Abortion regret 'lasts for years'

Your story is a spitting imagine of mine . The only difference is I was with two men around the same time. One was an ex I went back and forth to that was emotional abuse and epic drug parties and the ther was a narrow guy I broke his heart . I found myself in this predicament because I couldn't let go of my drug filled past . By the time I found of I was pregnant he already had another girl friend. Today marks four months ago today my child would of been in this world . To this day I feel guilt . The pain does not get easier and it's hard to separate emotions from reality . I tried to make the best decision considering . I've just started my job 2 weeks prior and the way my life was. My life was drugs and drinking all the time , I would even go to work half in the bag . I didn't know if my stress over the past weeks , drug use or alcohol use would harm my child or the stress chancing a miscarriage . I knew I couldn't provide a stable life and or environment renting a room , no credit , no savings and no family. No hours accumulated for mat leave. I wouldn't never want to bring a child into this world make them suffer because I could not provide . Living my child hood all over again being the mother . But again I never though I could have children so that's why it hit me hard . Reality wise at the time in my life I think I made the right decision but emotionally I feel like I can never forgive myself . I wanted to leave before the procedure and till this day I go back and forth on if I did the right thing. If I just took the easy way out . I also see how much I have grown since . I do not act like a child and am an adult now. I no longer see that gentlemen and I've let it go of it . I have quit doing all drugs and rarely drink. I am furthering my education and have a better hold on debt. I have made new friends that I strongly consider family and are always there for me. A very strong support system . I also know that if I was presented with this again I wouldn't not take the same path . Regardless of my situation the only thing I could hope for would be to be in a meaningful relationship with someone that is as happy about it as much as I would be. In the storms we create ourselves we still have to look for light even though you can't see that much . There's Ian always some you just have to look. I know where I stood as you do now I know how's you feel and where your coming from . It will not get easier for sometime but acknowledged you were not ready and ultimately you made the best decision . You have most likely grown such as myself and the person you are today's reflects no where's near who you were then. You need to accept the decision and move forward such as myself . I know it's hard but you can tell ruin the remainder of your life with regret . Picture the day when someone really loves you and treats you how you should sharing that with them . Not worrying if you harmed your baby by drugs and alcohol. Taking today and moving forward to working towards making your life better and preparing yourself for a future family . You can get through this just like me some days will be worse and some days will better but you are worth the future you want ! I believe in you, stay strong , thanks for letting me share and discuss this for the first time you've helped me without even knowing it .

As time passes does it get easier

We all make mistakes and decisions in life we can't change once done x life is not easy and we do things we think we have to at the time x

Thats so true im sitting here 9 years to the day of my horrible decison i made well not my "decison"was my partners but i felt cohurst into it. Not a day goes by that i dont think about my baby girl and i know it was a girl as stupid as it seems to people she comes to me in my dreams i will love her forever and the guilt i carry daily that she was denied a chance to meet me will haunt me forever but i take comfort that she is being looked after by my grandparents until we meet again

Hi,

I'm am considering abortion, although the thought terrifies and saddens me. After reading your post, I feel like I should stick to my guns and allow my beautiful child to come into the world. I just found out the baby's father got engaged to another woman, 2 weeks after I broke my pregnancy news to him.

Anyway, I'm 27, and have to get my s**t together fast. I believe I can do this, and that Gods good plan will prevail. Even through this seeming 'disaster'.
Pray for me, and thank you :)

Hi. I read your article and I just went threw one abortion a week ago . I was 10 weeks and 2 days. I'm 25 years old. I wish I could take it back or read your article. I feel so so very guilty. You are right women do need to know from other women. I wish I would of read this before I done it. God please please forgive me.

I am praying for you and your sweet baby! I am a mom of six. They are much work but so worth it. Please, please....there is help and hope available. Don't take your baby's life.

I am feeling this way now. How are you doing?

Hi there dear

I had an abortion and I can say I cry everyday and I know I will never be okay, I just wished I never stepped into that clinic to do what I did , I wish God would have stopped me and told me no this is not good. I was 9 weeks. and I'm depressed and hurt. the guy didn't want it and I have three kids but different father's and I wish I never went to that clinic. I regret it everyday of my life. the guy that I was sewing and got me pregnant didn't even care about what happened to me at all. he is just a selfish individual and now I know I have to talk to someone cuz it's hard to cope with this.

Please do THINK TWICE before taking action. Think it over, sleep on it.
I took abortion when I was 18. It was my first boy and we did unprotected sex. That day I got pregnant I had a strange feeling. When I finally discovered the pregnancy, I was scared to talk to my friend or family about it. My boy tried to persuade me Im not pregnant. In other word, he doesn't want to face the situation. My mind wasn't clear enough to think it through. I was weak. At a time, I was feeling very unsecured, I had no way out. I gave up so easily. I didn't feel confident about myself, I judged myself a lot.
The day I finally went to clinic with my boy. The doctor insulted me and started to say bad things towards me. The moment they told me I was pregnant, I was asked to make instant decision. It happened so fast. My boy was panic too. I took the abortion with anaesthesia. No warning was given before the surgery. No medicine was given after the surgery. I got several inflammations after.
Since then I felt really terrible and regret so much about the rush decision.
I really wanted to take time and think it over, ask for help from another doctor. I was so vulnerable and scared about the change of my body, my life. Day after day, month after month, year after year, I would cry in the middle of night, heart-breaking, with regrets.The bad feeling is always there no matter what you do. You can't do anything to change the past once it's done. So please THINK TWICE.
I was depressed for 5 years, it doesn't help at all by regret the decision or re-live the feeling of remorse. Or imagine when you could deliver the babe or how old would he or she be.
Accepting the fact you were in great pain, and it doesn't make you any less than other girl. Treating yourself like sh*t and continuing blaming yourself will.
The moment I realized that I do love the feeling of being pregnant, and one day I want to deliver a healthy babe with a supportive partner, to make a healthy family. 1 bad choice in the past doesn't shut down your future. By not letting yourself in the same situation EVER, or willing to sacrifice everything for your next child is the best answer and best cure for yourself.

Marina

I have regretted an abortion for 46 years. Not a day goes by I don’t think of it. My mother more or less forced me and told me my family would not help me except to abort. I still get depressed, feeling it was wrong and wondering what my child would have been like.

I just had an abortion 3 months ago, I think about my daughter every day. That was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life. A part of me is so angry with my self because my spirit told me not to go thru with it. But out of fear and the unknown I made a very bad choice. I’ve had abortions in the past and none of them made me feel the way I felt with my last baby. She was something special …I just wish I could go back in time and change my decision. One thing about having an abortion is people fail to realize how it will effect you in the future. The clinics don’t tell you about the pain and grief you may experience or even the psychological effects that can occur after you have an abortion. I understand some women don’t feel the same way I do, but for those that do just know that you are not alone. After going through this experience I know I will NEVER do it again. Sometimes I feel like society makes us believe terminating a pregnancy is simple quick and easy.. but that couldn’t be further from the truth. There should be more support for woman after they go this traumatic experience. It’s not easy dealing with the feelings of guilt and shame. I pray every day that God allow me another chance to carry my baby. Doing some research I found out that every time you conceive a child - their cellular dna stays with you in your body until you die. It makes since because this is how God knows what child belongs to who… so even after you terminate, there’s still an molecular aspect happing that we are not often aware of. And I do believe you will meet the children you carried in the afterlife. I’m glad I found this post because lately my thoughts have been heavy about my baby. Her father is a great guy but like others he wasn’t financially stable and the pregnancy was unplanned. We weren’t even dating at the time (we are now) so I really regret not thinking it through. I was about 3 months along and I felt like time was running out so I just went ahead and did it. ( if you ever feel like you don’t know what to do.. pray, meditate and listen to your intuition.) If I’d listened to mines, my baby girl would be on her way here. Sending peace and blessings to everyone on this post.

I'm 32 and had an abortion when I was 19. I was unstable, my life was unstable, and my boyfriend was not supportive. I remember texting him in the parking lot at my job, which was "beer tub girl", that maybe we could just put the baby up for adoption. He said no and that if I had the baby, he would move back to Colombia and I'd never hear from him again. This really scared me because I loved him so much I didn't want to lose him, so I made the decision to abort the baby.

Recently I have begun to really regret it. Over the years I know I have said in private to friends that I don't think abortion should be legal, but I didn't really feel the weight of the decision I had made. But now I do feel the weight that I killed my unborn baby. And I wish he or she were here. It was a horrible decision and I wish I weren't allowed to make it. I wish that I had been REALLY told about my other options, that someone had stopped to really talk to me about the decision I was making and the pressure I was feeling to make that particular decision. I really feel like I was being pushed into having an abortion. 

It was very early in the pregnancy, 6 weeks, and I did check the box on the form that I wanted to hear the heartbeat. They said I couldn't hear the heartbeat. And I wonder, if I had, would I have said "STOP"? And why couldn't they hear the heartbeat, or could they but they didn't feel like doing it? If the heartbeat bill is all about the 6 week mark... why couldn't I hear the heartbeat? I wanted to. And I wish I'd had my baby, even if I had to put it up for adoption. It was a huge mistake. 

I'm not conservative and considered myself to be liberal for a long while, but abortion shouldn't be legal and women should be supported through their pregnancies. Obviously life starts at conception, why wouldn't it? Biologists all agree on this fact, it doesn't have to be religious. Life starts when the sperm and egg come together, when you and another person combine into a new human being. Obviously that is life, and it should be protected no matter the circumstances.

Congrats on your decision, did you have a big or a girl?