finding it hard to cope after an abortion

I can somewhat relate to you and understand fully how you feel! reading your story touched me so much..i just had an abortion on the 16th of this month and its was the hardest thing ever i have been with my partner for 3years and i got pregnant expectantly and feel in love with my child so quick, but at 12 weeks my partner kept pushing me to abort the baby saying hes not ready and if i keep it im making him do something he doesn't want to do and that he doesn't feel im ready to be a mom and financially we can not afford a baby because he didnt want to except the help from family like i was he wanted to do it all by our self knowing we couldnt so i ending up going through with it. It was the hardest thing then and still is every night i go to bed thinking what if i kept my baby? would i have had a boy or girl?who would the baby look like mommy or daddy? will I be punished for not going with my gut feelings and caring for someone elses feelings? i just dont know who to turn to i feel like no one around me would understand since they never went through it and my partner isnt a good help either he tells me stop crying its ridiculous theses no need its over and done with we dont need a kid right now and so on...

did you do it?

i don't know if anyone reads this anymore. But I just need to get this off my chest as i have no one else i can talk to. I had my abortion 1 week ago after finding out i was pregnant at 6 weeks, i aborted 1 week later. i have not been with my bf very long and it was an accidental pregnancy and after talking we both decided that neither of us are ready! and i still believe that i am not ready for a baby. but the feelings i have now... one day there was life inside of me, that i had created, and the next it was gone in a 10 minute procedure.. the awful flash backs of being at the clinic.. i didn't realise it at the time, but i felt that life inside of me and now i can feel its absence. i feel as though i have lost something and i can't figure out what it is, maybe because i never planned for this to happen and know that i am in NO position to look after a child. it doesn't stop the sadness that comes over me. the dreams that i've been having when i manage to get to sleep. its a strange feeling this feeling of loss, as i feel as though i havnt lost anything, but have lost everything at the same time. not knowing how to feel makes it so difficult to overcome these strong emotions.

i had an abortion just over 2yrs ago now and it all suddenly hit me yesterday and i cant stop crying! about 6 months before i found out my mum had jus passed away! and another 6 months before that i had miscarried so i had stayed numb ever since and never really delt with it but it was the same situation with my partner threatening to leave and every1 else saying i wouldnt cope! i was feeling soo alone and still greifing, i didnt have a job at the time which didnt help so i felt backed into a corner! and i tried to talk to my partner yesterday and he just seems to ignore it wen im needing support! its a really hard road and i really regret it! so im glad to have seen this forum to knw that im not alone! but at the same there is no real help for people in this poaition! i was just sent home after!

Reading your story I can't help but sit here and tear up. Today makes exactly a week that I had my abortion. Like you, im 23 and my partner and I have only been together for about 3 months. I knew something was off when I started feeling sick every morning and my period was beyond late. I kept saying to myself, maybe I'll get my period tomorrow, maybe tomorrow. Well tomorrow turned out to be 7 weeks pregnant. I knew I had to make a decision not only for myself but for my boyfriend an our futures. See, he has a lot going on. His mother is very sick and he has a sister that he needs to look after. I'm still a student working a c**p job and not making much money at all. How can I raise a child? How could I live with myself for not being able to provide my baby with everything it needed or wanted? Besides being a huge disappointment to my parents how would I tell them? With every feeling and emotion running through my brain I sat down with my boyfriend and we made a decision. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page about everything. I didn't want him to feel like I took something from him or that he was cheated out of something. With both of us in agreement, I made an appt for two days later. When they did the sonogram and I saw that little bean my mind was in more of a scramble than ever before. I knew I had made the right decision and there was no turning back. I told the bean I loved it and that i was sorry and that's all I remember. I woke up, got dressed and left. Just like that I wasn't pregnant. I felt filthy. I felt empty. I felt alone. As much as my friends were there to support us in our decision, they'll never know the ache of an abortion that will forever be part of us. I cry a lot. I feel so bad about myself sometimes. I can put up a front and say I'm ok, but I have my moments where that front disappears and I can't help but feel. Feel the sting of all the what ifs. Taking it day by day is the only way that gets me by. That's my advice to you. Know that you aren't alone and that everything happens for a reason. Stay positive and stay strong.

Im surprised to see this still going! Anyways, Im 21, Ive been with my fiance for about 4yrs now and now I feel like I have no where to turn and I feel so alone and lost... I got an abortion maybe about, 2 years ago, it was right after I had my son (who is now 3) this was before he turned 1 and I couldnt deal with the thought of taking care of 2 babies and my family being mad at me for getting pregnant again so soon. So, my fiance and I had considered abortion, feeling there was no other way of dealing with the situation, having barely being able to afford the expenses of one baby. I can remember sitting in the waiting room alone, because babies werent allowed, seeing a few other women/girls in the room one of which who looked younger than I was, was with her boyfriend.. when it was my turn, I was so nervous and thinking of turning around and not going through with it, but I knew we wouldnt be able to handle another baby. After going through with the procedure, I remember waking up and asking for my son, idk why.. but I just felt so empty afterwards, emotionless, didnt know what to feel, other than that I wished I hadnt done what I just did. After so long, I dont feel like I have the right to go on anymore, I feel worthless, I cant tell anyone in my family otherwise Id probably be hated. My fiance and I, along with one other friend of mine know I got this done and I feel like I have no where to turn.. I still hurt so much to this day, sometimes I think God will NEVER forgive me and it hurts even more. I just spent like an hour crying my eyes out thinking about it and reading some of your stories and how I feel the exact same way. Im glad to know Im not the only one with these feelings and thoughts. I too wish I hadnt done what I did, but I feel like, in a way, it will make me more prepared and appreciative of my next pregnancy.

To correct any confusion on my last post, about 2 1/2yrs ago, it was just a few months before my son turned 1 like, 4mos. Before and I was I think 12weeks pregnant... read it over and it sounded off to me, sorry.

im twenty and i have two kids my son is alittle over two and my daughter is ten months i just found out iwas pregnant on mothers day i dnt know what to do my bodies not ready for another pregnancy i just had to babies bak to bak. we dnt have much money and me and my husband already have a hard time with two children i cant believe how stupid i am for getting pregnant i have not yet had the abortion n imalready crying everyday im so sad because i know i need to have one i just cant bring myself to do it 

I recently had an abortion 2 weeks ago. I was 7 and half weeks pregnant when I got the scan. And 8 and a half when I had the abortion. As soon as I seen the baby on the screen I knew what I was doing was completely wrong. I didn't want to go thru with it at all but I recently lost my job and knew it wasn't the best time. Lying there on the bed when the nurse was showing you the baby was the most heartbreaking but most loveable time of my whole entire life I just wanted to to tell her that I regret ever thinking about aborting our baby and that this feeling of becoming a mother and the feeling you get knowing its growing inside you every single day was the best feeling in the world. Everyday until the appointment for the abortion was killing me. I cried everyday and every night. Luckily I have a supportive boyfriend who took care of me while going through with it all. The day of the abortion I cried all morning until I got to the hospital. I didn't want to speak to anyone. No one understood what I was going through that day the thoughts that were going through my head. When I got to the ward the woman told me to go to my room when I got in they told me to put a gown on and just lie in bed. As I did that the moment I got in bed I just knew it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to put my clothes back on and run. Tears were streaming I was crying hysterically on the bed waiting for the woman. All that was going through my head was "I want this baby" " I want to love this baby and do everything I can to protect it " after the procedure the drugs kicked in I was pretty much out of it, i didnt think it was right that i was killing our baby and thats all that went thru my head for 6 hours in hospital. i didnt want to talk to anyone but my other half. but nothing will haunt me more than that day. No one will understand what I went through mentally. 2 weeks on I am still trying to be strong but not a moment goes by where I don't think about my Baba. I will love you forever darling and one day I will meet you soon. I will always think about you everyday.

I am currently 10 weeks pregnant I have a 2 year old son and so far since my son was born life has had many downs for me. My boyfriend of 9 months is the father but is currently incarcerated. I fear that i am making the biggest mistake of my life but i am no where near financially stabled to have another child i pray that god will forgive me.

I had an abortion two weeks ago and I feel exactly the same way you do. I wish it was getting easier but I feel as though its getting harder and harder. I never thought would have to give up a baby at 25, but my boyfriend of 4 months didn't want it. I should have never listened to him and raised it myself, my biggest regret. Men should never have a say in this decision as my boyfriend would not even shed a tear and I haven't stopped since I found out.

Hi I can feel what you are going through. I am only 17 I have no money and my parents are trying to make me get an abortion because they just want a good future for me. Your story hit me hard because I will be going to the clinic tomorrow to be getting this done. I don't know if I can do this though. My boyfriend said he wants me to get this done but when he felt my belly he started crying. I just don't know if I can go through with this.

I totally understand what your going through I found out my baby has a very rare disorder its called pentalogy of centrell my baby would suffer if I even go full term I have no choice but to terminate its the toughest decision in my life I go in for my procedure in 2 weeks im so scared

I send you all the love in the world.
I wish I could hold you right now.

Breathe darln.
Breathe, just hold on, everything is going to be okay.
Xxxxxxoooo