I've been with my boyfriend of 5 years, and now it's over. I was definitely on a roller coaster of emotions. Strangely enough, it was always me that got us back on track when he slipped off the roller coaster. As I look back and try to make sense of it all, he literally destroyed every Christmas and Thanksgiving. This year was no exception. We had plans to go to my brothers' house. I hadn't heard from him so called. No answer. I sent a text with no answer. After a while, and with the dinner about to start, I get a text - "I won't be going there today". All of these ups and downs come out of the blue. Just the day before, we were at the movies and always have a great time. We had plans in 2017 to get engaged. We had lots of plans, but none of that seems to matter. I often thought to myself. How could he be that cruel. How could we go from making plans to walking away with no remorse? Over the 5 year relationship, he would go through these changes always around season changes - or holidays. Always in a very cruel way. Usually in a text - essentially saying not to contact him - said he would block my number. Like what? There were so many other red flags that I chose to ignore. He's usually estranged from his mom giving her the silence treatment sometime for months at a time. He has two children. One of which he has basically written off. He doesn't have any friends either. He seems to blame everyone else. Along the way, he tried to isolate me from friends and family too. In fact, said that he should be my priority and my daughter should come second. It's taken me so many times of getting pushed down before I finally had enough. I don't know if he will contact me again, but this time I've made a promise to never go back. The sad thing of it all is that he doesn't think it's him. It's everyone else! To all of you that are in a relationship like this one, you deserve to be happy too! Don't let someone else pull you down and drown with them.
my ex boyfriend who is bipolar. We didn’t date for that long but man did I fall hard.
Being with him was amazing, I loved him and I still love him and I’m just trying to make it each day. He was amazing, sweet, kind, so affectionate.
Backstory: He has bipolar I. Recently I lost my job and I been stressed and depressed. so when he broke up with me I thought bc he wanted me to study and look for a job.
Fastward to NYE: He was texting me all day how excited he was to see me and spend nye together. When I arrived at my apt he was already there. I just got my hair done and he was telling me how beautiful and he couldn’t get his hands off me. I was like i need to shower and get ready but he really wanted sex, so I gave in and we did it, but it wasn’t great he was like just kept going and eventually he hurt me. He said sorry and we can just get ready. So we get ready and before we are about to leave he tells me he doesn’t want to go to this party and he wants to stay in my room just us two. I tell him we need to go. We go to the party and what I think we are haviing a good time. He wants to leave right after the count down but I tell him I don’t want to go home what are we gonna do at home. Finally we leave the party and get home and I’m little annoyed. I put on pjs and we both pass out. I wake up in the morning and roll over and say hi and have sex, shower and get ready. I realized he didn’t take his meds the night before. As I am getting ready to go to this house I can feel that he quiet and just checking his instargram and not talking much. I finsih getting ready and we walk out the door. I ask him do you want to be alone today? he’s like yeah I do, actually I want to break up? I ask what are you joking? were going to NOLA in two weeks to meet my parents you just told me how excited you were to go and you’re parents told us all the places we have to go. He tells me he’s not happy and I’m like how you just told me you loved me this morning like an hour ago and now your not happy and you’re over me. He keeps telling me he’s not happy and he doesn’t love me anymore. I’m like so heartborken I didnt even understand what was happening. He leaves my apartment and I just been heartbroken. I was so confused how he could do 180 and not even feel bad. He calls me the next day and we talk and he’s like you need to figure out your own things and I need to figure out what I want but seperatly. Hes like we can talk in couple months but I want to be alone. I was like OMG i dont evne know to think. I get dumped on new years day and I paid for our tickets to NOLA, and he doesn’t even care at all. it doesn’t even phase him. I feel I am still in shock. Do I wait two months or just move on? Is he really over me that fast, I been so depressed so sad that its just over. we were so in love with each other so I thought and now he wants nothing to do with me. He deleted me off Facebook and instagram its just been really hard. he just did 180 and I just can’t get my head wrapped around this.
I know how you feel it's just hard bc you know there speaking the truth right. I mean they are in the moment bc that's what they truly feel. But you feel cheated like made you fall for them and then they up and leave. It's very hard. I spoke to my ex and few times about stuff he seems not to care at all. If I bring up other topics he's okay to chat anything to do with us he shuts down. I'm almost at two months of us no talking like he requested but I'm thinking maybe I won't reach out at all. I do love him but this is been very hard and from all my research this is a pattern, it will continue esp if there medicated or doing therapy pretty whole life has to change and you need to think about that.
Healthy diet
No sugar
Excerises
Therapy both of you
Ctb therapy
Mood journal for both of you
No alcohol
No drugs
This a life style change and they have to be willing to do that and if you want to be in their life and there willing to do that prob means you should too.
I miss my love everyday and I'm so sad but maybe us just being friend is better then a relationship. You're gonna have to give up a lot, biploar will take over your life, your dreams , even your relationship. You have to learn the triggers. I didn't know how serious of illnesses this was until I did some research. While your guy is gone I would take this time to do yourself and do some therapy ob your own and figure out if this is really what you want.
Take it from someone who has been in it for 4 years. I've forgiven so much and each time we'd break up I'd be hopeful again after being convinced by my bi polar ex things would change. It's crazy because I go back now and read emails and they all tend to repeat themselves. The love, the high, then the start of coldness, critical mood of his, his depression, the always backing off eventually no matter how I'm there to let him know it's just the illness that's making him say he doesn't want or can't handle the relationship. That never works, we split from things he does or says to me in that state - then within 2 weeks or so of no contact (twice it included sleeping unprotected with 2 different girls)... then it's back to he can't live without me- he loves me, he treats me amazing ..a few months of bliss and then the cycle returns!!
It's only been 2 days since I told him I'm out of his life. Been together 4 years and we break up every 2-3 months. He's on Kalonopin for anxiety and depression, Oxapazine for a mood stabilizer - does cocaine for recreation about 3 times a month, drinks up to 2 or 3 energy drinks a day, 2 or 3 12oz cokes a day and gives himself his own Testerone shots which he gets from a friend not from a doctor.
He was doing well the last 2 months - he was finally put on a mood stabilizer, then got a pdoc.
He was loving, sweet, attentive again, not seeking other women, eased up on porn, wanted to do regular day activities like bowling, going for walks.
Then 2 days before our first vacation in 4 years since we met, he gave himself a testosterone shot, couldn't get his mood stabilizer for almost a week for some reason (so he stopped taking them)- -and has been in a low depression for about 2 weeks.
Now even since he got his mood stabilizer again and he's taking it- he's still in depression - I guess because he stopped for just those 4 days it will take about 6 weeks to get stable again??
He's told me he'd stop the T shots after a few break ups ago, I think just to get me back.
But I'm so upset at him because now our dreams of the future are gone -AGAIN!! After saying he's so in love and we will have a future - now he doesn't want to be involved with me or any he says.
Why won't he stop drinking, the caffeine, the coke, the cocaine, the testosterone shots??
I've given him research that all these things don't mix well with his meds and that's why he keeps having the episodes! He also has a little girl he has to be a dad for. She stays with him a few days of the week.
So I told him out of his life and blocked him from contacting me. I need to move on. I just miss the person he can be those months when he is stable- but it never lasts