Good luck indeed, sorry to say,we need more than good luck when there is a 20 year age gap.
He will seek someone his own age, and have a family. I've seen it time and again.
My case, well, we had no choice only to part. I know it would only have lasted another year or so.
I am now showing my age, and it was hard work trying to keep up with someone 15 years younger.
He broke my heart, and it's so hard to get back on track, but, life goes on.
I've not posted for a while and just had a good catch up reading all the posts. Yours has given me positive hope so thank you :)
Hi SuperNova311, I've just read through your posts and recognise a lot of my 22 year long relationship in what you describe. From an outsiders point if view it would seem that the real heartache for you is how your husband treats you.
The young man reminds you painfully of what you are missing in what should be your 'real' relationship. I think it's the respect and good treatment that you get from this man that you miss not so much him. If your husband was suddenly loving and attentive to you would you love him back?
Being in a relationship with someone with a big age gap has its own challenges but on the face of it you would be better off with the young man.
But what you really need to do is learn to love yourself and treat yourself well. If you rely on anyone else to make you feel good you are doing yourself a disservice. Once you feel good about yourself and realise life is a precious adventure of your own and you don't need a man to be happy then suddenly they want to look after you and be nice to you.
I have reached this point in my life and it took intervention from the police, friends & family to finally make me see I had to leave my ex. Eighteen months later I am single and falling for a much younger man, but that's another story.....
I hope you are feeling better since you last posted?
sueellen2 Did your operation go well?
I've not been on here for a few weeks because I managed to stop analysing what is going on with the guy I like so much. So I didn't need to ask so many questions I guess. I came across a relationship advice site that made sense to me so I've been putting the principles into practice.
In a nutshell you have to be happy as yourself and know you can be content in life without a man. Then from that position of strength you have to communicate with men in a way they understand. There are ways to use body language, what you say and how you go about saying it.
I have been trying the techniques for a few weeks and I have ended up seeing him more than ever and he smiles so bright when he sees me I want to burst with joy :D
I'm not connected with the relationship site at all but I'm not sure I should post a link here, don't want to get in any trouble.....
Do you know i used to question my relationship with my man I am 60 he is 26 we have been good friends for 8 years and last year we suddenly started getting closer i didn't realize how close we were getting till he announced that he had to go away with his job for about 3 months .......my heart sank i felt sick i didn't know what to say to him we were good friends i didn't know i had these feelings till now the only thing i could think of to say was oh well lets hope they have internet there then we can talk and it was him that said they have to i love you and cant bare the thought of not being able to to talk to you i said what you mean you love me he said i'm in love with you you are my life i said to him don't be silly i am 59 you are 25 (that was last year) he said i don't care about age all i know is i'm in love with you and i want to be with you forever now i have to explain that he is in Paris i am in England.... lucky they did have internet and we could talk we talked for hours and hours about us both how all this suddenly turned from friendship to love we made arrangements that i was going to spend Christmas and new year with him in Paris i was so excited on Christmas day i was getting my things ready to take to Paris when i went up the loft for a suit case i had to move the ladders because they were on the other side of the loft when coming down the ladders i missed the second from the bottom step and fell i shattered my foot and ended up in hospital and not in Paris i managed to get a message to him for him not to go to the airport to meet me the following morning as i wouldn't be coming on boxing day instead of talking to him face to face i was talking to him via the internet broken not only my foot but my heart i really wanted to be with him I had to have a 6 hour operation on my foot and lots of screws and a plate were put in and i was going to be off my feet for at least 10 weeks now you are asking why didn't he come to me then.... good question .... the answer is he is Egyptian so he couldn't get a visa to come to England even though he has worked in Paris for the past 5 years and its a long drawn out thing and he would have to go back to Egypt to sort it out anyway we have talked every day as always since then and i am hoping to go to Paris in April as i am now out of the wheelchair and walking with a boot and a stick he wants to take me to Egypt with him in June to meet his mother and the rest of his family but with me not working for the past 3 months finances are a bit tight he told me not to worry about that that he is taking me so i have finally had to tell my 3 children that there mum is going to Paris see a man that is younger than all of them and that he is also going to be taking me to Egypt in June..............i was totally shocked at the response i got off them they told me to go have a good time and not to worry about the age difference that if he loves me than that's all that matters grab the moment with both hands as life is to short to worry about age .....I am 100% sure of his love for me i have my children s blessing that is all that matters to me ........what anyone else wants to think doesn't matter...... its my life and what i have left of it i am going to live to the full and ill be with a man who wants me for what is inside me not money or looks he is very hansom and he could have any girl he wanted but he has chosen me................Women my age i have one thing to say to you go for it does it really matter what anyone else thinks it is your happiness that really matters not their's its your life take control of it and live every it like its your last and most of all ...... You only get one life LIVE IT
Babsie xxx
Your situation is almost the same as mine. I am 41 yrs old with 2 kids. My husband doesnt appreciate me and my kids. For yrs, I stayed with him because I was so scared I couldn't survive without my husband. Then last yr, I met this young man at the health club. I thought he was in early 30's. He is very mature and caring towards me. I recently found his age. He is 27 yrs old. I have a crush in him. I always think about him and I think he knows it. But the problem is he has a girlfriend. He told me that he is not in love with his girlfriend anymore and he is planning to call it quits. I am just confused right now because I finally got the guts to divorce my husband and my crush is young and presently has a girl friend. Also Iam thinkiing what will other people say. I am a cougar. ?
@Babsie, once you said Egypt, warning bells sent off. 60 v 27 !!!!
Sorry love, you Will see in the long run.
i wish you all the luck. U will need it.
what do you mean....... @Babsie, once you said Egypt, warning bells sent off!!!!!!............... Not only have i known him 8 years he doesn't live in Egypt just his family do! He lives in Paris and has done for the past 6+ years so i don't get what you are trying to say ? No disrespect but it would be nice for you to put your concerns rather than say.... i wish you all the luck. U will need it...........
I understand how you feel. Your upset-ness may be more because of having an affair and not being able to act on the relationship in a normal way. So, you send mixed messages to the guy, trying to make it work, but also having responsibilities at home. He might feel insecure about it all also.
I don't know what it is about these younger men that make us so desperate and affect our hearts so. And it sneaks up on us so quickly!!!
I would love an update to see how you are doing. I can share my story if you are interested. Hope things are okay for you
Oh my god I can't beleive that ther are other women my age pregnant to a much younger men. My name is Sarah and I am 41. I am 6 months pregnant with my 27 year old boyfriend of 6 years. This is a planned pregnancy. I went off birth control and it took about 9 months before I fell pregnant. This will be my second and his first. We are talking about one more if I can. My daughter is 26 and has 2 babies of her own. I had her when I was 15 and my mother raised her. I want to be a mother and raise children myself.
I hope you don't let family keep you apart... You've been together 6yrs... We only go around just once, don't miss your chance...
Hi, Sorry just got back on. I had it rough. Long story short. The appendix cancer was in the beginning stages thank God. That surgery went well but then about a week later I ruptured my stomach and had to have emergency surgery. Was in the hospital a total of 15 days.That surgery was awful. I am home now and doing well. Getting better every day. Thanks for asking.
Update on my younger guy. We are over. He did call to see how I was once. My advice is this: If the younger man is immature then leave him alone. You will only get hurt. It doesn't matter how good looking or how good anything else is. He is still immature and not be there for you when you need him the most.
Our stories have some similarities...but only some. I am 67 years old, like you look and act much younger. The love of my life turns 30 this year. We have overcome, immigration, bi-racism and ageism. Like you - the bottom line is we love each other and as he says, "We fall in love with a soul and have no control of the package it comes in". I am told numerous times a day that he loves me....I can count on at least 3 phone calls a day; a number of texts and I/M...he is there immediately if needed. I am told I am his angel, that he adores and cherishes me. And I offer the same back to him. I am proud to be his wife, even prouder that he is my husband. This beautiful soul and handsome man, loves me and I have learned to accept it. And he is the air I breathe. And if anyone questions our ages, then they are not our friends (of which we have many who have supported us as this relationship grew and accept us for who we are - two people in love).
I have been married to a man 19 years younger than myself for 5 years now - we have been together for 8 years. Never have I been happier, felt more loved, more valued and more appreciated than now. He takes care of me like no other man - and I have been married 2x before to men my own age.
If anyone is concerned - don't be. Everyone we know gave us all the encouragement and love we could have desired.