There is nothing wrong with any of you. I had the same problem frequently, and then I dated women. Women have different needs in a sexual relationship and understand the inconsistencies better because they go through them themselves, and they aren't going to expect the same level or kind of sex every single day.
HOWEVER, I am not telling you all you need to be gay. Now I am with a guy. Being on the other side of the coin was a very interesting and valuable experience though, and it taught me the emotional importance of sex for women. I think also because of women's frequent hormonal changes, they just won't naturally need or think about sex as often. But when a man, like your boyfriend or significant other, is sitting there wanting it so bad, you start to wonder if there is something wrong with you.
Sometimes you want it rough, and sometimes you want it gentle, right? Sometimes the idea of a man thrusting his giant penis into you very aggressively is just about the last thing you want, and even might feel annoying. (this is where sex with women came in for me, because there is no expectation that they need to do that!)
Men don't have cycles, so biologically, every time is a good time for them to reproduce. This drive is what they need to repopulate their species. Every time is NOT a good time for women to reproduce. Sometimes we just don't crave it- don't need it. This is where emotional need comes in. If you aren't completely emotionally happy or feel protected, you won't see any point in sex at that time. At least, not the initial impetus. Of course, when someone is touching you you will probably change your mind, but you might not feel that great about it still, and it isn't going to feel as good.
I really don't think women should feel guilty or want to take a pill so that they want to have sex more- this is just like the woman to blame herself when the guy is upset. Instead, men need to focus on romance and the other elements that make sex important for a woman. Sometimes she is just down to f**k, and other times she just won't be.
i thought i was the only one who felt this way, idk, i've been with my girlfriend for a while, and she went on a two week trip to europe, and got back and for three days the sex was great. but since then i haven't had the drive or desire to have sex again. and to be completely honest, i never really liked sex that much. I do enjoy making love, but it's much more intimate and happens every so often. but this is the problem, i view sex as a connection-less chore, something that if you're having it, you're having it for fun become it holds no emotional value, whereas making love is when two people connect during sex and it doesn't matter how hard or how fast you're going, you just enjoy it and feel amazing. I love that. but i have to feel it. my problem is that my girlfriend thinks that there is two different connections, one for making love and one for sex, and that i used to be able to have sex and feel that connection and now it's lost. and i want to argue that nothing is lost, because i never felt a connection during sex nor the desire to have it, but would however put up with it for her. but lately, putting up with it has been hard and it's just discouraging. and it doesn't help that she's depressed about it. and i just don't know what to say to her cause last time i said i have sex for her to be pleasured and not because i get pleasure from it myself and want to, she got all sad, so i took it back. but for atleast 50% of the time, thats the case. and now i just don't feel like having any, and her being upset about it while i have no desire to have it is just making my whole outlook on sex worse. and I love this girl, i don't think i'd ever be able to be with another woman in my life. but i'm just so worried that i stay like this and never regain the occasional desires i would have to have sex, or even the capability to put up with it for my girlfriend's sake. Because if it does stay like this, I'm worried that eventually she won't be able to take it. She says no matter what, she'd never leave because she loves me without sex, but the fact that every two days or so we argue about it makes it harder and harder for me to believe it, like yes she loved me before we had sex but if after we've had it she can't go back to life without it, it just makes me feel sick about it and like closing my open mind about it and saying no, this is what sex does to people so i'll live without it. It just makes me so mad that something so unimportant and trivial to me can cause so much stress and worry in my life.
hey it's really nice to here that i'm not the only one who has this issue. I'm a 21 year old girl and i sadly think sex is not for me i keep wondering if i was suppose to be a NUN lol it's painful idk if he's too long or i have a short vagina but it hurts i lied a lot about having orgasms and he found out one day and that killed his self confidence i feel really bad...but i couldn't lie any more so now not only do i have this vagina issue now his confidence is messed up so this is a messy situation.. in the beginning i felt like i enjoyed it to some degree he is the first and only person i had sex with so far. we have been together for 4 years and a few years back he cheated on me we were able to move past it and move on with our lives but i think i lost my sexual interest in him sense then....what do you think????P.S. he's not a virgin.
I'm a 27 year old attractive female. I recently lost my virginity a month ago to my bf. I really like him. Intercourse as well as oral sex is not enjoyable to me. Sex is mildly painful and not at all enjoyable. I like the idea of it, I have orgasm from breast and clitoral stimulation. Is it just me? Please help!
Well I like everyone thought it was just me feeling this way. My husband is very unhappy with me at the moment because I don't want him to touch me. I don't know I just feel like he doesn't understand me. When we do end up having sex its because I finally give in to make him happy and to stop the fighting. I feel like a sex slave to him because it seems that's all he ever wants. It makes me sad and it makes me mad at him. I feel like he's willing to just help himself without worrying about me. Its really upseting and depressing to feel this way, but if I tell him he gets offended and tells me to go look for someone who is more romantic or whatever. I don't know I just really wish I could stop seeing it as another wife "dutie".
i have the same problem, i have never been interested in sex, i don't know why just the thought of it makes me cringe.
I'm 23, female, and I've been with three women but only one man. I know I'm physically attracted to both genders and when I was younger and new to sex, I was able to enjoy it more (though I never experienced an orgasm unless I was masturbating). I'm engaged now to the one man I've slept with, and we've already been together for 5 years. My fiance and I are very confident in our decision to get married even though we are both aware of my problems finding stimulation in sex, due to our connection emotionally, mentally and even physically despite the problems we encounter when being intimate with one another. I do feel guilty because I think my aversion to having sex has decreased his libido, though he insists he doesn't mind or blame me for it. I wish things were different and will probably continue reading up on this problem. It's a relief to know that there are so many other women and even men that face the same problems I do, though, and it reassures me that it isn't just a strange problem of mine.
I don't know if I enjoy sex or not ! Been married 46 years and only had sex once, that was my first last and only, being my first wasn't comfortable and from then till today no sex. I found out my husband hated sex and all that goes with sex and marriage. So in his 20's decided he can live without sex. He told me he wasn't interested in being married but was willing that we should be just friends. In my confusion I blew up and called him every kuss word I could think ok. He said if I was going to act bitchy he was moving to the basement and all his stuff followed, volenteered for the midnight shift so he wouldnt be home at night. Also worked all holidays, never saw him at Christmas etc and gave up all his vacation time. And I know for a fact he's not gay or into porn, I've spent lots of money having him followed, he has nothing going. He has no friends, phone, TV, radio, computer and he hasn't read a book since high school hates books. Were in our mid 60s and we don't care any more, we live in two different worlds.
I believe it's something tramatic that's happened in the past.I am the same way
Point taken and a good one at that.