I mean everything and she never loved anybody more does she really mean it ??? But she said there is no chance of going back help ?

Oxycontin??? Worst answer here dude your getting yourself into way much trouble. Literally a dumb ass suggestion

Bro think about yourself this girl needs to go! You can do better! It's hard to live that way! If I had a girlfriend who slept with her ex like even just cuddle...she's out man!

Seriously. Cuddling your ex or honestly any alone time with an ex is suspect. Bipolar girls are super promiscuous without meds and it's only a little better with meds.