when i fall in love, I get depressed, even in relationships

Oh.. this is so sad. I was in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression and had the same issues like you, when he feels the love just gets depressed and pushes me away. It was such a deep connection between us and he told me so much about how hard it is for him to go foreword with his guilt of the past... it hurts so much for us for you to be cold and after a while you start to think that you deserve someone who wants you all the time not from time to time. The thing is that at first people with depressin really look so in love like they will always love you no matter what and then boom the next day they're cold and distant and don't wanna see you. It was so hard to live with someone like that when you can't be sure of anything. And after a month of cold feelings from him I sayd enough and send him a looong text(because he didn't want to meet and talk) explaining why I can't be his friend anymore, after a few days he posted pictures with someone else and now a month later he kisses someone else on social media looking peacefull and in love as he did with me. Going from love to love damaging other people. This is him wanted to be saved not him being in love. He need to be alone and deal with his problems not hide in relationships, that's why I left in the first place, so he can get better without distractions. But he find another one. The thing about this kind of love is that feels so real like is a soulmate connection and everything is so intense and moves so fast but is all an illusion, they need someone to see in them what they don't see and we need something real pure love, something that lasts. And at first you think "oh, so this is how real love feels like" and then after a few episodes of him leaving you you have some "aha" moments and start to question everything about that relationship. All we can do is not geting involve with someone like that because we are always going to lose, we can't save them even if we try(and I tryed so much trust me). So what now? Why are we in this? How can we help them when they push us away without any explanation? A a few days ago he called me(he hates to talk on the phone) in a sunday morning to ask me something even tho i told him that i don't want to talk until he seeks help and feels like he is ok because i can't go tru that again. But he is in a new relationship now, didn't listen to anything i said to him and feels confident that's why called me. I feel betraied by him and makes me hate him so much for moving on with another girl when all i did was give him space so he can deal with his problems..

Honestly, everyone is like this. Marriage is not how humans are supposed to live. Don’t make it your goal-it’s all a lie. Nobody is happy married unless it’s realllllyyyy special. Nobody knows loyalty anymore-we use each other and that’s fucking depressing. There’s nothing wrong with you- be single and get your mojo back

The reason this happens may sound controversial, but this is something I'm convicted of, not only through personal experience, but also through observation of other people's experiences. People get depressed in relationships/love when they don't know that they have a greater source of love than any human being can give - the love of God through Jesus Christ. When we are restored from the inside by faith in Christ, it makes all those things fade. We then start living for a higher standard - knowing that our love is aligned with God's love for us, and our love for Him, and this brings purpose to our lives and even our love lives. Because when we surrender to God, we want to follow His ways, and His ways are the best for us. That means we want to be married to one person for life, a person with whom we can share our intimate selves and totally trust their loyalty and faithfulness, because they hold themselves to a high standard - the standard God gave us. Even through hardship, we can relax knowing that our covenant is solid and protected by God's mercy and grace. The depression in love stems from the fact that we are all born into this desolate world where true love has lost its meaning. We were not made to have several mates and to have a string of broken relationships. We were made to bond with one special person for life, and be fully committed and comfortable and intimate with that person, through a higher vision of living a Godly life. That is what makes us relax and truly appreciate the beauty of the other person and our relationship with them. Sex before marriage also has negative consequences on our soul - it tears us apart when we are torn apart from that person, even if we don't know it/feel it or deny it. But those things are very real and healing can come from our seeking the truth of God who loves us immensely and who wishes the best for us. A cup has to be filled before it can overflow - so we must first taste the reality of true love, God's love, before we can really give it out, and receive it back. Anything other than that is based on fear and need(iness), which leads to selfishness and dysfunction of all kind. I hope this helps someone out there. Know that God loves you more than anyone here and that He wants your heart to be mended through His healing and loving touch. He is real and He will answer you if you call upon His name with a genuine heart. God bless you, whoever is reading this.

I think that it personally comes from anxiety. When I start thinking about the other person, I immediately start to worry. I think about how I have to keep them happy and then I start feeling overwhelmed and then I feel like a failure. Like, how do you care about someone else the way you want to care about them and you can't even take care of yourself or make yourself happy the way that you want. So I know that every time I think about my significant other it makes me sad because of the anxiety that's behind it.. no matter how much they say take care it has extra stress on me, but I still crave them at the same time. I don't know if that makes sense.

Medically speaking, that makes NO sense and has no scientific evidence to support it. The vast majority of men in relationships do not get depressed so even if their testosterone DID go down, that should not explain depression.

Its like you cant imagine a life without that person and at the same time you are depressed and cant take a further step.

so, I have this issue. Im not saying that all of you will have it...but for some of you....this may very well be your answer: ROCD. It’s a form of OCD. UsuallyOCD, perfectionism, anxiety/depression all go together. ROCD is a subset and stands for relationship obsessive compulsive disorder. It causes obsessions and compulsions all based around our relationships. It causes the person to question their love of their partner: Do I REALLY love my partner? I don’t know if they could really be the one for me? (Etc.) or it can cause you to hyperfocus on a perceived flaw and eventually snowball and cause you to become repulsed by your love. This is just how I personally experience ROCD. It can be different for every individual. I really encourage each of you to just do some research on the symptoms of ROCD to see if it’s something that may be plaguing you!! Once I was properly diagnosed it really freed me mentally. I finally felt like there was hope. I’m a year in to my new relationship and I still actively manage my OCD and sometimes it gets the better of me...but thankfully I have a partner who is patient and understanding, and I have learned the proper coping skills necessary to sustain a successful relationship! A lot of people believe OCD is obsessions with cleaning and organizing but honestly, there are SOOO many subsets to OCD that are completely unrelated to cleaning. There are many ways in which ROCD can read its ugly head...and sometimes ROCD can morhph or co-exist with another form of OCD. I just really recommend reading up on it and seeing if any of it strikes a chord. It’s worth maybe finding a psychologist who does talk therapy and go from there! I was in therapy for two years before we discovered I actually had a form of OCD. There were little details about my life and day that I’d always leave out because I didn’t think they were important and one day I made a little comment and my therapist started digging into a little bit more and finally she just out and told me that, “sitting and doing your eyeliner over and over for 5 hours because you don’t think it’s perfect enough is an OCD habit.” I was shocked. I never had thought about me being OCD...and sure enough as the weeks went on I started to realize how badly I really did ruminate on thoughts and why little tasks gave me anxiety throughout the day (like applying eyeliner.) Anyway, hoped this was helpful to someone! OCD has many faces. So does depression! Don’t let it take over your life. It’s managable! Gina

I have the very same thing as you ....i thought I was the only one with thus problem...I'm going to a therapist to find out an answer .have u got any answers ???

I am very depressed because I engaged in sexual intercourse with a guy I didn't want to. It was just an accident. I am unable to get over this. We did not have sex. Please help me out!