I want a baby, but my husband "isnt ready"

Im glad I came across this! I thought I was the only one with an unreasonable partner lol. My bf and I have been together for 5 years now. We talk about marriage and kids all the time, no go yet though. He says he isnt ready until hes financially stable. The biggest issue is, hes never financially stable...he is self employed and trying to build his business, hes constantly spending on tools and equipment (ofcourse all of it goes to the future). But every year its the same exact story. This doesnt come between us, well not anymore anyways...Ive gotten to the point where I dont care anymore lol. Weve talked about it in the past, always some excuse lol. But he is my best friend, im not going anywhere despite what the future brings...hes a good man, works hard, no affairs, genuine heart and we really love one another. It all comes with acceptance though, I reached a point where I could accept the possibility that we may not have children or even get married lol. If you cant accept it it probably wont work without communication and outside help. I guess I eventually came to the realization that the economy really is a mess, the world isnt sunshine and rainbows...I even told him I would be okay with one child! I dont want more than one *shrugs shoulders*...when I first told him this he said no way, we have to have 2! Then months later he says "We shouldnt have children, we wont be able to afford it." I cant get a read on him. Anywho my goal is 1 child someday. I think we could handle that. Worst comes to worst we dont have children and I can foster in my old age lol!

I'm a tad bit late on this thread... like 4 years late.. but i have been having this problem lately and finally decided to look it up online and stumbled across this. Its a bit comforting to know i'm not the only one feeling like this. Have any of you succeeded in talking your husbands into children? I'm quite young only 20 so i try to be patient but after being married for a year and having all of my husbands family alwayas ask if there's any "good news" yet i cant help but bring it up. every time i do he says not yet, just wait about 2-3 months then we can try... the problem? he has been saying this for 6 months!!! I've had ovarian cysts for a LONG TIME so talking to other mothers who have it also they say its a good idea to try as soon as possible cause its a bit difficult to get preg. and gets harder as time goes on... and that scares me. I've always imagined about being a mother and i want it so badly but i dont know what to do :(

I thought i was alone  but when i was reading all of your Posted  it' made me really sad:(

I am 26 year old and my Husband is 38. he has 1 child of his own and 2 step kids from his Ex. he have been a good father to his step kids and super dad to his child, that is the reason why i do really proud of him.i just disappointed when i about decided to have our own kids, he asked me to wait,he has excuses which at the first time i considered it as a right things to do, I have to wait yes,money issues,i want him to enjoy his life,he has a lot of things to do before he'd jumped up to be a father again but i feel very sad about it,I am not  a dumb female who will be just sit down and smile all day and waiting the right time to have a baby HEY! I feel very lonely at home alone,I DO love kids I want to be a mother and no one one has right to say the time when to be a mum'i feel sad because i feel that my husband being selfish and unfair to me. Let's think about this; He has been a good father to his step kids and to his child,but how could he say NO to me when i told him i wanna have baby..how does it work?Me - married to him,love him with all my heart,fully committed and responsible in life, and willing to be a best mum..and money?I can find a job easily the reason why i am not work now is because he asked me to stay at home and be a plain housewife but how could i be happy being a housewife when i have only 1 cat at home.his kids are 15 and 12 year old they are all going to school and they're not even hug me when they'are coming home,they don't even say goodnight when they about to sleep:( but anyway it's all fine with me because they always thinking i am not their mother and i am not acting as mother because i respect their mother and i am a good person,i will never ever try to do such things that i know it would cause disrespectful to anyone,i love them but that's it ,l am just here to love them,to be there when they need someone to talk to i am always here for them..anyway yes i want  A baby  and we already talked last month ago and he said yes.on July we will try to conceive and yeah i feel good but of course i am not that very happy,because he seem not to be ready to give me a kid he just said yes because i asked to.that is the different from being the first in someone's life. well life is too short,i have to dealt everything because i choose him,i married him,i love him and he is my husband,he is my life.

I'm still afraid now that it takes 5 months before we try to conceive because what if he change his mind and what if he ask me to wait again?I can't wait that short or long time i really want to have baby,if he will change his mind both of us OUR LIFE WILL CHANGE AS WELL. I love him but I am strong to change the direction of my sailing boat..i rather be alone than to with someone else that's my rule in my life.

Hi everyone, I'm the original person who started this thread long, long time ago, and wow, I did not know that there is so many of us! Well, my "husband" now ex-husband never changed his mind, for so many years I tried to tell him how important it is to me, eventually I met someone else, actually I stumbled upon my old "love" and we started to talk about our relationship problems and so on. Anyways, I decided to leave my husband and be happy with someone who wanted a child as much as I did, and our feelings from the past ignited even more. When I told my husband that I'm leaving that's when he said "ok, let's have a baby, and start a real family", it was too late for me. I'm due in April, and I couldn't be any happier. I wish you all good luck with getting that "YES" and a "BFP"!

Just to make everything clear this wasn't originally my post (I just checked), I also had one similar, so apologies to the originator.

wow i thought i was alone but guess im not im still hoping for that day when he is ready to have a family

I am willing to Help you out any way indeed i am eupone

I am willing to Help you out any way indeed i am eupone

Hi i am willing to help you out any way

I feel the same way I am turning 26 next month he is 26. It is soo hard to want it soo bad and seeing all these people pregnant one being my younger sister in law who isnt even married or mature enough to have a baby. My husband and I are going to be married three years in May and have been together for 11 years. I understand that he wants to wait but its hard for me and makes me depressed. Its nice to know I am not alone in this. He does talk about having kids but when I bring up having one in the nnear future he gets defensive. I guess all I can do is try and give him more time, :(. Maybe its a sign hes just not ready to take on the father roll or mature enouh I dont know but it sux that we are in different places when it comes to this topic. Thanx ladies for posting on this makes me feel like im not alone considering everyone around me is pregnant or has a baby.

How do I cope? Everyday that goes by I just feel more and more sad, It so bad that I cry everyday and I don't know what to do with myself. I am a housewife with no children.My husband is in the Air Force, so they pay pretty much all our bills so money wise we have saved a bit. 

Im scared that I'm gonna start to resent him, I love him more than anything. But he just doesn't get why I want children so bad and every time I try to talk about it so I can have an idea of when we can start, he changes the timeline and it just gets further and further away.

My only dream in life is to have kids, that's all I've ever wanted, but he just doesn't get it.

When I met him I lived in England and to be with him I had to leave my friends and family behind and join him. I left my life, my job, my identity pretty much everything I had just to be with him. I don't ask for much, and what I do ask for he cant give me....

 

I just want him to want this with me....

I posted in the forum 8 months ago and here's a little update:

My man and I are now married as of Dec 8 :) and still not having a baby yet. But its okay. I really want a baby but i am still motivated not to bring a child into the world that I cant support. Currently, my husband and I have recently made a 400 mile move and are still in college. He has warmed up to the idea of having children, even talks about it with me. The other day my husband brightened up my world! We were talking and he stated that instead of waiting until 27, we can start having kids once we buy our house! This is great, even knowing i still have 2 wait 2-3 years its better than 8 :) I hope all you woman the best of luck and maybe one day we will all get our children :)

Hello doit1234,

You are not alone with this one. I am 40 and he is 30. We were dating for 4 years and now married for 4 years. We love each other so much infact we are so crazy for each other. But for whatever reason having children in our vows has been non existence in his side. It is a horrid feeling to be told I don't want a baby. It's a total betrayal and rejection of my being as a woman. I don't even know if we can have a child because he never finish inside me, he is so good in withdrawal method. I want to try everything to keep our marriage strong, hoping and praying that he comes around before I run out of time. I hate when people said you are going to either forget your dreams to have children or lose your husband. Why can't they not see it's not even a choice. People who write/blog their very intimate situations are desperately needed help. I never trick my husband and not planning to. I am not judging the women who will do it. I wish them the best of luck and happiness. That's their choice and I am sure they know what will be the outcome of doing so, bad and good.

I don't think putting the cum in the syringe will work because sperm doesn't live long outside the body. The temperature is important and saliva is acidic then that wll kill it too. Some people said rubbing the cum inside you after making love will probably work, as it takes only few seconds to do it. Not sure if it works because didn't do that or read that some got pregnant that way, but maybe. It's unethical but that's what women who will trick their husbands have to face later and that's their decison.

"I never trick my husband and not planning to. I am not judging the women who will do it. I wish them the best of luck and happiness. That's their choice and I am sure they know what will be the outcome of doing so, bad and good."

Really? You won't cast judgement on women who con their 'loved ones' into a life-long commitment that they're not prepared to make through their own faculty? You won't cast judgement on the introduction of life into a developmental environment lacking an invested male role-model?
The selfish and sinister chauvinism of even the most seemingly compassionate women in this thread is truly terrifying; and all the more reason for men to deem their households unfit for children.

Why do you judge them? Who are you to judge? Yes, I agree it's sinister but as I said not my part to judge and not my conscience to tumoil. Do they have the rights to do it? Yes, why not? It's their body it's their life. Is it wrong? Yes, it is very wrong. Good luck being a judge, Anonymous.