Mothers who leave their children

gurlfriend, your an inspiration! Thank you! I was contemplating in leaving cause my husband is verbally abusive towards me and leave our two kids with him. He's established and provides well. Never will I think like that again. My freedom towards happiness isn't as important as my kids are. I'll just endure until they are bigger.

As a mother who gave her children to there father for the summer break. Ages 4 and 16 months. Got pregrant with a married man. Had the child. Waited for ex husband to return children. Went to look for my children who were in another state. Was unable to locate children for years because ex was always moving. Ex was an convicted murderer on parole on the run with kids. Using them to make himself look respectable. Find my kids 16 years later and the whole time he had them told them I didnt want them. They have been brainwash by their father. I searched for my children for years, till i found them because a mothers love is forever.

Please understand that your environment is creating a lot of depression for you. In times like these we shouldn't trust our emotions, they will deceive us. I hope that you will see a doctor and possibly get on some meds to get you through this time. I left my children 31 years ago, it is something I will never get over. Never. Please please seek help. Don't leave him. For him but even moreso for you. I promise.  This post was actually for a comment a few comments up so sorry if it  doesn't make sense for the most recent comments. 

u can get granparent rights and get the children

I was abandoned by my mother at 10yrs Old. I don't know my biological father and my mom had a child from another man (I love my brother) I've been through this. She said she couldn't handle me so my uncle took me in. Now 30yrs later I am married with 3 children of my own (17,11,6) all girls. My wife for 12.5 years was a great mom and. A good wife. Then suddenly she would leave for a day or so and I'd be wondering why, the amount of absences became more and longer. Over the last 4 months she has taken money from us and then left for 8 days at a time. She comes home when she needs something and swears she's not messing around or doing drugs. She will say she is going to work and we never know when we will see her again. She is staying somewhere but won't "move out". I don't want a divorce because I love her but I can't let her keep getting my kids hopes up like this. No feel sad, I can only Imagine how they must feel. My 11yr old seems depressed. Why would a mom just ditch her kids like that ??! I want answers but I'm sure ill never get them. I've offered to help her either way if she just tells me what her problem is. She says she isn't doing anything wrong. Everyone else thinks she is. Can't prove it. Great mom for a long time and ten just one day did a 180 turn. She's like a stranger now. Mid life crisis? I don't know what it is but it doesn't make sense....... Any suggestions? If she is cheating on me than I will leave her , If its drugs I'm willing to help her. But I need answers. My younger daughters always wonder where she is and when she is coming back and I never know what to tell them. Sometimes it's 1-2 days other times its 7-8 days. What do you think is happening here? Any advice ????

My boyfriend's wife of ten years left him and his children (then ages 3, 4 and 5) two years ago. She had been cheating on him for years, and finally moved 1,000 miles away move in with, and then marry, another man. Their oldest child is adopted. I recently met his children for the first time. The day after she met me, his oldest child told me, "Mommy moved away because she was sick of us." Needless to say, I don't have much use for my boyfriend's ex-wife, because I think what she did to him and to her children was terrible. But of course I would never say anything negative about her to, or in front of, her children. Shocked that her daughter said this to me (a relative stranger she had literally only known for 24 hours), I said, "I'm sure she wasn't sick of you." She said, "She was sick of the mess." I relayed this information to my boyfriend, who later confirmed with his daughter that her mother had told her that she moved out of the house because the house was too messy for her. The little girl has clearly been blaming herself and her siblings for making the mess that drove Mommy away. Their house is disorganized - my boyfriend works full-time, strange hours, and it's difficult to keep ahead of three small children even when you're home full-time. So his daughter, I believe, also blames him for not getting rid of the mess enough for Mommy to come home. My boyfriend's ex left him and his children because her life was not what she wanted it to be. She is a habitual marijuana user, drinks heavily and is a chronic and prolific cheater. She would spend her days in the house high and/or drunk, and/or passed out on the couch. She doesn't want to be a wife and mother; she merely wants someone to be legally required to take care of her so she doesn't have to have a job or any responsibilities. So she left my boyfriend and her children to marry a guy she barely knew, and now she lives 1,000 miles away from her children and sees them every other month when she comes to visit them. The kids are angry and confused. They don't know how to handle what their mother has done. They blame themselves, and each other, and my boyfriend. They're good kids, very nice kids, but they feel abandoned and unloved by their mother. His oldest, the only girl and the only adopted child (she is aware that she is adopted), seems to be having the roughest time with it. I feel really bad for them - their world was broken apart, through no fault of their own, and their mother doesn't seem to care. They are fortunate to have a wonderful and loving father who would literally lay down his life for them. His parents are amazing. Their maternal aunt is also very involved in their lives. But I have no respect for their mother. She walked out on the three people whose lives depend on her and their father, and she never looked back. She doesn't seem to understand how they can be angry with her (an emotion they do occasionally express by refusing to speak with her on the phone if she calls them), and she breaks down sobbing on the phone when they won't speak with her. She's absolutely worthless, and to be honest, they're definitely better off without her, but they're too young to understand that. All they have from her is their anger and pain.

Beautifully said. Break the chain!

Beautifully said! Let the apple roll far away and break the chain.

yh my mum and dad gave me to my grandparents forgive and forget mancan u read my post

My step daughter's mom gave all 4 of her kids to CPS over 5 years ago when she was 6 yrs old. It's only been with in the last 2-3 months that my step daughter talks to her on a regular basis. My stepdaughter tells me that her mom said that she would have to wait until she turns 18 to go back. She is 13 now. She loves her mom, I don't doubt that. My concern is that maybe my stepdaughter doesn't realize that her mom can't take care of her & in my opinion, not trying to do the things she needs to get custody back. It hurts my heart to see that this child only sees "Mommy" and I don't understand why she has NEVER been upset with her mom in the fact that she disappeared for over a year without one phone call. Has not physically seen her in 5 years. Am I wrong to think that at some point she should be upset, or is it normal to just continue as if nothing bad happened? 

Hi I am a father of 5 wonderfull children aged from 3 - 12 recently my wife of ten years has informed me that she no longer loved me and has not done for over6 years. Recently she has been chatting and meeting younger men from the Internet in the past 2 weeks she has not spent a hour a day with the children instead she sits in her room on her phone. I get the kids up and ready for school every morning do their packed lunches and take them to school I then go to work I finish early and go collect them bring them home and do dinner whilst this is cooking I clean and tidy. My wife will then go out not speaking to any of the children it breaks my heart as the children are pining for their mother but she wants nothing to do with them. My eldest daughter recently called her mother a slag as she was walking out the door rather than questioning her she turned round slapped her round the face and walked out. I am doing my upmost to try and keep this family together every day I tell the kids that they should respect and love their mum but how can they when they are bring treated like this things are hard for me once the children are in bed I sit and cry I don't mind admitting it I am struggling with no family around to help I'm finding things hard but I keep going for the sake of them I love them so dearly has any one got any ideas on how I keep going. Thank you

My mother didn't exactly abandon me, but after having a rough time with my older sister she told me that was tired and had "given up on me" when I was 13 years old. She was at her boyfriends a lot and I basically took care of myself. She had anger problems and she would cry a lot when she was around. It really messed me up. I was suicidal most of my teen years and amazingly made it through. I hated my mom and I thought she hated me. As I got older, I started to see things from her point of view. How she treated me was ABSOLUTELY not okay. However, I can see now that she had a hard life and she never learned how to cope  with things. She didn't act like that because she didn't love me or because there was something wrong with me. There was something wrong with HER. Growing up like that really has scarred me, but I have forgiven her and we get along pretty well now. I have accepted that she is who she is and that is has NOTHING to do with me. I realize that many people's mothers have probably behaved much worse than mine and I understand if you have trouble forgiving your mom, but just try to see things from her point of view. Lastly, REMEMBER YOU ARE SPECIAL AND IMPORTANT!  

Your circumstances touch my heart, I can relate to many of them. I'm sorry to hear that you have no family around to help, same as me 30 years ago. Since I'm on this website, you may correctly surmise that I'm still a little obsessed with the subject of mothers who leave their children, have given it a lot of thought, and have an observation or two for your consideration.First, a comment about values. I believe that family, and in particular the best possible raising of your children, is more important than anything else in the world, period. If you believe this, then you should have a desire to teach this value to your children. Understand that your actions at this time will teach them more about proper values and what is right or wrong than all of the talking you would ever be able to do. So whatever you do, make sure that your actions teach the values you believe in to your children.  Nothing is more important.And this means regardless of the consequences for your wife. That's where I'm coming from. You may need to mentally and emotionally detach yourself from her.  (Easily said, I know, but there it is.  Buddhists have a great deal to teach regarding detachment....).  It's OK to care about her and want good things for her. And to try to make things better in any way that you reasonably can. But you must accept the fact that things may not turn out as you would hope for either your wife or your marriage. That is obvious and it is important that you accept it and not determine to prevent it by any means possible. You want to put yourself in a position that, if this happens, you will feel that you've done all you REASONABLY could have to prevent it. At the same time be mentally ready for it. It may not be within your ability or control to prevent.Mainly though, think long and hard  before you act about what these actions will be teaching your kids about priorities and what is right in life. That is the prime directive for you right now. I wish I had done this.Good luck and God bless.

I am a single mother of a 7 year old daughter. Many many times its felt so hard emotionally and mentally doing this job. I have wanted to leave countless times and hv even planned it. But when I look into my daughter's face and see her trusting little eyes I cannot imagine letting her down in such a way. Even though I feel like she deserves better than me I know that no one in this whole world can love her the way I do. My parents help me a lot and I feel lime maybe she would be better with them but the truth is she's fine with me. In fact I think I need her just as much if not more than she needs me. Even though at times I would love to.escape the load I.carry raising my lil girl alone I can't imagine what I would do without her. I guess my love and devotion to her overrides my fear of being a bad parent. As long as I am constantly checking myself I know I.am doing my best. I can see how some women might just want leave but if they truly.loved their babies it would be impossible. i love my daughter more than myself so her needs surpass my own emotions or feelings. 

I am a single mother of a 7 year old daughter. Many many times its felt so hard emotionally and mentally doing this job. I have wanted to leave countless times and hv even planned it. But when I look into my daughter's face and see her trusting little eyes I cannot imagine letting her down in such a way. Even though I feel like she deserves better than me I know that no one in this whole world can love her the way I do. My parents help me a lot and I feel lime maybe she would be better with them but the truth is she's fine with me. In fact I think I need her just as much if not more than she needs me. Even though at times I would love to.escape the load I.carry raising my lil girl alone I can't imagine what I would do without her. I guess my love and devotion to her overrides my fear of being a bad parent. As long as I am constantly checking myself I know I.am doing my best.