That bipolar response is so typical. I never really put so many actions together at once. The lashing out at my friends because they didn't agree with one of her ideals, just being confrontational in general. She was getting help with medication (anti-seizure for the bipolar and schizophrenia) and therapy once a week, so I just tended to treat her like someone who was "fixed." The hardest part is that she left me in a situation where, the day after she told me she loved me more than anyone in her life and were joining incomes to move in together, after breaking my lease and taking her in to save up for a down-payment. She left me the next day, which was 3 weeks ago. For nothing else than dropping her phone accidentally and breaking her screen. I said I'd buy her a new phone, but it seemed like a catalyst somehow for her to move out the next day. She still talked at first, but she seemed to get more and more distant saying she needed space, which I gave. It started with "I'm sorry I haven't seen you, that's unfair" to "please don't be there when I get my things (space)" then " I found a new place, but it's big enough for us both" finally "I can't be with someone so disrespectful as you." In the span of a week. There was nothing I could say or do that would change her mind. Now, come 14 days later, yesterday in fact, she eloped with someone neither I or her family has never met. Her brother is angry with her and sympathetic with me. Her parents don't know what to think, and I imagine don't want to lose her so went to her wedding celebration today. It's just so surreal. She wanted nothing else but to marry me, at first. ASAP. I suggested a healthier rout where we get to know each other first for at least 9 months to a year before making that commitment. Now here I am. Every family member and friend I know empathetic, even hers, but nothing to show for it.
this sounds like an extremely unhealthy relationship, especially if you have to be on medication just to put up with her. DUMP HER~
I am bipolar and have been ever since I can remember. I am 30 years old, have five children and have been happily married for five years. I was just diagnosed this with in the last year. My husband use to say that I was just trying to get attention or he would always say that everything was all in my head and I just needed to change my way of thinking..... easier said than done! finally, last year I had a nervous breakdown and had to be takin to the psych ward. I stayed there for a week and got put on my meds. I continued to go to therapy after I left the hospital, for me, group therapy is better than one on one because I knew then that I was not the only person with this issue. a lot of people with bipolar disorder just like depression feel so alone like they are the only one when they are one of millions. If you truly care and love the person make sure they know that by your actions as well as your words. My husband has realized that this issue is something that I can't just wave a wand and make it go away. We have since moved to a house with a lot more room for my children to play and that helps a great deal. I love my children with all my heart but being a stay at home mom 24/7 to five children ages 13 to 3 is a tough job especially with bipolar disorder. Just be true with yourself and your partner and listen to your heart. Help your partner to help themselves because they can't be the best for you if they can't even be the best for themselves. Once you learn to accept and treat this issue life is so much better for everyone involved !
I am married to a man that is bipolar. As much as I love him, until you live with it, you can not understand what it will eventually do to YOU. I don't mean to sound negative, but RUN and do not look back! I'm very serious. They cannot help having this disease...but I'm telling you, it's from hell & it will take you down with it & not care.
You have something to show for it....your sanity!! I am sorry that you're hear broken and I truly do understand that. I am married to my high school sweetheart, first love...that kind of thing. Long story short....he drank, did drugs (now we know probably self-medicating all those years) and I did not want that and he did not want to settle down. 29 years later, he was ready, our paths crossed again and we waited until he had been sober a year before marrying. Well...bipolar reared it's ugly head a year later. Little did we know, this is common after a year of sobriety for this to show up. Please take it from me...you dodged a bullet! Be thankful and move one. You were very smart to wait, otherwise, YOU would be her victim. I feel sorry for the man she married. It's a disease and they can't help having it obiviously. But look up the stats on divorce when one if bipoar; there's a reason for that high rate. Take care.
As I have been obsessing over several response sites about bipolar boyfriends the past week (in anguish and desperation), I have been very encouraged by the stories I read - so similar to mine. I reconnected with a childhood friend about 5 years ago. We grew up on the same street and rode the school bus together since age 11. High school buddies, but not sweethearts. After several reunions, he asked me out for coffee, at which time I was glad to have a friend because I had just served my husband divorce papers after 17 years of a verbally abusive, emotionally empty relationship. My "new" friend was my rock. He was so supportive and reminded me constantly of the "light at the end of the (divorce) tunnel." He soon revealed that his marriage was virtually over - after 22 years with a volatile fighter, who criticized and even hit him on a regular basis. Long story short, we fell deeply in love. For 2 years, we leaned on each other - he became my best friend and while there were issues at times, we worked through them. He told me he was diagnosed as bipolar 5 years prior, but that he believed the diagnosis was mistaken because the psych just had him fill out a question answer sheet. He believed his ex wife needed someone to pin the blame on for their crazy life, and this diagnosis gave the family the "reason" they needed. During his marriage he had an affair for 2 years - lived with her in US and in Europe before feeling guilty about his 2 kids and moving back home. He revealed his diagnosis to me after about 7 months, and I also took it with a grain of salt. After all, he was amazing and attentive. Wanted to marry me, his soulmate, foot massages anytime, gifts occasionally, fun weekends, very attractive, charming, my family loved him... at first.
I knew he took medication for anxiety (Buspar) (also diagnosed with anxiety disorder) but I did not know he took "performance enhancing" drugs for erectile disfunction. He needed those to counteract the bipolar meds he was taking, which he said he took "occasionally." Trouble is, the e.d. drugs made him snore badly all night. (He told me about the e.d. drugs after 15 months of our relationship). Then when I needed to move to another room because I had to work and was getting no sleep, he made me out to be the bad guy by announcing that he is going home. Then, riding a motorcycle, he would leave loudly and not text me for 2 days. Then there were the promises he would make and not follow through on. "I will take care of your yard." "I will take your daughter to softball this summer." "I want to go places in the RV every weekend" (we went twice in 2 years). "I will buy you a bike" - we even went to the bike store and he switched, "You are going to pay half aren't you?" He was jealous of my 17-year-old son and regularly criticized him to me - bizarre things like storm out when I was making dinner for my son and his friends. In fact, he became good at storming out when he didn't get his way, or get enough attention. Looking back I see lots of hypomania. Trouble is, that often translated to me that he was passionate, yes impulsive, but not boring, wrote me long love-letter texts, always reminding me that someday he would marry me and live the rest of his life with his soulmate.
As a single mom of 3 (11,14 and 17) I was busy but had time to go out with my bf whenever we wanted. Although I was in grad school and worked also so my bf never felt he was getting enough time - although I saw him 3 nights during the week and the whole weekend. We went to church together, bike rides, eating out, movies, sometimes with my kids, sometimes his (older) kids.
I noticed after a trip to Europe, he slipped into what I thought was an anxiety attack because his meds were lost. He was a completely different person. Irate, blaming me, accusing me of trying to miss our plane, biting his hand - (I now know that is a form of self-mutilation). He gave me the silent treatment the whole 24 hour plane trip home, involving 3 connecting flights. Looking back, I see lots of manic behavior. Upon returning, he went home and didn't text me for 3 days. I texted him and he finally agreed to talk. Turns out he bought a car the day after returning. He pushed to move in with me and I finally relented. Again, he adjusted his meds (changing over from Lemictal and Buspar to Gabapentin, but starting with a low dose that wouldn't really be effective for weeks.) Our first week living together was great. Week two, he started to freak out, blaming me for his feelings of fear and inadequacy. Anger 24/7, silent treatment every other night, with intermittent "talk" (blaming) sessions when he would angrily tell me all the ways I was falling short of his expectations and how I just wanted him here for his money. He instigated a fight with my teenage daughter because she wanted to spend 30 minutes of alone time with me in "our" room - telling her to shut up. Never unpacked his boxes, stayed in our room all the time watching TV, wouldn't eat dinner with us at the table. He was totally egotistical telling me he was basically God's gift to any single mom and I was "lucky." Mind you, I get enough financial support from my kids' dad to run my house. My panic walls went up and after three weeks I told him to move out in order to "reboot" and try to save our relationship. I didn't want to break up. The man I trusted and was my best friend had disappeared!
Sadly, then it left a huge hole in my heart. He didn't talk to me, and after a week (I thought we were just both taking time), he unfriended me on facebook and when I called, he wouldn't answer. I was heart broken. Eventually, I started receiving vindictive, mean texts about how I hope I remember what I did to him, and I chose not to fight for him or beg him not to leave. I am now on Wellbutrin, Celexa, Elavil (to help sleep) and occasionally Xanex to deal with my pain. I have lost 10 pounds in a month and have been rushed to urgent care by my son when I fainted in the kitchen: diagnosis - panic attack, depression, sinus infection (probably from crying) and anemia. I have lost sleep, and thought I was having a heart attack when my left arm was numb for hours and my chest hurt. My kids are worried and I am not functioning at work. This relationship has brought me to the brink of insanity. It is the definition of toxic. I have met him a couple of times, seeking closure, but he is more interested in playing games or saying or doing things to hurt me. Push/pull back, etc.
My now-unmedicated manic ex bf bought a house the week after he moved ($40,000 down) three blocks from his ex-wife (his youngest daughter moves to college in 3 months) and then a $25,000 Harley Davidson motorcycle. In one month, he spent his entire life savings. Meanwhile, I lose all sanity because despite my head telling me "let it be over" my heart is screaming "do anything to get him back." I am fighting it, and through lots of prayer and tons of support from my family, I will come out of this. Please, if you are reading this and you are with a bp man, run away as fast as you can. It is an addiction and it will ruin your sanity. Look at me...now I have a mood disorder that needs medication. Seriously, do not even consider a lifetime of this. It is 10 times worse than my divorce was. The pain of having someone you love deeply (they are very manipulative and know exactly what to say to make you melt with romantic hopes and dreams), suddenly crash their ugly anger without provocation, and abandon you with such vengance is so shocking that my nervous system has broken down.
This is a girlfriend. Next question, do you go out of your way to purchase broken or damaged goods. RUN, do not walk away. These people will drag your entire life down the toilet & blame you. It only gets worse. You have one life to live, do not waste it. What ever codependent streak in your own character must be addressed too. But get away from the twisted woman. 90% of marriages to these women fail. The remaining 10% are a living death. Find a girl that is not broken.
Wow. Do you hear yourself? I read your post and it seriously sounds just like what I am going through with my gf. Why should we stay when there are so many other "Normal" people in the world who won't treat us like c**p. I am there with you dude. I love my gf so much too but after last night I am thinking I need to move on. We were just getting ready to move in together. I don't know about you but love just isn't enough. I cannot see myself going through this every month with her. We have been best friends first for about 8 months and she didn't act out then. It wasn't until we became lovers that she now lets her bipolar act out. I say 'lets' because she can control it around everyone else but me. The mean things she has said to me can never be taken back. I can't do this anymore. She is the best looking I have ever gone out with but she isn't even good looking to me anymore. The uglies inside have made her ugly outside.
Hmmm. I have been in a married to a bi-polar male now for over 25 years. NO DO NOT TAKE THIS AS A REASON TO HOPE. It has been and remains a living hell. No idea why I have stuck around. I must have my own issues. It has consumed me and my life. It does not sound nice; but if you are still young--GET OUT NOW!
I strted going with my B-P girlfrined about 18 months ago. Dueing that time she has left me anywhere from a couple days up to 1 1/2 months. This happens bout every 6 weeks and the longest period we stayed together has been just over 2 months. It usually starts the same way - with her wanting to visit with her brother. On the way there she is always as nice and loving as usual but almost immediately after I drop her off and head home she seems to changes completely. It takes me about an hour to get home and more likely that not I will find that she has either gotten into or has tried to get into my savings or checking. Wised up this last time a couple weeks back and changed passwords as soon as I got home and I guess she was to busy to try to get in but she tried that evening anyway. During previous episodes I was not quick enough and she was able to get a substantial amount and pretty much emptied my account. (Never again will she have the passwords!!)
She always unfriends me on Facebook as well as others and always says that someone had hacked her account. She uses her cell a lot and can not understand that the signal might go through a server anywhere. She always changes her addresses on everything only to have to change them back when she returns home.
When is is talking to everyone except me she has said that I got angry in the kitchen and she thought I was losing my mind. I have no recollection of anything except I think I spilled somethig and yelled at the situation. In the past she has told other she is frightened of me and she knows that there is no way I could every hurt hr intentionall either physicaally or emotionally. But in hr mind that is what the influence of this B-P tells her. I know she has been in at least 2 abusive marriages and I am pretty sure she was molested as a child too.
When she wants to visit her brother she rarely takes more that a couple changes of clothing and her makeup but it is always the same way. She still has lots of stuff here.Within a few days to a few weeks she calls and want me to pick her up and I always do. I love this girl and I know she loves me too. She just does not know how to show love due to past abuses. She is on meds and I had been making sure she took them every morning. Her nightime meds sometimes did not get taken because she would fall asleep very early (430pm to 730pm but when she was still awake at 730 she took them )but it was on a 50mg version of her moring stuff. She has been going to councelling on a regular basis but now she does not even call to cancel her standing appointment. I am now waiting patiently again and have turned to God and takj to him every day as I have been doing for a long time. I know that he will take care of the situation and will send her home when he finishes doing whatevr He is doing with her.
Thanks for letting me rant
I too am in love with someone who is bipolar. My boyfriend is not actually diagnosed with bipolar disorder but he has all the symptoms of the disorder. I've have been with him, off and on for 3 years now. He has broken up with me 4 times and I'm always in fear of him doing it again. I love this man so much and yet somedays I find myself questioning my sanity and reasoning for staying with him. He gets these crazy ideas in his head and he's constantly accusing me of cheating on him, or having sex with someone else while we were broken up. Not only did I not have sex with anyone while we were broken up but I never even had the erge to do so. I was so depressed about losing him and also I am a full-time worker and student, so I have a lot on my plate as it is. The latest thing now is he thinks that I think his penis isn't big enough, that I have had bigger which in in turn makes him not want to have sex with me. This is crazy because I love our sexual encounters. Everything he does I love, but he seems to think I don't enjoy him. This is leaving me drained and depressed. No matter what I say or do nothing helps or makes him feel better about the situation. No matter how much I reasure him that he's the only one that I've ever been with and want to be with. I feel useless and confused as to what to do about it. I've tried giving him his space, waiting on him to come around but he just don't seem to be getting any better. We just got a new place too, one where his kids can play and have there own room and everyone loves it. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, and watch his kids grow up and be a part of there lives. I just want him to be happy, and at peace with himself and me. I am just stressed, depressed and confused. What should I do?
hi my name is christina i'm bi just so ya all know i am so frustrated with this girl i swear she is bi polar first things were great we were like best friends then slowly she would back off she uses anger to hide her emotions she gets jealous when i talk to anyone else she has high's and lows one minute we love eachother the next she wants nothin' to do with me she stays up at all hours of the night. can go for 2 days straight without any sleep. whenever things get emotional she runs away she won't talk to me leave's for days then comes back and pretends nothin' happened. she is angry with anyone else just me ya know if she is bi polar i can understand that nobody's perfect but i love her but sometimes it's aggrivatin' wheneva i get mad at her for sayin' hurtful things to me she won't even say sorry i love this girl just frustrated i guess
my partner has bipolar and weve always got on never argued and always been happy till recently hes been on no meds since november 2012 which i only found out recently ,, i love this man with all my heart but hes just deciced to walk away from me for no real reason said he finds it a struugle to cope , says he loves with with all his heart just he cant see light at end of tunnel ,, his new hobbie is staying in pub altime and maybe cos i mentioned this he just turned said he needed time to think ,, i just dunno if this is his illness talking or him ???? never seen him like this before
I just wanted to thank you for all your help and efforts with my situation with Chris. He broke up with me few weeks ago then i found
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and asked for help. I told him to cast a Love Spell on our behalf and I have to tell you that I am very pleased with the final outcome! I'm happy to say, we are back together again after a few short weeks apart! I was so miserable without him in my life. You have made me so happy! I am ordering a Binding Love Spell right now to make sure we don't split up again! Thank you for all your hard work and attention to my serious problem!
My girlfreind.. has bipolar disease.... I've known her for around a month now... When i met her... She was very kind.. And very pleasant to be around... But as time carries on.. I began seeing different trends in the way she acted... From the beginning she thought most if not all "men" were liars.. From the simple fact that... We are male.... I've done everything i can to convince her otherwise.. That i'm not like a great majority of men... That do indeed infact cheat...For those guys out there that dont i believe you can sympathize with what i'm saying... It's hard to convince a hurt woman you are legitimate... And that you really do love her with all your heart and you would do anything for her... She doesn't trust me... even know.. Consistently tells me that... She's will always love me no matter what.. And she'd never leave me.. Well a few days ago... I was told that i was smothering her... Did i smother her? Nope...But i gave her more space.. Which meant i literally didn't talk to her for the whole day.. Her "cousin" came down.. And they were gonna hang out. This was during the whole period in which i was giving her space... So i didn't talk to her much. It was 4:30 am on a thursday morning.. In which i had school.. So sleep for me came difficult that night... Prior to this stuff.. She specifically told me she didn't drink.. She hated it.. Well.. In light of this she called me smashed... AND posted pictures of her being drunk... Needless to say it pissed me off. I didn't say anything seeing as i love her more than life itself... And deeply care about her. And i'm constantly worried that she is going to leave me...I would do anything for her. But it's like every f*****g time i turn around.. She doesn't believe me.. She hates me about something... She thinks that i'm lying to her... And when i try to convince her that i'm not she tells me that she's going to be mad f*****g forever... Look... Idk what to do.. I'm a very strong and firm hearted person.. But even this.. I starting to make me doubt..That she actually loves me.. Anyone have any suggestions?