Husband only wants oral sex!

I am 34 and have been in a sexless relationship for 10 years. I have done extensive research on the matter.

What makes me laugh is the amount of irrelevant advice many women here on this forum and many of the girlfriends in my life and have all given to me - they have no idea!

You see the sex problem does not lie with me in this case. I am a normal women with a healthy libido and I am heterosexual. I like men and I enjoy sex.

My husband, and it sounds like many of your husbands obviously have emotional issues and they may even have abhorrent fetishes or be bi or gay.

Have you noticed then real men posting on this forum themselves admitting their main aim is to please a woman and how strange they find it that a man would not want to do that?

Women please stop giving ridiculous advice to ride him like a cowgirl in the morning.

My husband would would push me away and make me feel worthless if I did such a thing, if you haven’t been in such a situation you have NO IDEA of what you are dealing with.

What I have been through, made to feel ugly, given every excuse under the sun for not having sex, I went through a stage where I was begging and crying for it. Yet I have had so many men chase me over the years, I am attractive and they let me know it. For so long I remained confused until I realised it’s not me it’s him!

The other reality here is that this a form of abuse. Sex is power and they want to co tell you. If they really cares about you they would do something.

I made him attend couples sex therapy with me which was a waste of time he said nothing he shut his mouth for the few sessions we went. Then said he would try, got me pregnant after two times that we did have sex and never wanted to touch me again.

My only issue for leaving is the family unit and breaking it up.

A sexless marriage is defined as sex less than twelve times a year. Yes that’s scary.

The other truth is he could be gay. Do the research. Many men pretend for their own insecurities that they are into women and marry when it is a complete lie.

The other piece of advice I have is do research into masculine and feminine energy. I found I was the masculine energy and hence why he as behaving like a feminised male to me.

The femininewoman website with D Shen and Renee wade are a good start to learn more about this.

Women reject sex not men! And this has really helped me realise that he is a narcissist and Leaving is the only option.

So in conclusion, unless you are really in love with him and he is willing to change, please realise that this situation will remain sexless, loveless and painful as you watch the couple that go by who touch and caress one another longingly.

After baby number 2, he refused to sleep with me in the bed let alone have sex! And I reached a point where I thought stuff this I will never touch him again.

You see probably once a year or every two years he would want sex (when he was absolutely blind drunk).

So the next time he did this I refused. And it was the best thing I ever did.

Because now he has no power over me. As a high value woman I don’t want a man who want sex from me once a year touching me he doesn’t deserve it’s not intimacy or connection because he is just taking he can’t be with me and exchange needs.

So now he tells me that I am holding sex from him and he will never try again! Manipulation ladies I have just woken up. And we will split soon.

The problem doesn’t lie with you it’s with them. They won’t change. Do something about it, or you will be a lonely geriatric who has given yourself to an unworthy degenerate.

You are spot on.
You should sign up so we will feel like we know you when we reply.

Thanks Njoynlife! I should, I probably should start coaching women in this area as it is probably rife. It took me so long to wake up because I bought I was dealing with a real normal man! But when you realise they have psychological and gender issues you aren’t. For me the it also took so long to realise given it is so embarrassing to talk about and shameful. Here’s to learning from life’s mistakes and living life ♥️

Welcome to the site. We have some good people here plus a lot of pretenders I guess would be the polite word. It's a real pleasure to be able to help someone who needs answers but you always hope they are able to sift out the real help from the dumb answers.

Beginning in high school I used to wonder why so many guys only thought of their own pleasure when with a girl. Statements like "I'd like to slam it into her" were very common while I didn't agree with that at all. I wanted a girl who wanted me as much as I wanted her or having sex with her held no attraction for me. It seemed that most guys were either talking for show or simply never learned they should please a girl.

When I got married I found as soon as my glans got into it's happy place it exploded so I had to get it to do that once before diving in to be able to last longer. I had a previous girl whom I couldn't take any chance of impregnating so my face spent a lot of time in the happy place. So I tried that on my wife and discovered that when she came I would also come in response to her without being inside or even touching my penis. That became my method of exploding before going in and it worked great. I also loved doing her that way and there was no better feeling for me than making her come. It's too bad they can't teach guys that somehow. I wish we had some decent sex ed in school.

For sure, sex is intimate and connected with both people involved otherwise it’s lame and undesirable. It’s great to get a guy’s perspective thanks for sharing.

Been married 3 yrs and my husband has never climaxed with intercourse. He only prefers blow jobs. We Rarely have sex (maybe 2 or 3 times a year). He says he is too tired for sex and if I want it to just jump on and ride it. If he asleep...that’s even better. I tried once and he woke up a bit and told me to get off him..he was only wanting a blow job...not sex. Guess it didn’t work for me. Oh well..I’ll just have to be happy with 2, hour and a half blow jobs a weekend. (He works away from home and is only home for maybe a day or day and a half. I really wish we could have normal, wild sex and even actually make love once in a while. We he does have sex with me, he is attentive and very pleasing. I’m just at a loss as to what is wrong.

There is this saying. You are what you eat This may not be the problem you as a woman have but then again it may be. I am a male that is in a marriage. My wife drank to much. Her drinking had affects on the way she tasted and smelt own there. This caused sexual interests in me. Believe me I loved the sex with her. A freak in the sheets. I didn't say anything to her. About a year or so after a sexless marriage. She came to me and asked why. I told her that she drank to much and it has made me lose interest in her. Well. She didn't stop drinking all the way but slowed it down to maybe once our twice a month. I saw this and one evening we went out and had a romantic dinner. Lets just say now we are like we use to be. Can't keep our hands off each other and the sex is amazing. .

Selfishness? Laziness? Aging? That’s my summation for my situation. He hasn’t had an erection for months. This morning he got one and immediately pushed my head down to give him oral. I tried to stop as he hasn’t pleased or satisfied my sexual deficit in months to years and I’m the only one that ever needs it. I feel completely undesirable and unwanted, alone, and rejected because he won’t touch me, much less go down on me or make love to me- or even just a quick f**k. For f**ks sake.

I am in this same situation. My husband and I have never had intercourse, ever. He immediately loses his errection the minute there is a threat of penatration. I feel like I am just too gross to have sex with, so I have lived this way for a very long time. I hate watching any kind of sex scene because I immediately have this jealous feeling. I also get bitter when I see women in public who are not traditionally beautiful with kids because they somehow managed to get a man to have sex with them and I just don't know the secret. I'm 46 now and feel like I have just missed out on this big thing everyone else enjoys. It has ruined my sense of self. My advise is to not let this continue for as long as I have because it just gets harder. I don't leave because at my age, and with this damage I would never ever even consider attempting to try and have sex with anyone else. I could not handle the embarrassment if that new person had the same reaction.

To Sad
I’m in same boat. ❤️

To Sad
I’m in same boat. ❤️

I feel your pain and your tears: My husband continually complains that he is not getting any. I am willing and available to have sex. But he doesn’t want sex he just wants blow jobs. Specifically throat pie ones like the porn movies. He has never given me oral.

Today , I was on the lounge looking after our six month old daughter. Where he took his pants down and kept jamming his penis into the back of my throat so hard that I had no control and my teeth scraped his member. I tried to make him happy and sucked and sucked. But because I won’t swallow he won’t cum. So I feel like a failure and have to give up
After 25 minutes.

He always pulls his pants down and expects me to suck away on him,

I was always happy to start sex off with a blow job and end with actual sex. Like so many here, my husband never touches me. He no longer wants to have sex with me.

I feel like nothing at all and completely worthless,

I cook, clean. I am the one with the full time job. He has an Airbnb and does not work anymore.

I had HG during my pregnancy so couldn’t stomach a penis in my throat - as I couldn’t stomach any food in my throat. He resents me for this. He resents me for not giving him throat pie blow jobs.

It’s getting to the stage I just think of divorcing my husband. As I get nothing but grief from this marriage.

So I completely get it. When I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 23 he was 28 (I'm 34 now). My boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me because I was pregnant. I had heard of that happening so I still wanted to make him happy so I would do oral. After I had our daughter still no sex and when she was 4 months old my boyfriend got a great job that was traveling so, I quit my job and traveled with him. I became completely financially dependent on him and he used that to his advantage. EVERYTHING he bought me, whether it was clothes or a broom... things I wanted but didn't "need" I would have to do him "a favor" or " play my cards rite" (meaning bj) if it was over 30 bucks it was "2 favors or 3 or 4" depending on how much it was. Finally I tried to put a stop to it, told him I don't need anything I'm not doing it soooo. Turned into having to do favors for things I needed, like pads, food, diapers... I had asked him sooo many times why he wouldn't have sex with me and after 2 years he finally said, "Im traumatized from watching you give birth" .. honestly I think it just took 2 years to come up with something... Anyways after almost 3 years I went to visit my mom, ended up staying with her for 8 months and when I finally went back to my boyfriend I told him that I will never do it again, if the words,"do me a favor" or "play your cards rite" EVER COME OUT of your mouth, IM GONE!...
We've now been together 13 years, have 3 amazing kids, He's an amazing dad but unfortunately since we finally started having sex 9 years ago it is HIS WAY and his way only! 1 position only and all about him. Also he's been getting blowjobs from prostitutes for the last 9 years.. The man watches so much bj porn its CRAZY.. I've excepted that this is my life, I love um but OMG some missionary sex!!!!??? I can only dream lol

Now I know as a grown MAN he is going down and doing everything else possible. I am 50 and I love everything about sex and my wife tells me I need to go to a doctor to slow down because I should not be this sexual at this age. However I would not change my sexual being for nothing. Try dressing up in an outfit for him. When you give him a Blow job next time go until he goes twice…. It will make him start to think I better get my game up.

I want a wife that just want oral sex and toys