Congratulations on leaving.That must have been the hardest decision of your life I can't imagine. My boyfriend is a gamer and he spends all his time as well. It's very frustrating trying to get your partner to spend time with you, when you stop and think about it I feel like a m***n like I'm begging a man to spend time with me. I stopped asking him and now I just go and if he wants to he will. We have tried counseling and so far it works sometimes. I have promised myself that if it doesn't improve I will leave I mean it sounds so crazy when you say it aloud my boyfriend is a gamer. If only they put that time into their families we would be the one's needing the brake. Good luck
RUN!!!!! While you still have your youth and beauty. Ive been married to mine way to long and at first it was PONG then COMPUTER games then PS1, PS2, PS3 and NOW XBOX, RUN, DONT LOOK BACK!! I always thought he was going to outgrow it, well he didnt. Now Im just that old crazy CAT lady down the street, its to late for me, but not for you RUN!!!!! My grandmother once said, "we as a women have to decide what kind of VICE were willing to put up with if we want to married to a man" Well grannie dear, this sucks! Id rather be alone and my BOB gives me everything I need. Ladies, my honey is 50 years old, THEY DO NOT OUT GROW THIS sh*t!! If your a newly wed and young RUN while YOU can!!!!!!
i tried to leave my husband right before x-mas due to his gaming. i talked to him and told him what my needs where and why he needs to meet them and focus on our relationship (also get a job). he agreed..or so i thought. the next day i saw him writing to a friend saying i was over reacting and how he will take things away from me, and not let me spend a dime! seeing as how im the only one that makes the money, this did not go over well for him. we happened to be at his parents house alone, when this all happened ( i was baking cookies for extra money, he was doing nothing like usual...btw i felt terrible for making money off his parents) . i told him i was done, unless he could figure a way to make things right for us both! he didn't say a word, so i left. later on that day, he found me and we talked once again. a couple of days went by and life was good, i felt like a newlywed. but now as i sit here, im angry once again because the last 19 days of my life have been spent pretty much pissed that he is still dedicated to his game!!!! i just don't understand it.
My husband is addicted to online games and I am leaving him tomorrow. A good thing, is that he works..but he will get up, play his game, work, come home, play his game, and sleep. That is all he does. He will NOT spend time with me or his child for more than a few times a month. IF THAT! Even out own anniversary and my birthday was spent on his game. He played a little before marriage..but I had no clue how bad it was until after I said "I do". I bend over backwards for him and he won't even take out the trash! I work, am 37, and he is 38. We sleep in separate rooms, he chooses games over sex and family time, and I am walking out after two years of marriage before I throw away one more day with him. I warned him that, if in the month it takes me to save to leave state...he does not change, I am leaving with my end of the month paycheck. As I am packing and getting ready to leave tomorrow..he is playing his game now. He is also physically and emotionally abusive. NO MORE BS...I AM GONE.
A lot of you ladies are enabling your spouses to remain addicted. Complaining, nagging, crying, feeling bad, dressing up, undressing, being nice, not being nice -- none of this will make your spouse "wake up". When someone is addicted there is only one thing to do...
Get out. Get away. Run.
Build your own life. Do not let his addiction control both his world and yours.
If your spouse hits the bottom and his eyes are opened then he might change. He also might choose to live the rest of his life as a stunted adolescent. But he's never going to hit bottom with you around. Your presence (even if all you do is yell at him) is soothing him, assuring him that he still has at least one connection to the real world, giving him just enough life juice to continue his madness.
Ask yourself this - why is he staying with you? If the answer is so he can eat and stay connected to the internet - well there you go.
You wanna have the best shot at saving your husband, your marriage and keeping your family together?
Then do not enable.
Be brave.
The best thing you can do for your addicted spouse is leave them to their own devices. An ironic pun!
They will spiral down and hit bottom -- find some other enabler or wake up. Either way, you are saved from a lifetime of diseased horror.
Run, chickie - RUN!
Is game addiction real? It is all too real.
MRI studies have shown male brains respond to the reward system built into games more than female brains. If it weren't for games your spouse could really make something out of life. He's got a good reaction to rewards - could be a millionaire, an inventor, a go getter. Fire in the belly. Too bad for fake rewards in game world keeping him from getting real rewards here on planet Earth.
First of all f**k him if he puts his hands on you, u put that ass in jail. Don't let any man put his hands on u. I fight back I swear I have fist fought men how dare he especially with a child. If u have trouble leaving don't be afraid to call the cops they will help. Sometimes men snap when u leave. Isn't it stupid grown men playing video games like children. U are a brave women it's so hard to walk away with a child so give yourself credit and also it may not seem it but u will feel better it just takes awhile to get use to it. It's like being alone anyway how long they play these games.
I totally get what your saying it's like the boy who cried wolf. Unfortunately sometimes it's not so easy to leave. It takes courage especially if there are children. How do you not become consumed women love whole heartily so to us we always think we can change someone. Eventually if nothing changes we do leave, this is why they have these forums so we can reach out to others who are going through it. We are eternal creatures so it's not that easy but I can tell u that once a women does leave we never look back so too bad for the man because a woman is very strong and we always bounce back on our feet.
Honestly he probably does adore you it's just the game is more important they are somebody on that stupid sh*t. It's so sad because if they invested that time wisely in real life they would be someone more than a fantasy. My boyfriend has only filled out one job application so I do know that stress. You now know that he is not willing to give it up so leave you honestly know it's time. You left him and he begged u back only to start the fantasy a couple day's later. What more proof do u need. It's wicked hard I totally get that because I love relationships I hate being alone but I don't want a relationship where I'm ignored all day.What is it about our generation of men they don't work there parent's still do everything for them this is why we all enable them and make it to easy.
I have been married for almost 15years, I am 35 and have 4 kids, 13 - 4 yrs. and my husband is addicted to computer games. There have been so many over the years. Now it is SWTOR. I have tried to play with him over the years, it leads to nothing. He likes that I work in the evenings. He gets to play as much as he wants. If he doesn't play for a few days, he thinks it is a "long time". I am seriously considering divorce. I just don't want to spend my life with someone like him and he is teaching my children to be the same way. Well, our children. I don't know why I feel like I have to validate myself, but I am worried for the kids. Is it better to stay " for their sake" or if I feel his influence is damaging, would they be better off. This is the golden question...
I guess you're not with the same boat as others. Your husband is putting his butt in front of PC for hours because of WORK but their husbands are just for a GAME! That makes a lot of difference! You should have think first before you judged them. The h**k!
Oh no please don't have a child with a man who is a gamer you won't regret your child but you will be bitter. They do not change just read the forum's of all the women who have children with these men they don't change. Can you imagine working all day coming home to a messy house kids screaming and a grown man playing video games and not helping I promise that's what it will be. Honestly there children themselves so really think about that before you become pregnant.
Let me guess you must be a gamer yourself to right that. Are you crazy, no offense maybe you men should think about being in a relationship because how dare you think that playing a video game all day is acceptable. Women love to talk and be acknowledged and if you men are not willing to give us that then you should be alone that way you won't have some one nagging you all day to spend time you can put all that energy into your game.