Husband only wants oral sex!

hussain_susa wrote:

Guest wrote:

My husband only wants oral sex and doesn't perform oral sex on me at all. He never comes to me first. I always go to him and then he only wants oral sex. I feel like a failure as a wife. I'm embarassed and hurting. I'm 36 and he is 45. He says he has no energy for sex, but spends his time watching tv, with his kids and working out. I'm only a second thought. The more I give to him the less he gives to me. I cook, clean, make his lunch every morning, iron his clothes. I give all I have and I get almost nothing in return.

Any advice? I don't want a divorce, but I can't handle a sexless marriage!


sadandconfused

hi dear,[;please first tell me what kind of religion are you or your husband holding,then i can help you lot!God bless you.

I fail to see where religion was the issue in the original post. The issue here is sexual pleasure equality. - Unless you're thinking along something like this... Many religions fail to provide a moral background on this issue between married couples and seem to show signs of Male Chauvinism where the Man has all the dominance and what he says and wants is what only happens. The Female just accepts the garbage bits thrown down to them... And IF that is the case, then it's her fault for marrying a religious zealot pig. - But, none of that has been mentioned and so I default to just the sexual pleasure equality issue.

These stories are making me sick, I can't believe how many women are raped. And yes raped is not too strong of a word. Any pressure no matter if it's coming from a stranger, partner or a husband it's rape. Though, statics do back this up. The truth is guys keep doing it cause they know they can get away with it. It's a war between the sexes and men are winning the battle but won can win the war. This isn't saying that men are the enemy, it's saying that if you want respect, demand respect. If a guy doesn't respect you, dump him cause at the end of the day you're better being single then being unhappy, which it seems that you all are anyway. On a second note, what kind of message are you sending your kids? Would you want your sons to treat woman like that? If you put up with it, they'll think it's normal behaviour no matter what you say. Cause actions speak louder then actions. Also would you want your girls to be in the same situation as you? No of course not. This isn't about blaming the victims, it's about getting the victims out of the abusive relationships and the only way is the women who are being treated horrible get out of it. I'm in a lesbian relationship, it makes me so sad to know what women are being treated this way. I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it would be for the women in this forum. Stories like this make me feel happy I'm gay and that I'll never have to worry about putting up with the sh*t men do. Woman are so easy to talk to, your always on the same page and they understand your body. Men can do that as well, they just don't bother cause they don't have to. Make them. Make them. Make them.

"Any pressure no matter if it's coming from a stranger, partner or a husband it's rape... Make them. Make them. Make them..."



Well there's an idea... Strap your man down to the bed and sit on his face. Rub it in real good and be messy about it. When you're done, don't undo the straps, just pack your bags and leave for a week. Tell him you'll come back to get more whenever you feel like it... biii-aaatch... and the laundry better be done, the house better be clean, and a warm meal better be on the table when you get back. If not, then a leather whip and spikes will be involved next time! (Warning! Some men secretly like the idea of that.)



Of course I'm just kidding, but who knows, maybe the man will grow to enjoy being raped like that... LOL



On a side note, I know about Butch women who treat their lesbian partner in a similar selfish manner. They get what they want and dart out the door for a pack of cigarettes only to show back up a week later.



But anyway, annoyed, I'm glad to hear you're in a happy relationship. I agree that many men treat their women poorly. The men who don't are few and far between the variations of common men. Since a good man is hard to find, then you're only left with 2 options... 1) Stay single and have plenty of toys, or 2) Go lesbian and cheer for your own team.



Meanwhile, the good men who are still single can't find a good woman because the bad men caused the good women to go lesbian... bummer for those guys... So they are left with a similar situation... 1) Remain single and have plenty of toys, or 2) Go homo and cheer for their own team.



There is a third option, and I'm afraid this is what alot of people choose... for all, 3) Settle for trash and make the best of it just so you won't be lonely all the time... Which is actually what I did on the first try without acknowledging that is what I was doing. I just now realized that is what I did while typing this... that's spooky... but whew, I'm glad I got out of that mess... but I learned what to stay away from.



Happily married man for 16 years this time to a wonderful woman who deserves special attention and still going strong. The trick is for the man to be submissive first and be a responsible man about it. But the word "man" is a corrupt label I really don't like associating myself with in today's twisted society. I really prefer to call myself "just a guy trying to live on this rock called Earth with the rest of you nuts".

hello dear I can Undrestand your feeling, But you dont want to diverce, then you shoul be make a friend , who can undersatand your feeling

Dev

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My partner only wants oral sex which is fine, but it's been three years and he has only had intercourse with me two times.  He goes soft when it's time to enter me.  It's like ... I don't know, but I feel like he doesn't want me like a man, just oral... Why wouldn't a man want to have intercourse with me... Frustrated and confused.

I am having the same problem and it sucks because he is 34 and I'm 21. We have been trying for a baby and its so hard when all he wants to do is sleep and if he does get in the mood all he wants is for me to give him oral sex and then he wont do anything for me, especially oral. He made it clear to me that he wont do any oral for me but yet expects me to do it to him!!! I hate feeling like this, I'm so hurt and if I talk to him about it he just tells me that I am talking about sex too much and that our relationship isn't all about sex but isn't it a problem if there is no sex or only things that please him?

Just my honest opinion here since I am a man and know all the old man tricks... You have 2 choices, 1) STOP trying for a baby and run in the other direction. There's no sense in you being treated that way. Find a better man that knows ladies go first. If you stick around it will only get worse. You're feelings are not being respected and your desires are not being met. A compromise is also being refused. OR 2) If you are too scared to leave, Continue to be in the picture but never give any pleasure until he submits first. Never drop guard and never fall for his petty pitty tricks. - Either way you will benefit in the long run. [P.S. - don't listen to me, get several other opinions first]

Sleep with his best friend and then tell him, but after you have a good divorce lawyer.

thats great ,but i am very good at pleaseing him and i like to, i want him to be dominate .he does have a time getting hard, only does when i give him oral, he even suggest buying toys for me we did, but he wont use them, still i give and i like it ,but i
im dying for just a little attention. what am i doing wrong why does he not want to touch me at all.. i do tell him i want to so he knows, i dont b***h I just talk to him. hes a good guy and would do anything for me but sex.

I luv your reply ! You pin pointed everything right on the nose. Me and my guy have been intimately involved for 12 years off and on and have tried several different sexual moves. He never use to focus on oral but lately he has been wanting oral and oral only. He speaks of it being like a fantasy and he wants control and obidience like you speak of. Every since the time I did that and that ONLY he says he keeps thinking of that time. At first I was offended but after reading your reply I totally understand a mans thoughts.

Give him an inch, he will take a mile. That's what I see. Of course that can go both ways, and if so, might as well have fun with it.

We must be married to the same man. My husband does this also. I think what I would do is limit some of the oral sex you're giving to him. Make him aware that you deserve the same treatment that he's getting. Whether he likes it or not. In a marriage there has to be compromising and no double standards. If all else fails seek a sex therapist.

All husbands are alike. want wife to to have oral sex but avoid licking women's G point> I did this many times for my wife> believe u me we become young every time I lick her. Keep your vagina clean and no smell>>>>>> u know what I mean. Many times if vag... smells and them man never comes closure soooooooooo

Oz you are so right. I am also depressed because I truly believe that my husband like his thing sucked more than he likes putting it inside of me. It's like he has a firm erection as long as I am sucking on him, but as soon as I start asking for him to put himself inside of me, his penis starts to soften. What is that about? I find myself very depressed and feel unwanted. Is this some act of selfishness?

Some men with an erectile dysfunction require advanced stimulation. Oral sex offers this stimulation. Unfortunately it's sometimes the only thing that works. Has he talked to a doctor about using Viagra? A dose of that and he's all yours for hours.