Mothers who leave their children

Thank you for your post. I am a grandmother raising two granddaughters and I am so sad. My daughter ran off with a boyfriend and will not return. She writes me on FB and says she is sorry but she will not come back. I read your post and I think my daughter has been in emotional pain as well. Looking back. Her father died when she was 4 and she has longed for him. She has had several unhealthy and abusive relationships with men. Her depression and anxiety has never been treated. I feel so alone but reading your post and others I realize I am not. Thankful you are a kind and loving grandparent. I suppose all we can do is love our little ones and give them the best we can offer, as we hold onto our faith that our daughters shall return.

There are no reasons they are selfish and criminal, they are mentally and emotionally lazy and simply can not give to another. usually they are very good at manipulating others and getting other people to support them until they find something better. they use rationalizations such as " its my life" or "they are better without me", all lazy and unimaginative excuses. Most of all they are incapable of love, and need to be pitied.

Think of it as leaving the husband more then you would think leaving the kids. I have been a stay at home mom for 13 years and adore my children, but my marriage is so bad I just want to leave. My husband plays the kids against me which makes me feel unwanted by everyone. IF I was unstable emotionally, I would high tale it out of here, and I have thought about it, but will not act. But I do see how some moms can just leave even if they love their kids dearly. It’s more about getting out of the marriage then leaving the kids and if the kids are closer to dad at the time, it makes a mom feel like she isn’t needed.

You told the truth and I love the way you expressed yourself and your opinion I could not have wrote it better myself ..I sincerely believe this way .. Thank-You Very Much ..

I have raised a child for 22 years whose mother has came in and out of her life for the 1st 10 years I think. Now she is fixing to get married and wants to invite her real mom to the wedding? Can someone please tell me why? She hasn't considered her her mom in years!

But mostly they are not better. Abondoned kids suffer too much pain. Being not good enough is better than being absent. I do not understand parents abondoning their kids after divorce.

I am the second boy ( now 44 years old ) and have a great relation with mom. My elder brother also loves mom but they always fight. As you said your son is probably jealous of you. And i am sure of that he will understand his mistake and apologize you as he grows.

Abondoning your boys will hurt them much more than the constant fights with your abusive husband. You can share custody and see them in the weekends & holidays.

At least connect and apologize your child. You do not have to love your child for doing this. This is the correct think to do.

I hope this isn’t too late. I have been a full time mom/step-parent for 16 years to son who’s Bio-mother was absent for almost all of (most of which was due to drug abuse). I called it “Santa Clause Parenting” she would occasionally show up for a football game or a baseball game but outside of that there was very little to no contact. I worked hard, and still do, to fill the loving mother void (and as they get older they see that)... but I can tell he still looks for her and wants her to want him back. I make it a point to quietly invite her to big life events, like graduation parties and birthdays. Most of the time she flakes, at graduation I had to call her other family members to bring her to The party she said she would be early for. That said, I don’t want him to feel like he is without on important days... after all it is about him. Your daughter sees what you do for her. No doubt, she adores you for it. If she feels that something would be missing if her Bio-mom isn’t at her wedding, invite her. I more than understand how difficult it can be to endure, but when you do what you know is best for your child you will find that you have nothing to regret. Have a great day. I hope all goes well.

I am a mother of adult children , 3 sons and 1 daughter who is pregnant. I recently bought my first home , was a renter all my life , struggled for many years due to no support or help, no family, and their dad was in and out, Abusive, I bought my home and their dad appeared , reached me sayinig he was in need of a transplant , kidney. Has end stage renal disease, I moved out of state, allowed him to come due to the area we all lived generally in prior had a unrealistic wait list for a kidney and the new states list was still not great but better. Its been 3 months of sharing space and Ive literally lost myself . Hes still exactly just as mentally and emotionally abusive as he was years ago. Granted his physical ability to abuse me is not as much like earlier years so that part is ok. Im feeling like its starting to impact my health. I want to leave and never see him again in my life If I could help it However, our grandchild is coming into the world in the next 2 months... I cant bare the thought of walking away when my daughter who has no partner, needs me the most Yet Im dying inside.. I feel like I cant take another term of my ex husband again. Hes also very overbearing to the kids , mainly my sons but isnt mean as much to my daughter so she is ok with him. She is very youngest so she doesnt remember all the treatment like my sons do. Sometimes he makes it a teamed up scenerio towards me , gains up on me with trying to include her, I dont know what to do but I find myself daydreaming of being gone all the time, I cant stop planning plans to go but never doing it, I feel very stuck and like theres no way to get some peace.

What a P.O.S. you are.. The child did not ask to be born. You need to be $hot between the eyes or thrown into a dark prison cell and forgotten about for eternity. You made the decision to make a human life, now you want to abandon it, when it is vulnerable? Put on your big gurl pants and own up to the responsibility of your decision.

Kick his worthless A$$ out, you owe him nothing. Or better yet, abuse him.. treat him like the P.O.S. that he is.. Why are you letting him treat you that way in your own house?

Its has nothing to do with being lazy. We talk ourselves out of doing something due to emotional trauma. We believe we are not good enough.

This comment is rude and un called for its not okay for her to be depressed but its okay for you to tell people to get shot in the head. Your backwards.