Mothers who leave their children

my daughter is walking away , i always thought she was selfish but she may have emotional or mental disorder as you mentioned

You are very wise. Thank you.

Thank your for your great response as it really described what I've been feeling; I am replying from the abandoning mother perspective. I am going through such difficulty with my children, 3 girls -13, 10 and 9, and 1 boy, 8. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH but I have had thoughts of just leaving and driving as far away as I can. Why? It's their horrible behavior. Yeah, yeah, it's my fault. I'm not a great disciplinarian and I spoiled them way too much. I had suffered through 14 years of infertility & miscarriages before I finally had my first live child, and then the rest came one after another. So 14 years of longing for a child just made me want to give them everything. Ok, so where I am today... the kids CONSTANTLY fight with each other, using f-word and other foul language and wishing each other dead. I have NEVER used foul language in front of them. NEVER. My husband does when he gets into his childish temper tantrums. We have gone through years of marital problems in the past - alot of resentment over his spoiled behavior, his arrogant entitled attitude; that and the anxiety I was going through, basically raising the kids on my own (I'm a stay-at-home mom) bc he was not home most of the day, working. I didn't have any interest in sex and spitefully "denied" him; I reached the point where in order to have peace with him, I decided to let him use me for his pleasure, so he's happy, that's one less stress off my shoulders. What makes dealing with the kids difficult is that now I have medical issues - diverticulitis, twisted colon, stomach ulcer, acid reflux, narrowed esophagus that also spasms painfully, malabsorbtion, which results in dizziness, fatigue, etc. I also have epilepsy (developed suddenly at age 29, 16 yrs ago), anxiety, palpitations (feels like I'm going to drop dead from heart failure), possible rheumatoid arthritis (extremely painful joints; in past my blood "rheumatoid factor" was slightly elevated, but never got official diagnosis yet), fibromyalgia... So basically I live with extreme pain and fatigue on most days. I find it SO difficult to be the perfect mother that I want to be, with effective disciline enforcement resulting in well behaved, kind children. Add to my stress now is my oldest daughter, who has high function autism, is now a moody, quick-to-anger teenager who started to have so much difficulty with school that at the school's suggestion, and my daughter's pleading, had to suddenly take on homeschooling - halfway into the school year, when I had little time or money to prepare/purchase curriculum. I'm reaching my limits and feel like if I don't escape, I will literally go insane. I actually made an escape this morning when I had all I could take of two of the kids' attitudes (it's hard when a child you love so much tells you "shut the f*ck up you f**cking b*tch. I wish you were dead). I got in the car and just drove off, leaving them with their father. Went over to the RV dealership to consider my idea of getting an RV to park in my driveway to move into. That way I'm escaped from the house, yet not far from my kids. The servant (me) will still go to the house to cook, wash dishes and clothes, pick up after their messes (and they trash the place everyday). You see, I just can't bring myself to totally leave them forever. I love them so much, even though they treat me so mean. I know they love me too, and need me, but how much longer can I take of their abuse towards me and each other? Sorry this is so long but maybe this can give some of you some perspective to why some moms may leave their kids. Not because they're selfish or evil. Beacause they feel so distraught and desperate and all alone mentally and they reach the point of insanity.

I'm sorry to hear about your mom .. I was wondering if I could ask you some advice .. my BF has the same situation and I never know what to say .. I feel hurt for him too and I just don't know what to tell him to make him feel better ...

I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds so painful. LINDA

I'm sorry for you. This too happened to my sister and myself. She and dad both just vanished. I have come to try to know her but she is crazy I have tried and tried but she continues to hurt me mentally. So once again I will not be Bothered with her. She lies and talks bad about every one. I truly tho she is wack. But I can't continue to allow her in my life don't even know why I tried so hard. She was never my mother and still is not.but I am done with her . My dad is an.alcoholic so no talking with him I really don't know him . It's amazing how rhis affects a person. I do not respect either one I them. But I will pray for you.God bless you and anyone else affected by abandonment

I hope you don't judge your daughter too harshly. I found myself in a similar situation with an emotionally abusive narcissist. After 13 years under his constant criticism, you find yourself broken and lost. I died a little more every day that I stayed in that house. My children stayed in his custody because it was the only way I could escape him. I had no career, he gave me no money. I now see my kids every other weekend and that is all I can stand. Dealing with him to get the kids is not pleasant. He consistently harasses me and calls me names. He says terrible things about me in front of the kids. I find myself contemplating leaving the state and only seeing the kids a few times a year. I feel that this would cause things to settle down with their Dad and hopefully make their life better.

Have you tbough about getting counseling. .have you told your doctor hownyou been feeling. Those are some of the things you can do be for walking out on your child. .that child needs you too.. get some help

He told me I wouldn't get pregnant. I was 24 and emotionally unstable. He scammed me for a green card. I have been homeless twice still I coparent with him all the while he has complained and I have gotten on my feel and paid through the nose for daycare. Now my son, who I have done everything for and made endless sacrifices for wants to live with him and I want to let him go. I feel like my life has been hijacked by this man and unfortunately also this child. I do love the child but I want to walk away and start over my life without the two of them in it. He is capable of caring for the child and I would rather just let him go and walk away clean than deal with the pain and the manipulation or the constant reminder that all the turmoil I have been through was at the hand of this criminal and he crushed me and ruined 4 years of my life. I want to take my life back.

Hi, I am a father and the mother of my children has abandoned my children. I feel extremely sad for my children and deep anger for there mother because she has left our little six year old daughter in foster care and our four year old son with me. Both have special needs, they were recently diagnosed with autism. As far as I know she left because she met another man. The pain is unbearable and I am desperately trying to fill the gaps that she has left in my children's life's.

Your insite is amazing !

I am a grandmother trying to help her son raise his two kids. His wife left him with the kids over two years ago and hasn't wanted to see the kids since. They are struggling especially the girl. She is seven now and very angry. The five year old boy doesn't seem to have as ,any issues. How can I help the girl feel better? Any ideas?

This is what I'm considering...i separated almost 2 years ago and the abuse never ends, it gets worse by the day. I am and always have been a good mother and very connected to the kids, I love them deeply but I feel that if I don't go very very far and out of his reach, he will destroy me and there won't be anything left....so sad.

My wife left me and our two kids 6 weeks ago. She was a great mother to them for 7+ years. It hurts so bad to think she could just walk away, but she did and was cheating on me for months and asked me to fly her to her home to visit her mom and it was all a plan to lay the foundation for leaving, took money, stole my work computer, bought a hookah, and started smoking weed and drinking. She has been with several men since she left and already has a steady boyfriend for 3 weeks. She hasn't spoken to our daughter in a month. It's all too much to handle sometimes. Mental illness is real.

My God! You have soo much to deal with. And I know you don't want to leave them because you love them, but I learned a very hard lesson over the years. Sometimes you have to love people at a distance. God bless you and all your children. And your husband is a real ass hole for even expecting you to lift a finger for his sorry ass. I pray u find a way out or that your husband can get therapy or Jesus Christ in his heart. Your a human being and you deserve kindness and love.