I had mine on the 23rd of February 2012. I say the dat coz funnily enough 23 is my favorite number. So pretty much my story is, I'm 19, I was with my boyfriend (officially) for 10 months, in January and I suspected I was pregnant. You know how u just get that feeling, from the beginning I could feel my baby, which is funny to say because we actually didn't identify it as a 'baby' when I was pregnant, having a baby is frowned upon by both his family and mine (becoz my sister had a baby young and I was warned about 100x about NOT getting pregnant) and the people were surrounded by. So due to social and financial circumstances we opted for an abortion. When I found out I was pregnant I called the abortion service and scheduled it before even calling my boyfriend. It was all so fast, and I never thought I'd feel like this. I tried not to get attatched but as a woman, how can't you to your own child? We even used to say 'hey daddy/hey mommy' to eachother and my partner would look at my belly, kiss it and say 'daddy's here'... I wanted that dynamic. I just never knew it til now. I saw my baby once, in an ultrasound just before my termination, I felt like I had to sneak the look everyone was just so fast with the procedure, no one even asked if I was sure.... I wish I had a second chance... I wish I could go back.... Coz it hurts so much! Seeing kids die in movies, or babies in te street, pregnant moms everywhere, it all feels like someone is stabbing my heart, and it gets hard to breathe.
I never named it or found out the sex of my baby, and I wish to God I did. I cry and all I can get myself to say is I'm sorry, I'm not even crying to anyone!! I feel like icant turn to anyone about my grief, but it hurts so much. I'm sorry my baby. I should of given u a fighting chance, I should have protected you.
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Darling. My name is Kahlia. I am from New Zealand. I ran a google search to find woman in my situation. I feel the loss is far too much to handle. I am hoping to reach out to someone because I find that my partner is also no help. We have cried together but we never talk about the baby I destroyed. You and I deal with the loss. It's different because our children did not yet live a life so we grieve the loss of what could of been. When I had my abortion on December 10 2010 I was given a white pill to loosen the muscles. once you take that pill there is no going back. Once I took the pill I changed my mind and wanted to run as far away as I could from that hospital. When I got taken in I broke down in tears and heard one of the nurses say. "Oh god we have another cryer" They pumped me full of drugs early so I was easier to deal with. I wish so bad that I could trn back time and keep my baby... but knowing that that is beyond impossible just adds to the pain. Right now I want to cut this life to be in heaven with my angel. I feel for you as it seems like you are going through the same thing. It is the hardest thing and us girls who have lived through it and are still living through it need to be there for each other. We needto support each other. It will be hard when my partner and I do eventually start a family knowing that the children we raise would have had an older sibling... how would I tell my future children that? Do I tell them? God bless sweetie.. we all have our reasons and regrets but I know if I kept my baby it would live in hell as I was 18 losing my job, living in two placs and had no education
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Well.I am 35...I have 3 kids...my son is going to College in Sept. and my Daughters are 9 and 10...and I just found out I am pregnant. I dont know what to do...I dont want and havent wanted anymore children...not only because of financial reason...but beacuse of selfish reasons...my kids are almost grown...they are self sufficient (in away) my son babysits for me...but at the same time...I have a baby inside of me. I have thought about abortion...and my husbands says he supports me in whatever I decide. I am so confused. please help me make up my mind. I am currently 6-7 weeks...and I know I have to make a decission SOON!
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I'm 18 years old I had an abortion when I was 17 I was about to go to college. It was hard for me I always said I didn't want kids but after I found out I wanted to keep my child. My mother told me I wasn't read emotionally & the father of my baby didn't know. I got an abortion when I was about 3 to 4weeks It wasn't bad until the days after I cried until I started school. I could never forgive myself for it I feel empty & so guilty. I just told my bf of about eight months and he act as isn't it was nothing. I keep crying because I know part of me is missing & in about two to three weeks is/was suppose to be my due date. The guilt has gotten heavier since April Started I've been 20 times more depressed than I was before. Reality has really set in even more & it is kicking my ass. I could never forget that day I felt different. I ask for forgiveness every single night since I gotten it & I just pray that god forgives me. My bestfriend had on before & she act as if it isn't anything I can't keep walking around w| this burden guilt & emptyness killing me idk what to do. Its making me feel as if I should not live for what I have done. I stuck even more being that my "due date " is apporaching. I think this whole month I'm going to cry & cry even more in august & september. ): I need some advice please someone
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I know exactly how you feel I wanted to keep mine I delayed the abortion to 5 months hoping my partner would change his mind but he wudnt its bin over a year but I'm still finding it hard to cope he won't mention the baby at all n it was a baby boy
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I am 20 yrs old.... I feel the way you feel... I became pregnant by my boyfriend of three yrs... All I remember is him telling me I can't want to have a baby by you.... When I finally began pregnant I thought he would be happy... He was for that first day but when he told his parents he changed his mindset... Everyday him or his parents were pushing toward an abortion.... I cried everyday because how all of the sudden you wanted this baby but now you don't... I tried to change his mind but it didn't work... Then I decide that I was going to leave him and raise the baby on my own but then I thought I didn't want my child to be raise with a father like I was.... But he seem as though he would never have love for this baby like I would so I decide to get an abortion and never talk to him again... I regret everyday giving up my baby because it was apart of me.... I wish he would have been a man and never got his parents involved... Because I would not be so depress right now
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I feel the same way. The only differnce is that I am 37 and married with 6 children. I had to give up twins because it would be putting an ecomic strain on my family. I feel your pain and I just want mine to go away.
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I had my procedure done in December, and I am having an extremely hard time coping. I am an athlete and rarely got my period, I was very abnormal. I didnt know I was pregnant until five months into my pregnancy. I showed no signs, no morning sickness, no weight gain, nothing. I was working out one morning and it hurt really bad to lay on my stomach. I figured it was nothing and let it go. Eventually, my stomach started to swell a little bit and I took a pregnancy test. I went to the doctor and they told me how far along I was. I was petrified. I went in the next day and they dilated my cervix and gave me a shot to stop the heartbeat, and they sent me home. when I arrived the next day the doctor said he was going to do an ultrasound to see if the shot worked. I told him it did and he asked me how I knew, I told him that I couldn't feel my child moving anymore. He sent me back to the room with three other women and we waited. I was the last person to go and I could hardly walk back. I couldnt get myself onto the table my legs were shaking so bad. When I finally got up, it looked like I was convulcing. they gave me a shot and told me I wouldnt remember anything. But I remember all of it. I was so ashamed of myself. when I went home that night I couldnt go to sleep without dreaming of it. I figured it would stop, but it hasnt. I still get them, regularly, and I regret what I did.
I was due in April, and now every time I see a new born I get jealous and start to hate myself, and I dont know what to do about it. My boyfriend says that he is here if I need to talk, but he will never understand what I went through.
I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. The relationship I had with my boyfriend has changed and he was the only person I had. I dont have anyone to turn to.
I was due in April, and now every time I see a new born I get jealous and start to hate myself, and I dont know what to do about it. My boyfriend says that he is here if I need to talk, but he will never understand what I went through.
I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. The relationship I had with my boyfriend has changed and he was the only person I had. I dont have anyone to turn to.
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my boyfriend sed his mums ill and hes got too many family issues to deal with, i even had a name for him, adam was what i chose i even hav it up on my bb status i hate him for it we are not together now but we still talk n go out but he doesnt talk about it, i hurt everyday i hav a scan picture in my fone of my baby n stare at it all the time he wud hav been one years old in july, my due date was 28th july 2011 n whats worse is my best friend had her baby boy on my due date a life for a life i guess im reali upset and sometimes find it so hard to cope thats for you..follow your heart
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"Putting other people's feelings and desires first" I know that feeling. I am 20 and had an abortion last december when I noticed that I was 5 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend is a lecturer and I m a student at the same university so what happened exactly is that he has a 3 year old son and he is facing some challenges with that and yet again I m a born again christian and my sister is a paster's wife. I really ddnt want to embarass my sister and my mother because at my community people are waiting for me to get pregnant...now it was his job, my career, my family everything was so messed up and he wanted us to terminate the pregnancy and I honestly wanted to keep my baby! I feel bad because I killed my very first child, my first child. sometimes I wonder y ddnt he decide to kill his first son y mine? even this today I still cry and I really want a baby! As for my boyfriend we are still together and he was so supportive through everything.
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Everything that you posted here is exactly how I feel. Words can not express my loss. If I write everything I feel down here, I'll just burst into tears. They told me it was only a ball of cells as well. It mean't more to me than that. The potential to be a baby. I want my baby back as well. I loved it too and and for the rest of my life regret my decision. I think about it every day and will never forget it. I wish I never listened to my partner, and wish that I was strong enough to carry it on. He just didn't seem to care and now has left me. It's the worst thing I have ever done and I constantly weep for what it may have been. It feels 100,000 times worse when you have all ready been a mother, as you know what it is like to carry and give birth to a baby.
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i had an abortion and i wish i never had i cry every day and wish i could go back in time. i feel like there is no point anymore and i can't see anything positive to look forward to. i know i had reasons for doing it but they just dont seem as important now. i dont know what to do. i hate my life and myself.
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I'm glad I came across this page and feel relieved that there are people out there who feel the same. I had an abortion 2 years ago and I think about it every single day yet my partner doesn't think twice about it. The only person who knew was my boyfriend of 8 months and his exact words were 'it's not like it's a baby yet'. He couldn't Take me to the clinic because he Didn't want to wreck his reliability at work and he didn't pay a cent. After the abortion he never asked about it and carried on life as it was. I cried for the first week and then stopped for a few months, then after that it's only gotten worse, everything i do and everywhere I go I can't stop thinking about how much I regret it and I'd give anything bring it back. The main reason I feel guilty is because I physically, financially, and mentally could of coped. But I didn't. And I feel guilty because there's so many people out there who can't have kids of their own. I don't even have a good reason to why I did it and I think that hurts the most. I work at a daycare centre and constantly look at the children whisper that I'm sorry under my breath because I really am so so so so sorry that I did it. We now have a neice who i love so so much, but shes just another little remider of what i could of had. There's only 3 people who know about it b 2 of them think I'm completely fine with it. My partner now understands a little more how hard it is for me but he doesn't know that I cry almost everyday in the shower and every time he goes out I go to the room and just sit and think. I just wanted to share my story on here because I will never tell anyone the full extent of it. Counseling hasn't worked for me and All I really want to feel is that it's okay to miss something that was never there and forgive myself so I can move on because it's holding me back so much. Just getting this out has lifted a little weight off for today. I'm sorry I know I haven't helped you but I hope you see that your not alone.
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Nice that your partner were with you)))) I am serious.. This is very important.. My partner or beloved partner just “ran away” after he knows the “news”…. I am here totally alone and have to overcome this ….I am 31… and this was the hardest decision I have ever made…For now I took the first pill, that will reduce the hormone progesterone and stop the growth of the embryo...... tomorrow night I will take 4 other pills that will bring to artificial abortion.....
I am not a religious person, but am I am really feeling shitty
I am not a religious person, but am I am really feeling shitty
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My situation is really different. I'm 24 years old, I've got pregnant of my ex-boyfriend who always have wanted to have kids... when we split out, I didn't know I was pregnant, I found out this past week, and I couldn't handle it, I knew I couldn't keep it, because I'm not okey, my life is a mess, I am a mess, I'm living on my own, my parents supports me but my dad is sick, I have a nice work (with my ex - btw) but I can never save money or anything... I decided to have an abortion, I told my ex boyfriend and he said I should have it, he really pissed off and called me mean and cold, that he would keep in charge of the kid, I just needed to have it, but I didn't wanted to. I did the abortion this weekend, and now I feel really bad, I don't know if I made the rightest decision and I feel guilty and awful, and I don't know what to do... I thought I was sure about it, but I don't know anymore.
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