I feel sick when im near my girlfriend...why?

My Story I'm currently 20 years old. I've had a good amount of relationships but unfortunately I have and still am suffering the exact same horrible experience. I can say alot, and even cry about it, but i'm going to have to skip this for now. I took a 3 year break from dating because of this sickness. In the meantime I became a great competitive drug-free bodybuilder at the junior level. Being single was the only way I could do this, but now I need to give love and recieve it. When your in a relationship, you feel sick. When your not in a relationship, your fine, but your heart lacks love. What a curse! Let me tell you what I have done so far. The past 3 years I have meditated, went to church, saw 2 different psychiatrists (1 nurse practitioner, 1 Catholic), and I have taken many different medications. ok, the meditation, going to church, and the catholic psychiatrist, taught me to see the beauty in life. It is worth it and does improve the quality of life, but didn't get rid of the damn sickness! I have come up with every silly theory similar to some of the previous posts, but in the end it comes to one thing. Let's face it! This is a a major neurological imbalance! What should be focused on is finding a medication to help cure the problem. Yes, reading everybody's posts is comforting, but not enough. yes, it could be some sort of Agrophobia, but at the same time this theory can be terribly wrong. The symptoms of our unknown disorder only occur when related to potential relationships/relationships/contact with previous partners. Bottom line is, our bodies should not being reacting so severly to even the slightest negative thought/situation/fear of hurt! I have tried Celexa. This did not work. I have tried Effexor. We kept raising the dose to a point where I was experiencing heart problems because of the epinephrine contents. So i switched to Zoloft. I just started dating a girl and feel the sickness. Now, I just started taking a high dose of zoloft so it might take a few weeks to hopefully kick in. I'll report back later.

your not alone with this dude sometimes i get this strong gut feeling like im just stressed the fuck out i don't want to eat/sleep all i think is about her..i feel like shit too.. your not alone. and your not insane i think you just love her very mutch and afraid to hurt her. don't go insane :-D

Never figured there would be so many people out there with the same problem. I've been with my girlfriend for a little over seven months and I get this feeling every time. I feel sick to my stomach, I don't eat, and I feel as if I am going to throw up, and I wake up early in the morning. It really sucks especially when you don't get much time with your girlfriend. I'm in a long distance relationship with her right now and I get to see her once a month at the most. I learned if I distract myself and I am actively doing something then I'll be okay. If I sit there thinking about it and lie down to try and feel better, I will just feel worse. It's gotten in the way of sex and physical contact in general. I don't have any answers for anyone, but I think the best thing is to try and forget about the sickness. Try and focus on other things. I know it's hard, and even I haven't been able to do it quite yet. Sometimes I feel just fine, and then I feel like trash. It relieves me to know that other people have the problem though. Just know that you are not alone in this!

hey you guys i have been going on and off of this site since i got the problem and got passed it. i am eighteen years old and i have broken up with every one of my girlfriends in the past after a week because of this. the symptoms i get is that everytime i see her and think about her i feel sick like i am about to take a huge test and i get these thought doubting my relationship and everything i believe in between my girlfriend and i. my story... i started going out with this girl and i had fallen inlove with her at first site unlike any other girl i have gone out with. trust me i get the cream of the crop but she was way different than the others. so we started going out and after a year of us going out(longest relationship i have ever had by eleven months and three weeks up to this point) well it was about a week before school started and i was thinking about the day with her. well i felt that feeling come up and it hit me harder than ever. this girl i am going out with you guys i love her with all of my heart and i would rather give up my own life than to break her heart and she is perfect for me in every little way and is everything i have always wanted. well this tore me up for about a month i cried my self to slepp constantly thinking and i woulod throw everything up and i couldnt eat or sleep. the feeling made me go crazy with ideas of breaking up with her just to get rid of the feeling but i didnt. i am still with her today and i no longer have those feelings and it has been over three months since then and i am more than happy with her. i had alot of family help with this and i did alot of research. you guys the reason behind our feeling starts in the mind. when we meet a girl we are very attracted to our brain lets off this chemical that takes over and allows us to have these feeling which is fake love. its the excitement of everything going on between you and the girl. this feeling if u dont get over it you wont for the rest of your life. this feeling in your gut is your mind taking the feeling that is no longer constant that your body gives off aand changing your mind to think you r no longer in love with that person because u arent blinded by love. you stop thinking that person is perfect like you start to notice things wrong with her and stuff. when you feel that love for a girl 24/7 it is called the romance stage. then that love feeling starts to fade and then you enter the marriage stage where you can actually get annoyed with her. it could be days or weeks or even months before you get that love feeling again but you no longer feel that love all the time you have to make that feeling. in a relationship after a long time your significant other becomes your best friend and no longer your girlfriend. the point i am trying to get at is that you and your girlfriend can have literally no feelings at all towards eachother when u see eachother and that is totally fine.this action causes our mond to create this false hood of thinking about our relationship. resolution... ok so the way i got over it was to literally stop thinking about itand the way i did was when i got that feeling i would tell my self to stop thinking that and tell my slef how i feel about her and i wouldnt this this feeling overcome me. and when you achieve that that is when you will start feeling that love feeling again but you have to create that feeling by telling eachother how much you care for eachother and how your guys future together will be bright and full of love. tell your partner the feeling but also tell them that bgoth of you will get pass the feeling together and if you truly love eachother they will comfort you and do everything they can t help you because it is worst than hell doing it alone. but stay active and keep your mind off of it because it will always be there if you allow it. ohh and i also got very depressed during it and wanted to end my life over it. pills and everything doesnt work people its just a way of life that we havent gotten through with any other person because we always gave up when it got there. so dont give up you guys you can beat it. umm if you guys wanna talk about anything i am here and you can go to my site ***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed and email my email linked to it.

Listen bud. You have a good reply to the situation, but like I said before, these are only comfort methods. You talk about getting good looking girls which means nothing. Trust me, I have had those girls and still dont have any problems getting them because I choose to wait for the right one. You have simply come up with a theory and a comfort method. A summary of your solution is to avoid thinking that you don't love them anymore, and re-assure your future with them by talking to them. This method does help but not in the long run. All of you think that you are in mad love with your partners, but to tell you the truth, they will probably not be your last partner. When that time comes around where you date other people, its a little embarassing if you have to tell right off the bat that you want to talk about your future with them just so you can feel comfortable. You will probably regret stating that theory when you are older because I kno that I have said and thought of something like that. Like I said before, bottom line is that our bodies should not be reacting in such an intense manner to the point where we feel sick. This is a major chemical imbalance that has not been identified yet. What I'm doing is trying different medications out until I find the right one and right dose. In the mean time you should print out the following diagnostic that I have created from all of your symptoms and experiences. Please bring this to your doctor so they may give you a proper prescription and help me with my research to diagnose this disorder. A variety of doctors and opinions will better our chances. Summary of Main Symptoms (Created By: Sheldon D. Smit) - Patients report being nauseous around potential relationship to the point of throwing up - Patients report breaking up with partner because of sickness. Then cutting off all contact to help themselves feel healthier. Later, they would run into past partner, become extremely nauseous and throw up - Patients report kissing their partner, then ending up extremely nauseous and throwing up because of possible thoughts that question the relationships existence in the future or a final thought of being sick - Patients report the thought of engaging in sex as an onset of becoming extremely nauseous and throwing up. But, When actually engaged in sex, everything seems fine - Patients report obsessive thinking towards conclusions to the matter, such as questioning of the relationship, possibly making them extremely nauseous and throwing up - Patients report talking on the phone or even the thought of a phone call with their partner, makes them extremely nauseous to the point of throwing up - Patients report receiving text messages or the thought of having to receive one from their partner, makes them extremely nauseous to the point of throwing up - Patients report the moment before contact with their partner, or even knowing a specific time they will have to see their partner, as an onset of becoming extremely nauseous, sweating, and then throwing up - All patients report a severe loss of appetite all day, daily because of the fear of throwing up or becoming ill, feeling extremely nauseous all day, when in a relationship or potential relationship. This leads to unnecessary weight loss, malnutrition, lack of concentration levels, and withdrawal from the outside world - All Patients report the thought of knowing a specific time of contact with their partner in the future, an onset of being nauseous, loss of appetite because of the fear of throwing up, lack of concentration levels, and a sudden increase in general social anxiety. These symptoms persist all day - All patients report obsessive thinking about their partner - All patients report this matter to be interrupting the other parts of their lives including work, school etc... - Patients report falling asleep fine most of the time, but waking up uncommonly early, daily, (most say 5am) because of the feeling of being extremely nauseous, possibly throwing up, and then being unable to fall back asleep - Patients report that even smelling their partners scent (perfume), is an onset of feeling extremely nauseous and throwing up - Patients report seeing partner making contact with another person of the opposite sex, or even hearing that their partner will make contact with another person of the opposite sex, is an onset of feeling extremely nauseous and throwing up - Patients report that if the partner says / does something that makes them think that the partner wants / had someone else, they feel the symptoms of being nauseous and throwing up - Patients report that just seeing a picture of their partner/potential partner/previous partner, is an onset of feeling extremely nauseous and throwing up ! All symptoms in the scenarios that include the feeling of being extremely nauseous and throwing up, also include the other symptoms such as increased blood pressure, Increased heart rate, increased breathing rate, loss of appetite, diarhea, and tremoring. On days where problems persist, patients report eventual chest pain around the heart region and exhaustion sometimes before the day would normally end. ! In most cases, patients end up developing unhealthy behaviours such as retreat from society/opposite sex and sometimes develop an anti-social behaviour related to social anxiety. Some even mention the idea of committing suicide. Over the past 3 years, I(Sheldon Smit), have personally tried many different methods that do not cure the problem. These methods included: Reading self help books Meditating Seeing 2 different psychiatrists (1 Catholic, 1 Nurse Practitioner) Going to Church Trying A few Medications (I have tried celexa, this did not work. I have tried effexor, I eventually started experiencing heart problems at a high dose. I am currently on Zoloft and just started about 1 week ago at 150mg. I still feel sick moments, and am waking up constantly at 5am. I am now trying 200mg of zoloft and havent had a potential relationship come around)

Oh my gosh!! I'm soo happy this is why!!! I was crying with tears streaming yesterday wondering why I got a sick feeling about the person I loved and love. If so many people think this. Maybe it's because you love them sooo much it overwhelms you. I started crying since I was scared if the feeling meant it wasnt meant to be. But now after reading these maybe I know why now... That explains why I have this feeling.

i have the same thing going on. except I'm a girl. I have been with my bf for more than 2 years. I had this earlier but it went away I don't know why. now for months it is happening to me again. the difference in me is that when I go out with friends and see him in a party or some public place I f*** get this feeling and I can't keep it so I gotta throw up. sometimes when I go out with him I can control it i force myself and it goes away after a while, sometimes i try it and it only makes me feel worse. Please someone help me tell me what should I do.. it is really stressfull

i wanna talk to you.Please send me a message or something and we'll talk cuz there's no email the web addresses are not allowed here.

I get this sick feeling around my boyfriend, i have have many boyfriends in the past and none have made me feel sick, i know im not in love with my boyfriend and its not anxiety as im not to worried about losing him, i dont know how to make this feeling go away as it could potentially break us up :/

Hey guys, so yeah I've had that feeling too, obviously. What I've learned about it is that it involves WAY too much thinking. And of course, to stop thinking is rather difficult, it's like saying yourself not to think of a white polar bear, and what pops up in your mind constantly? Yup, a polar bear. So, short biography. I'm a college student, 2nd year Psychology. I love testing myself, so I did, and saw it as a challenge to get over. I started by eating not too much in the evening, or else I'd know I'd puke it all out, which I once did when I ate a shitload of McDonald's. Nowadays I always tell myself I'm filled with love, so I can't really eat too much (which is rather good, cause I've been willing to lose a few pounds for quite a while). I forced myself to think about her, and indeed, it gave me a weird and uneasy feeling. I had seen some stuff to overcome fears in my lessons, and I was mostly interested with 'flooding'. It was a technique used to solve fears by confronting the person with something that caused the fear. Later, the person would understand that there was nothing to fear for, since there weren't any bad outcomes. So I kept on thinking about her (flooding myself with thoughts about her), seeing what would be the result. This didn't work out too well me though, UNLESS I got nervous because I had a date later that evening and forced myself to stay nervous all the time (I know, weird approach) because I thought if I overexaggerated the whole thing and finally go meet her, it wouldn't be all that bad in the first place. I tried this a few times, and it seems to be working. So, in summary, I think you should find new ways of extraverting these thoughts. Many people on this forum solve it by telling it to their partner, but there are a lot of other ways in solving it. -Go on a really long date, and you'll see the tension eventually lowers. -Do some sports right before you go on a date, make yourself tired (and maybe try thinking about her simultaniously). -When you actually do get nervous when you're near her, tell yourself ' I want to enjoy this, I don't want to feel this sick because of some neurotic-bullshit' Place her/him OVER your fears in losing her. So yeah, I've solved it, kinda. But once I heard a guy say, who was in a long relationship with someone: "eventually, it's all a lot more fun in the beginning" WHICH IT IS, and the feeling you guys define as 'sick' is actually a part of it. Come on, I know some of you have felt the sickness feeling lower away, and being replaced by your conscious feeling of love for your partner is one the greatest things someone can experience. I wish you all a lot of succes!

so hans it really went all away??? or are you still working on it.. the problem for me is not when I think about him but when I meet him. anyway it sucks. it's not a good feeling at all.

Well I can honestly say that I haven't felt the feeling for quite a while now, or at least not in extreme quantity. I met her again yesterday and we spent quite some time together. In the beginning I felt it again for a bit, but then it eased away when I told myself that the feeling I'm having isn't functional at all. To me, it's like some kind of fobia. And fobias mostly start when the person relates a situation/object to a bad feeling, while knowing the fear is rather illogical. But then again, that's a rather simplistic explanation since the fear can be bound to other fears like losing your partner or thinking that you're not good enough. Rather ironic since I'm explaining it to both you and myself, overthinking things again. I guess you should just have to find the right connections in your mind to make you feel at ease again. Overexagerrating works just fine for myself, because it can be rather hilarious. For example: "OMG I'M GONNA DIE!" I thought once, making myself laugh at the hilarity of it all. Anyway, if theres anything you want to know in specific, just let me know. It's rather difficult to explain how I managed, or AM managING things during my relationship. I just know I don't want to succumb to feelings of fear, when knowing I could be loved in a magnificent way. Cheers!

I'm happy for you believe me.. knowing that someone is KILLING IT hahahah. I have the same problem, that I feel it in the beginning than it goes away..and sometimes it appears when we meet a friend or he says something that I don't like. But yesterday I was at his house and in the beginning I throw up, then for some reasons it didn't get away for like 2 hours that we stayed there. And we weren't doing anything just laying and talking. Anyway I'll let you know if there's something new. Please inform me if you find something out hahaha. Thank you so much for everything. I Wish you the best!

Hey! Too bad you had to feel sick for 2 hours in a row :/. So yeah, I did find something new. While I was studying Clinical Psychiatry I stumbled upon 'Panic Disorder'. Now I don't want to make any false conclusions or diagnostics, so if you don't feel the need, or don't think it'll help to read, don't. If you do, then there's good news, because it's easily treated or controlled. My guess for this 'sickness' feeling to be a panic disorder is the misinterpretation people give to their physical reactions. Here are a few: Sweaty hands, strongly beating heart, pain or uneasy feeling in the chest, cold chills or feelings of heat, and so on... And like I said before, the best way to treat or control it is to confront yourself with it, and be honest with what you think, in other words be assertive. Unlike other people here, I really don't recommend going to a psychologist or anything, because if you solve it yourself it'll be way better for the outcome and future events to control. Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panic_disorder Let me know what you think, ok? Cheers!

I don't know what to say, it may be this 'panic disorder'. And to tell you the truth I don't recommend going to a psychologist or something like that too.. May I ask you is this happening to you for the first time? I mean it didn't happen in other relationships you've had just now, or it happened in every relationship?? for me it's happening for the first time. and I've always been a healthy child, so it's surprising me so much. Anyway thank you so much, it feels good talking to someone who feels the same.