Bipolar boyfriend breaking up with me every 3/4months- at my

I am going through the same thing. I had been really close close friends with my ex for a few years before we became romantically , although we were always attracted to each other. I always noticed a hot and cold nature to him but at the time I thought he was just trying to "have some game" or something. We dated casually for six months and then the last three months really hot and heavy -- he seemed so in love, said and did the sweetest things and then a month ago started pulling back and a week ago told me he didn't have feeling for me and saw me as a friend?! He isn't diagnosed (he won't see anyone) but he has mentioned Several times that he knows something is wrong with him. He has alot of classic Bipolar symptoms and I just wonder if his sudden lack of feelings is part of this or if he really truely just sees me as a friend after asking me to move in with him two months prior?!!?! Confused..Lost.. waiting..but also moving on with my life

Hope your situation has gotten better!

Hello,

Just recently my bipolar boyfriend broke up with me. It is scary to see these posts, because I'm afraid it will happen to me. Things were going incredibly great, we were so in love, but he started experiencing symptoms of depression and bipolar disorder a few weeks ago. He has always suffered from depression, but was just recently diagnosed as bipolar. He became very distant, and when the break up finally occurred, he seemed numb. My advice to anyone who is in love with a bipolar sufferer, is to be weary. If they come back to you naturally you are going to want to take them back, i mean, I would. But think about the long run. Will this be happening all the time? Are the goods good enough to block out the bads? There is nothing you can do to make them better but be there for them at their disposal.

I really feel that the emotional swings a person with a mood disorder or a personality disorder suffers is not a choice. The chemistry they are dealing with, whether it's switched due to genetics, diet, or a highly stressful situation, is very complex and has nothing to do with the intelligence or emotional quotient (E.Q.) of those around them. I spent the early part of my twenties trying to figure out why I just couldn't find the right guy, then later found out the problem was me. Until one of those guys (and not surprisingly, one that I should have avoided for many reasons) gave me a raft of hell about how "I" was behaving, I didn't even think I was doing anything wrong. As a female, one thing I found that helps me is monitoring my hormones. If a woman has too much estrogen or conversely too little progesterone (aka estrogen dominance) she can have some sort of hormone therapy to aid this. For some women "the pill" helps and for others Depo Provera helps. I wouldn't have learned that these were alternatives until I took a good hard look at myself.

If there is a guy in your life who genuinely wants to be with you and suffers from the cyclothymic mood disorder or bipolar personality disorder (even if you only suspect), it's okay to make his getting help a fair term of your agreement to patch things up. "Sweetheart I really want to be with you, but for more than 3 or 4 months. When you commit to seeing someone about your issues and go for follow-ups repeatedly for at least that amount of time (3-4 months), then I will happily commit to seeing you again and will be supportive of you!"

I just ended a relationship with a bipolar boyfriend of one year. Or he actually ended it with me for the 4th time. When things were great, they were great, but his caustic verbal attacks on me got to be a little bit much, or alot.

I love him dearly, but I have decided to move on. I had committed myself entirely to my relationship with him, gave it my all and then some.

The problem was, the highs and the lows were extreme. Very extreme.

The only reason he was with me was because I made him feel safe. This seems to be a common thing among bipolar relationships.

My suggestion to the other folks, is if your boyfriend or girlfriend is bipolar, make sure to help them stay on their regimen of medication and if they see a psychiatrist, keep that regular.

My ex, unfortunately drank alcohol in excess every night and that doesn't help, so be sure your significant others keep their alcohol consumption down to a low or none.

I really praise those who can endure these relationships, they're not easy.

I did it for a year, but I had to throw in the towel, it just wasn't what I wanted anymore.

My boyriend of 8 months who is bipolar and an alcoholic dumped me the day after thanksgiving saying i was causing him too much stress. Im a doctor and he's a chef. two weeks ago he was telling me he wanted to marry me next year, buy a house , etc.. now he hates me and never wants to see me again. I got him back on his meds but he only takes them sporadically and when I ask him if he is taking them he jumps down my throat. He was verbally abusive when he was drunk and when sober blamed everything on the alcohol. His moods switched on a dime. Drinking made everything ten times worse. I don't know if he will ever come back to me, but I still love him with everything I have. I'm not sure what I will do if he does come back

I am going through the same issue right now..writing this while in tears! i feel helples! He broke up with me 4 days ago saying he doesn't feel the same for me anymore and its been bothering him. we were together for 7 months and for 6 months we were so in love and things couldn't be better in our lives...we were like the perfect couple..he had wanted me to move in. The one night, 5 days ago, he was telling me that he loved me but he felt differently, and that somedays he's so in love with me and can't picture his life without me and somedays he just wants to be by himself...and he doesn't want to break up with me though....then the next day he calls me and says he thinks we should just go our seperate ways....i was so completely heartbroken,,,,we shared so much, he was my best friend. I'm so devastated and hurt. He was diagnosed when he was 9yrs old, in therapy and taking meds for a while, but then a few years ago stopped all of it....he said he could control it himself and knows how to handle things when he feels like he's getting into one of his moods...i love him so much and i'm so sad i can barely type right now due to my eyes clouding up with tears...it was so real for me, but i keep questioning,,,did he even love me or did he just think he did?,,,i'm so hurt, upset, and confused.

My boyfriend of 11 months has suffered from a seasonal depression for many years, that falls between October-December and sometimes into January. October being the month he was born, November being Thanksgiving, and December being Christmas, New Years, and dates from his past that he still has a hard time handling. I was aware of his seasonal depression and was ready to grab the bull by the horns. It slowly started getting worse and ageworse, and he started seeing a counselor who has made him realize that he has never come to terms or dealt with situations his past (i.e. chldhood issuehe messs, ex girlfriends, etc.) And through his counseling he began to realize that he has never thought about what he wanted in life, his relationships, and just in gene ral. Knowing everything he is going through, I tried not to blame myself, and when his mood swings rose I just acted cool, and told myself that he doesn't t. have any control. Earlier this week he finally was diagnosed with bi polar and his doctor started him off on a low dosage of it, so h could become acclimated. Iglect finally came to a point after weeks of him slowly slipping away and not giving me any love, affection, care, etc. My heart couldn't bear of anymore. We camee to an agreement that we wouldn't talk until he was happy and healthier. Obviously he has made contact with me since then our conversations eventually lead nback to talk of our relationship and it wad hard for him. Its awful because so badly I want to be there for him and support him, but my heart can't suffer anymore. Its such a catch22. He messaged me telling me that he is just worried about getting healthy so that he can talk to me again and prove himself through actions and not words. And that he lovea me and that I'm always in his thoughts, which was such an amazing thing for him to say and I know he means it. Which should make Mr feel confident but at the same time I am do afraid of the unknown. Not knowing if or.even when be will get better, and I'm so lonely, emotional, confused, and sick to my stomach that my birthday, Valentine's day, and what would have Been/will be our one year anniversary. Unfortunately with him as well as what seems to be many others, during the last 3 months he broke up with me twice, and this time it was a bit of a mutual agreement only because I couldn't take anymore and he knew that I deserve better but at this time cannot fulfill that for me. I just want to know what to do, this disorder has taken a toll on everything, even had me in the ER three times for stress-induced ulcers. I just want my baby back and for this all to be over, ughh so many mixed feelings.

my boyfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and it never seemed to be a problem to me and i have just accepted that he is different but we have never talked about, and that has been the mistake.

he is an absolutely amazing person and i love him with all my heart no matter what, even the hell he puts me through every five months give or take a week.

i broke up with my last boyfriend for him after he spent two months being the best friend i had ever had and would listen to me cry over my ex even though he wanted me so badly. Finally, i decided that he was the better man and we had the best of times together. we even went on a romantic vacation to edisto island all on our own. four days after being home from SC he said he just "wasn't feeling anymore" and didnt want to drag me along with him. the first thing(as in the next day) he did was try to find some new tail. four days later he came back to me saying how sorry he was and that he loves me. then for about two months we broke up one week and got back together the next. then i finally told him to fall off and started seeing another guy. finding out about him made him super jealous and he was doing anything and everything he could to get me back. it only took me two weeks to give into him because i love him and he really didnt have to say or do nearly as much as he did. and now five months later......he's "having those thoughts" and he "just cant fight them" and we are back at square one. i do not want to give up and his only idea is to call it quits right now. but i have seen this before, i know what happens next, and now im scared. very very scared and heart broken.

but one thing we never talked about durring any of this is that he is bipolar. and now im seeing on here other people are experiencing the exact same thing in relationships involving a partner with bipolar disorder. so now im hoping to have an adult conversation with him today to work on a solution.

If you are experiencing this now, you are likely continue to experience this problem in the future. Do you want to be going through this the rest of your life?

You need to tell your boyfriend to seek help, either by himself or together with a relationship counselor, because you cannot handle this drama. It isn't your responsibility to solve his problems. Sometimes it takes a breakup for one to realize their behavior. He may need exactly this to shake him up.

I would say, if you break up with me one more time, that's the end of it.

http://does-my-boyfriend-love-me.blogspot.com/

I've been with a bipolar man for coming up on 9 months. The first chunk of our relationship was burdened by extenuating circumstances, all exacerbated by the fact that he has a mood disorder, with neither of us knowing it. We have broken up on a few occasions, and have been through some extremely hard times, but have never really ceased to stand by each other, and the love has only gotten stronger. We are currently in a sort of limbo, slowly letting our respective walls re-crumble. He was recently diagnosed as bipolar with mild psychosis, and after being officially diagnosed, immediately started in with according meds. I already see a change. He is the person I fell in love with. Of course, he is still dark-sided around the edges, but that comes with the territory, and I have learned to love that part of him, too.

It is SO important for people dealing with this disorder to seek counseling AND medication. I now know that he literally has NO control over this part of his brain. The monstrous and derogatory behavior you see rear its ugly head when times get tough is NOT a choice for these people. Often, they say things they don't even remember, and that come from a place they don't understand. Arguing with them is completely futile, and while the words coming out their mouth may sound premeditated and cognitively formulated, you canNOT fight fire with fire. Just shut up, and let them run their mouth. Do NOT run yours.

You may never understand how their brain works. But if you want to establish a healthy, loving relationship with someone who has Bipolar disorder, read a damn book, stay on your toes, recognize triggers that piss them off, and give them the reassurance they need and deserve. I also agree with what "catatonic" said above. You have to be an intelligent enough person to keep up, as these people are extremely smart and often manipulative, whether they mean to be or not. Educate yourself. Remain strong, loving, and LOYAL. Good luck:)

I, like many of you, have been dealing with a bipolar and alcoholic bf... I have felt so alone lately with all that has been going on. And as a result of the exhaustion I've been facing with "drunksitting" and dealing with the continual disrespect I get I am now depressed. I love him. Needless to say. But I know I need to end it and walk away... I cannot live my life like this any longer. The past year has been too much to bear and I cannot imagine another year or even two months of this kind of emotional exhaustion... Tonight (as I am near my breaking point) I decided to reach out to find support from women who are going through this as well. I could really use a friend who understands... So if you think you could be that friend to me, please email me.

I would really, really appreciate any advice I can get...

Michelle. %-)

michelle its a hard life dealing with someone with bipolar disorder,but with an alcoholic as well,i have a brother how is bipolar and what i had to deal with and my family over 30 yrs,the abusive behaviour,the family gatherings ruined,weddings, anniversays,birthdays,xmas,summer holidays and how he would make people feel they had a low self esteem,relations of the family distanced themselves from us,if he turned up at functions things would be on a knife edge,we forgave him so many times because of his bipolar disorder,his wife of 25yrs is a nervous wreck and has a low self esteem because of his cold, cruel and controlling behaviour,i done so many good things for him over the yrs and i had a enough of his behaviour,when he ruined a 2 week holiday for myself and a group of relatives,i gave him a piece of mind in a constructive way,before everyone was afraid to speak there mind to him,ever since he has respected me ,but he knows i will not tolerate his destructive behaviour anymore,dont be a victim to this man,be a survivor and stay away from him and have no contact and start a new path in your life.

I need advice: I am a victim of domestic violence - physical, emotional and verbal. My doctor stated that I am slightly bipoloar an has given me meds. Since I sep from my husband I connected with a male high school friend just recently after 20 years. We were not close in high school he dated my best friend and I dated his. When we connected on FB we IM for 7 hours and it continued like that for almost a month. With in three days of connecting he bought me a plane ticket to join him in Vegas, (I would have to pay for the ticket, but he would cover the rest of my expenses). We talked, texted, IM and E-mailed for 12 to 17 hours a day. He was so sweet and kind. Now when i spoke to him in the morning he was sober and still said the same things to me, but I noticed he would drink almost every night when we talked. He would drink a whole 12 pack or whisky. He spoke openly about his feelings. He told me that he was in love with me the second day we talked and that he needed me in his life. he said i was special b/c he never said anything like that to any woman before. He would write me such beautiful things and he was open with his feelings. On Valentines day he sent me a dozen roses and a card that read, "Come grow old with me for the best yet to come!", then he sent my mother her roses and asked for her permission to date me!. He told me he wanted to marry me if I wasn't already married. He wanted to be a step dad to my kids, he wanted me pregnant because he never had kids. I am 2 months older than him, we are both 39, but the women he has dated have been much older than him. (One woman he dated for 12 years and in the 2nd year he caught her having sex with his brother and the another girl he has dated on and off cheated on him with her ex boyfriend and he caught her, but it seems he keeps going back to them. I believe they both have alcohol and prescription drug problems)I never fell so hard so fast and he told me that he was not like my ex (who I was with for 13 years) and that he would make sure that I was always happy, that is what he wanted to do for me. He always seemed interested in my problems. We started telling each other about our faults. I told him that about 20 years ago I had a boyfriend that cheated on me and I got HPV (Genital Warts) He changed and became distant and would not talk to me, he was also drunk) He told me that he had to process that information. i accepted him telling me he was a felon for a drug charge 20 years ago, but he was hung up on what I had told him, even after I told him that I have not had a breakout for almost 20 years and neither my husband nor the kids got them. When I met him in Vegas he was drunk, not too bad, but u could tell. He was kissing me and hugging me and telling me how excited he was to see me, telling everyone our story. I wanted to have sex and he wanted to gamble. He could not get it up, which made me think it was me, (I am heavy, but I am losing weight - 40 pounds). i told him I was not in the best shape and he stated he did not care as long as I was doing something about it. I keep myself up and dress nicely. We went gambling, I drank and he kept telling me that he loved me and hugged me. (three days before the trip I told him that my ex had taken $500 from me and all I had was his $400 for the plain ticket) he told me that was okay and not to worry about it) He hardly ate on the trip just drank. I had expectations that we were going to make love a lot and we did not. I tried, and when he did he was rough. I had a great time with him on the first night, but after he lost $1000 he became distant and cold. The 2nd day he stated he did not drink all day. He wasn't like he was when we first met off the plane. We made love but he had an orgasm and did not care about me. I tried talking to him about his feelings and he got mad at me. He became verbally abusive always putting me down. When I got mad at him and tried to talk to him he got furious with me and told me he had not time for my c**p and that my problems were no where near his and he has a lot to think about. I could feel the change in him. he was not the romantic man that I talked with before, not he is like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde. After Vegas he distanced himself from me. Would not write me like we had been. A lot of things happened to me after the trip and I needed him and he yelled at me telling me I was insecure and that I was pressuring him>>>> He would not talk to me, he stopped saying that he loved me, he was cold when he wrote to me and then he stopped taking my calls. he seemed liked I was bothering him. I could not stay away, I wanted the man that was before Vegas. He would not answer me as to what happened. Then he told me that I ruined his Vegas trip because i had no money, bringing him down asking him if he liked me or not and accusing him of cheating on me when he stayed out all night gambling . Now he tells me that when I was joking with him it messed with his mind and u do not do that to people. Now he is messing with my head telling me he went back out with his exes but they are not who he wants, he cares about me a lot, but he doesn't know anymore. I need to be patient. He got jealous of my FB entry accusing me of playing games with him. He won't answer my questions on the relationship. He only talks to me when he wants to talk to me. he told me things changed after Vegas???? I am so confused!!! I just want answers. I am in love with him and really do not know why? I got so depressed over this. I could not function. I am seeing a therapist who told me to cut off all ties with him, but when he contacts me, it is like I can't. I know his family has alcohol issues and he drinks, my friends tell me is bi-polar. What should I do? He tells me to move on then he tells me not too. I need guidance. Can anyone give me advice on this???

Wow! My eyes were just opened. Here is my story, and anyone that can comment on this and let me know if my ex boyfriend could also be bipolar would be very much appreciated. So here it goes, we met in Hawaii together. We both had just recently got burned from our exes and divorced. His divorce happened quickly where mine was drawn out alot more but none the less when we met, it was instant attraction and instant bond. For the first couple weeks we spent hours talking on the phone and getting to know each other. It seemed to good to be true. We had literally everything in common and everything was in sync. Making a long story short, he asked me to relocate with him to the mainland because he got orders. At that point we'd been together for 7 months. He asked me to move in around the 6 month and I was a little leary about but went ahead with it. At that point I started to notice mood swings or how he'd act out over very minor things or comments that I would make. I also found it strange that a man 27 years old talked to his mom every day if not multiple times a day. I also noticed that at times he would be very distant and not the lovable, cuddle boy, and compliaments stopped. This concerned me however I just kept taking day by day and putting the blame more on the stress of the big move that was about to happen. I noticed that he become more and more protective of me and if I wanted to hang out with my friends, he'd get up set and then go into a mode that made me feel bad bc he was sad. I went ahead with the move and figured starting over our lives in a different area with no exes and making all new friends together would be a major plus. Once getting our new home late December, we only had each other. Didn't know a soul and we used to be able to have so much fun together even if it was just us. Since there was a drastic change to the life style, climate, and literally nothing was the same. I wasn't working yet, and fiancially we were struggling just being on his income with the military. I noticed that no matter how much I tried to make him happy, some how some way I did soemthing wrong. It could be how I asked a question. (He'd think I was questioning him instead), Then when it came to going out to a bar or something it just seemed different. We couldn't find our place where we both fit. Slowly I could feel him pulling away but the real hurtful part was on a very regular basis he would tell me how he couldn't wait to start a family with me, and for me to be his wife, and talked about the future all the time. He would give me flowers, write me cards that expressed how I was the best thing that ever came into his life and I was his best friend but in person, his actions were distant. We'd go days with out kissing and the arguing started up and kept on going. Eventually I felt like I was walking on egg shells. I didn't know what to say or do that wasn't going to up set him. He was constantly on edge and from no where be yelling for what reason I dont know. He also started calling me names and I felt belittled alot. I didn't understand it at all. How can some one promise you so much, want a family, want to marry you, want this and that but then act this way. I'm no push over and I'm a very independent person but being there with no job, no friends, nothing but him put me in a position that I didn't like. If I would disagree about something he would resent me for days for no reason. ANyway, we were together for 10 months almost to the day. I never saw it coming when it ended. I knew things weren't going great but the good times did out way the bad but I was definitely tired and frustrated with the current situation. He told me 2 weeks before we broke up that his heart wasn't in it anymore and that he didn't know what he wanted. Me not knowing what the heck to do went and stayed in a hotel to give him time to think about what he really wanted. I was going out of my mind and very crushed because I was trying so hard to please him and be my self regardless of the circumstances. I was madly in love with my boyfriend and all I could do was pray that this all would pass.
With in 3 days of me being gone, he called me and asked me to come back and that he loved me and he was just being stupid. It wouldn't happen again. I was leary to believe him because I couldn't believe it even got to that point. But needless to say I couldn't stay in the hotel for long and so I went back. He said it wouldn't happen again over and over and repeatedly kept telling me that he asked me to come back because he wanted to be with me and to trust him. I did my best to do that and believe it. Two weeks later, he broke up with me and said he just wanted to be single, didn't want a relationship, didn't want to answer to anyone and just wanted to do what he wanted. It was an extremely selfish move and I couldn't believe my ears. Not working (and I always have), being very far away from friends and any family I had no idea what to do. I knew I cuoldn't stay in a place with a man that didn't want me but no matter how much I tried to understand it all, i just couldn't. The morning of the day he broke things off, he made love to me and told me how he wanted me to have his baby. Then by the afternoon when I got home, cold as ice and when I asked if we were ok, he said no. THen boom. I packed our house in one week of all my household goods. I didn't know where to go or what to do but with the Grace of God I made it out. He didn't give me any money to leave, didn't help me move, just wanted me gone. I packed my car with my necessities and headed for the beach in California. The whole way, I knew he would regret his decision 10 fold and I didn't know how long it would take but I knew he would.
5 days after getting to California and doing everything I could to be ok, he called me and said he had made a huge mistake and wanted me back. I couldn't just jump in my car and drive 1300 miles back to him. Plus the episode with the hotel just a few weeks prior was very fresh and I would like to think I am not that gullible twice. Now dont get me wrong, it tore my heart out to not be able to run back to him. I'm in love him and he's my life, my best friend. The next few days were unbarible. He would freak out on me about not responding to a text message or missed a phone call. Then getting accused of not wanting to come back right away because I had already found some one new. (COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION!). finally he told me to f off and that he didnt' want to talk to anymore and to leave him alone. Which I did. Now another 5 or so days have passed and once again he is calling and repeatedly telling me that he wants to marry me, knows he's made the worst mistake of his life, and his regret is more then he bare alone, he wants us to go to couples counseling and is willing to do what ever it takes to get us back to the happiiness we once had. It sounds so good but still I have no peace about it. Number 1, he screwed me really bad and put me in the worst position of my life and scared me more then i've ever been afraid by dumping me the way he did. I don't trust his word right now. Its up and its down and all around. I've made my ground and that is "if" i go back to that state, I will have a job lined up and I will get my own apartment. He said he wants all over me 100% and will not support what I'm standing my ground on. He wants me to move back into our old house and I just can't do it. I need to stand on my own two feet, have my own place, and then we can work through things and date and see where it all goes until that day comes he proposes. BUT if none of that happens and he decides he wants to be single or doesn't want me again and pushes me away at least I'm not homeless. As of today, our conversation went really well and I again told him this was my offer to him. If he wantss me back so bad, he has to urn my trust back, and that I will find a job prior to returning and get an apartment. He basically then said thanks again for f'n up his heart and that I need to get my heart out of it so he can suffer alone. I know my reasonings for handling the return are legit. In fact, my mind tells me why even go back but my heart is so in love and I care so much for him and what we had was very special. Soooo i don't know if I described the ups and downs to the fullest but the major mood swings he has of one morning fine, by evening he's a completely different person. The whole thing is extremely exhausting but I would work it out if its meant to be. Thats the key, if its meant to be. I'm really confused about it all, hurting, and crushed. I just wish none of it would have happened and if it is systems of bipolar disorder why didnt I see them with in the first few months, was I just blind to it or is it because we were talking more on the phone and normally just hanging out on the weekends? Ah. Anyone that can help me figure this out it would be really really helpful.