Hello, I have JUST found out why this happens after experience a wave of disgust wheb my nipples were touched but never putting two and two together. I always thought it was a mental thing, i must have sexual issues and thats why i feel this way. But after having a baby 4 weeks ago i found i experienced the same feeling for about 30 seconds during breastfeeding at the start of the feed before the milk lets down. I googled it and its known as D-MER and is caused by a sudden lack of dopamine in the brain which is caused by this nipple stimulation. Its completely physiological not psychological. Such a relief to finally know! Im very sure the D-MER reaction can be caused while not breastfeeding and this is what this is
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Ok ladies I think it has to do with breastfeeding babies. They are made for babies not for men maybe thats why us women can't process it or digest men touching
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I know this was written a while ago but if it helps you or another reader, I had no issues whilst breastfeeding and I'm up to my third now. My first 2 I breastfeed for a year and I'm now in my 6th month with my third. I still am unable to touch or have others touch me but I'm fine with the feeding.
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I feel your pain, and it's troublesome because when she tells me touching them turns her off suddenly one night after many years of marriage. I now think it's me that turns her off even though she says it's not, and trying to get her to speak openly and honestly, or try to find help or counseling is a non starter usually ending up in a fight. I don't know what to do. I like touching, it turns me on, I admit, so to be told no touching is like telling me no more sex. PLEASE! Someone have a solution.
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Im in the same boat. I feel extremely disgusted by my nipples being touched, like it turns my stomach. I try to let my boyfriend play with them sometimes but i cant very long before i want to vomit. I think it must have something to do with the nerves in the breast but im no doctor. Ive had childhood trauma personally and always assumed it could be that, but after reading through other posts i would have to assume it just might be nerves. Not everyone has the same sensations to some people sex isnt enjoyable (not me personally but know some people who dont feel pleasure)
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I think it has something to do with “repressed molestation memory of some kind.. ” because I can remember my brother squeezing mine really hard when I was younger. My memory is hazy if he used to play with them but this really impacts me. I didn’t want My ex rubbing them or playing with this because it feels like I’m being violated. I can’t do it myself. It actually makes me feel like I’m a victim and I hate hate hate it!! I wish I can just enjoy it like everyone else.
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I completely agree. I still have past flash backs of nipple sucks that just grosses me out!
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You are completely wrong in that fact, sorry. Breasts are NOT meant for only babies.. They are meant for men as well. Look at other animals, their "breasts" arent present until lactating.. On the other hand females of our species always have them.. Its because they are meant to attract males for reproduction.. We are wired to think that bigger breasts mean more fertile and sustainability of children. Please dont put toxic ideas out there without knowledge.
Now on to the next statement.. The "turn off" is actually a natural physical reaction.. Its over stimulation of neurons in different people... And peoples "spot" is different. Some women, its tge neck, clitoris, hips, thighs, etc.. In men it can be the same.. Mine specifically is the testicles. It over stimulates the neural pathways so suddenly and strongly that it literally causes a reaction in your entire body, which can make you uncomfortable, and if done even a millisecond too long, cause irritability and nausea. Yes, there are some cases where it is hormonal, or from traumatizing pasts.. But for the general populace this is the EXACT cause. Please, if you feel this is not the cause, see a thereapist or doctor, but dont try to diagnose everyone else off of hypotheses and assumptions, putting ideas in peoples heads like its just a disgust for male contact. Thats a psychological recipe for disaster in a relationship having that swim around in the back of a womans mind.. Because it would do the same to a guy. What if i believed that i hate sexual contact with my wife in the back of my head all the time? That would put an enormous load on my psyche and relationship.
Now on to the next statement.. The "turn off" is actually a natural physical reaction.. Its over stimulation of neurons in different people... And peoples "spot" is different. Some women, its tge neck, clitoris, hips, thighs, etc.. In men it can be the same.. Mine specifically is the testicles. It over stimulates the neural pathways so suddenly and strongly that it literally causes a reaction in your entire body, which can make you uncomfortable, and if done even a millisecond too long, cause irritability and nausea. Yes, there are some cases where it is hormonal, or from traumatizing pasts.. But for the general populace this is the EXACT cause. Please, if you feel this is not the cause, see a thereapist or doctor, but dont try to diagnose everyone else off of hypotheses and assumptions, putting ideas in peoples heads like its just a disgust for male contact. Thats a psychological recipe for disaster in a relationship having that swim around in the back of a womans mind.. Because it would do the same to a guy. What if i believed that i hate sexual contact with my wife in the back of my head all the time? That would put an enormous load on my psyche and relationship.
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First, all these men on here commenting.... alot seem to be shaming women for not enjoying this act. NO ONE has to deal with ANY touch they aren't comfortable with.
Much like most straight men wouldn't appreciate a penis stuck up his bum.....
I'm no doctor but in my opinion, the biggest reason many women hate the sensation is due to this.... after child birth the nurse comes in and "kneads" our abdomens to shrink the uterus down, it is also a big reason they recommend breast feeding, to shrink the uterus. Our nipples are most likely directly connected, nerve-wise to the uterus. So.... stimulating the nipples causes tightening and cramping in our uterus. Some women can handle it and some women are more sensitive to it.
Much like most straight men wouldn't appreciate a penis stuck up his bum.....
I'm no doctor but in my opinion, the biggest reason many women hate the sensation is due to this.... after child birth the nurse comes in and "kneads" our abdomens to shrink the uterus down, it is also a big reason they recommend breast feeding, to shrink the uterus. Our nipples are most likely directly connected, nerve-wise to the uterus. So.... stimulating the nipples causes tightening and cramping in our uterus. Some women can handle it and some women are more sensitive to it.
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I deal with the Same issue and I am to the point that I want to get them pierced through the nerve just so that I dont have to feel it. It repulses me angers me and makes me feel like I am being molested and abused by my husband who so happens to love nipples. I fear If I cant do something about it soon it will cause us to separate
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When I found this thread some time ago I felt relieved because I also have the exact same feeling that every woman describes here, and I found it really really interesting that so many of us had the idea of repressed molestation issues, even tho I don't know if this is true to me it seems like it could be. I get an awful feeling just by reading the comments, it is just horrible.
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He should show some understanding instead of making you feel even worse about it! Men cant even
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