Do you ever get over sexual abuse?

  When I was sexually abused it was by my cousin who was also a kid. When it started I was 3-4 years of age and he was 9 years old. On his side of the family I was the only girl cousin. As time went by it started to get worse every time our family had get together s. Finally when the abuse stopped was when I was 11 I just hid from him. For years I felt dirty, black inside. A part of me hates him for what he did. my most precious memory was when I was 3 on the beach with mom and dad before the abuse started. Growing up I felt like I was older than my peers just because I knew things most 4 year old don't know about.  :-( . I was able to talk to my friend and her mom about the abuse. Her mom told me to tell my parents and to do it as quick as possible. Turns out this woman was also sexually abused by her dad and brother. It was easier to talk to her than to anyone else. I did take her advise and told my parents. It was so hard for 14 years not telling and than finally telling them. I had gone to theropy but she wanted me to tell her all the details. When I started to tell her my throat constricted and I started to cry and get angry at the same time thinking "why why is it so fkn hard" I mean after telling her It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders but still. I know that everyone on this site has seen this answer to your question but it is true NO ONE that has been sexually abuse can just get over what happened.

   I want to have children one day but Its soooooo hard for me to get with a guy and not think he is going to hurt me. I have serious trust issues when it comes to guys. :'( So What I want to ask is will I ever have a family of my own?

it all depends on the age, i was rape at 2, i dont recall any of it, i have heard the family tell me what happen and everything, i have a scar from the event, i am not able to have kids unless i go to a specialist, i have known since i was 12 and im 26 now it doesnt faze me at all, im not depress, or anger, something happen i couldnt help myself at that time, i know the person name, i can search for him, i dont want to find him, hes stupid for what he did, his day will come and he will have to be judge on it, im not going to grow up wasting time worring or thinking about something i had no control over, so it all depends on whats the age of being raped

I was sexually abused by my own brother when I was around 5 or 6 years old.. That went on for a couple of years. I've always surpressed any memory of it and at some point I thought it was just a dream.. not a memory. Until I was faced with a situation that I had to confront my parents about it and was shocked to know that they knew all along. It's one thing to think it happened to you and it's a totally different feeling once it's confirmed. My parents said they brought him to a priest or something, had someone pray over him. Well personally that is just BS. They even asked me if I could just forgive him. 

I'm 19 now and I haven't gotten over it. The consequences are well.. I'm very secretive, I tend to shut people out (especially my family). I mean I have to be here and pretend to be okay with this whole thing. I tend to think low of myself. Well of course, suicidal tendencies are unavoidable. Seems like when there's something bad that happens to me.. I feel the pain more than I should.. I guess because the pain all boils down to what happened to me when I was kid. But the thing I'm good at is acting. I'm pretty good, showing everyone that I'm this happy girl that has no problem in the world. I saw this quote before that the person who laughs, smiles and cheers everyone up are usually those who feel alone and depressed. Yes, I'm damaged goods. 

 

So yeah no, you can never get over it, although you can learn to live with it. Learn, live or runaway from it, it's up to you. You just gotta be strong enough to get and take care of yourself.

Thank you :) I will take your advice.. I will see if I can get a therapist.. (was sexually abused when I was 5 till 8 years old).. I hope I can find my self worth at some point

I feel your pain.. I was sexually abused by my own brother who is about 10 years older than I am. I hid it for so long, only in high school wherein I had to talk to my parents. And to my surprise they knew about it all along. They just brought him to a priest and stuff, expecting that that's the end of it. But I remember clearly,. a day when he told to stop telling my parents. Meaning he never stopped. Until now I'm so mad at my parents. I want him to go to jail, or get punished, or whatever.



I just feel so alone, but then I tell myself everyday that someday you're going to get through this.

I'm no doctor but I think you need some sort of closure. It's not too late to report it to the authorities. The old statutes of limitations have been lifted in most states for this type of crime and you can report it a long time after it happened.

Hi Forever

I was sexually abused for 2 years from 9-11 but with a mental age of a 3-4-6 year old cause of a TBI, servere head injury. I can't live with it or runaway from it. I'm no longer strong any more. I am just a failure. I can't do anything.

I wish I could do things that would lighten up my day. For my family I always have a pretend happy face on and if I don't my mother will say "who got out of the wrong side of bed this morning" . So I just want to get out of my head all this c**p that is in it. I don't know how to do it and I've been trying for over 20 years now. As I'm 33 and I don't know what more I can do.

Sorry I was slow in replying but I was failing yet another thing that I was trying to accomplish.

I hope u can learn, live or runaway from it and be happy.

Take Care

Shelley

Honey, you cant do this alone!! If you believe in God and trust in him, then pray! Pour out your heart to him! And ask him to help you to forgive this relative. It's going to be alright! Tell your parents as well! Ask the Lord to give them an listening ear and a receptive heart! You have to let them know!! You are not alone in this! You can also go for counseling. I was molested by my foster parent at 5 months and mental I struggled for years not knowing why til I was told what happened to me!! But know that you are a survivor!!! You are victorious in Jesus name!! You will have the love and relationship you deserve and need!! And you will be a help to other women even men who were abused in the same manner!! God bless you!!!

I was only in kindergarten when it started happening to me. My much older cousin and sister would both sexually abuse me. This went on for many years and i never told my parents. Im now in 8th grade and it is still haunting me at all times. It's a challenge to keep it together all the time, day after day but i've learned to just keep that inside of me. i have been scared that if people started to find out what had happened to me, then they would treat me differently. From the outside i look like a typical teenage girl but if anyone can ever really look inside of me they would realize how damiged i am. I have created walls to keep anyone from ever being able to see that far. Sexual abuse is no laughing matter even though some make jokes about it. No one really knows the effects until it has happened to them. i hope that maybe one day all of you will be able to move on and leave all of this in the past but unfortunately i know that that is not possible for me. This will always nag at me for the rest of my life. 

In my case, no i have never gotton over it. It happened when i was in elemantary school and im now in college but it still is a constant burden to me. No one else knows about this and i dont think that they can tell that anything is really going on with me. Over the years i learned how to "fake" a smile and push everything deep inside. people say i am a pro at being able to fake cry when in reality i am crying for real. it is a never ending battle inside me to keep myself from doing that but sometimes it just all has to come pouring out. if you were abused then you should really find someone to talk about this with like a best friend or family member. learn from my mistake of not telling anyone because if you dont then you have to keep everything inside to boil up and at random times just come spilling out. sorry for this being a bit late, i dont know if you still are looking for answers. 

Hi I feel so much hurt and pain in reading these post I have a page on facebook (Surviving Child Abuse One Day At A Time) It is to promote healing to get our voices out there that we will not Tolerate Child Abuse please look up and page and like it. It offers tips on how to protect our children, Poems and emotional Support.  Please lets heal to help others heal

Hi I feel so much hurt and pain in reading these post I have a page on facebook (Surviving Child Abuse One Day At A Time) It is to promote healing to get our voices out there that we will not Tolerate Child Abuse please look up and page and like it. It offers tips on how to protect our children, Poems and emotional Support.

Hun you have to let someone know go to the police. It doesn't matter that it was you're sister she has hurt you and you are in terrible pain. You also have to get your cousin in prison as well. You can't keep it bottled up inside you have to let someone know like the police or your teachers and I know I looked like a typical teenage girl altho I was bullied at school I always had a smile on my face it was a way of covering up all the pain that was inside of me and yes I got councelling when I was 12 to my current age of 33. I am still not over the sexual abuse but I have had a serious head injury b4 the abuse happened so that is what has compounded me immensely. You have to tell your teachers or your school councillor what is going on you can't keep it hidden for the rest of your life otherwise its just going to destroy you and you won't be able to heal. You HAVE to tell someone ASAP you can't keep it bottled up inside of you otherwise you won't ever get any release from it. You know your sister was probably abused by the same cousin because she wouldn't have just done it to you something must've upset her to make her hurt you like she did so I am seriously thinking that she was hurt and destroyed by someone sexually. You have to TELL SOMEONE otherwise you won't stand a chance of becoming free and also you need to get professional counselling straight away. Good luck with it all. Shelley

i was sexually, physically and emotionally abused everyday i learn something new about why i react and do the things i do....i am afraid i will never have a healthy relationship ever.....i dont think we ever live like the people who havent been abused....we only survive....i wish it were different

i had pretty much exactly the same happen to me only i didn't have the injuries, i'm now 25 and i don't trust anyone i don't socialise and my job record is terrible. I can only deal with it with music.