I am 28 years old, good shapped, pretty and my husband is 39 i dont know what t is happening but he rather play poker online, go play sports, hang out lounging on a chair and sleep. When is time for me to want sex, he is sleeping or is happier with just oral.
The past three time we have actually come to intercouse, he comes after like 3 strokes! i'm serioulsly deppressed and frustrated. I cried last night when he came while I gave him oral. Is a horrible feeling to cry yourself to sleep because u feel undesired, unremarkable and unwanted.
I getting nightmares that are ridiculous, Im tense and uncomfortable with him in bed. Is very ironic to me that this is happening now. i have been with this man since i was 20 years old.
if this would have happened four years ago, i would have terrorize him for it and flat out told him if he cant do it someone else would. But im much older now and i guess more in tune with myself.
is just unfair and i feel like im drowning in my own despair.
You are only 28, I can't imagine looking forward to a life of such unsatisfactory sex. It's not just your duty to satisfy him, it's his duty to satisfy you also.
I have had no problem with that in the 45 years I've been married because I get my satisfaction from satisfying her. When I was young I also would come within a stroke or two sometimes. It seemed as though my penis was so glad to be getting into his happy place that he just couldn't contain himself. That may be the reason why he stays away from having sex with you. He's so ashamed when it happens and he feels like he can't satisfy you.
I looked at it as a problem I needed to solve. What I did was start off by giving her oral until I came, and I WOULD come without anyone touching my penis, just by satisfying her orally or through masturbation. Then when I was able to get another erection I could enter her and we would have some wonderful intercourse.
He's certainly very fortunate to have you to give him oral and satisfy him. You deserve as much in return. My wife would never give me oral. In fact she wouldn't give a hand job or even touch me. So I was in charge of whatever was going to happen in our sex life.
I hope you can make it work for you.
im 23 and he's 24 we've been married for about 8 months now and we have a 5 month old daughter. We rarely have sex. 95% of time he's asking for HEAD and he knows i dont like doing it but i know it pleases him and when i refuse to give him head he "jokingly" says to me "you never want to please me" and the only thing going through my head is "you never touch me, you never want to have sex with me, you dont give me oral and io never say anything at all what the hell!!!"and i hate the feeling of being used and neglected alot of posts on here are right its a 2 way street in the bed room and my road has a road closed sign for some reason and the last 2 times we had sex i didnt "get off" he came too quickly because he was "too excited" thats he told me and the last time was on valentines day....i didnt even get a orgasam on freakin valentines day along with anything else for that matter and every night its "can you give me head" and " hey, ive got a boner want to suck on it?" That really makes me feel ultra special to be talked to like that and as i was reading the other posts a few above my own there was a word that a guy used that made me cry.....intimacy.... i dont have any of that not in my marriage..... he says he loves me i know he does but i dont feel any intimacy in our sex life and when i talk to him about it he says he doesnt know how....i see other people with this intimacy thing going on and i find myself jealous and on the verge of tears because of it. im not sure what to do anymore and to put salt on a wound he asks me if we can have a 3 some!!!! and he doesnt understand why i get upset and end up shouting at him it makes me fell worthless and like im a mistake i just dont know what to do anymore :'( but its good to know that im not alone
He's gotten spoiled by getting intense sexual stimulation from you, and not having to supply anything in return.
You have only yourself to blame for letting this become routine. Ok, maybe not just yourself, but both of you are at fault.
So now, in a non-sexual setting, maybe a dinner out, you have the romantic talk with him about how you have been rolling over and giving him too much too fast, and that it's time to even the score a bit. From now on, the lady comes first. That means, if he wants oral sex, the day or two before, he's going to please you. That may mean oral sex for you, or intercourse, or maybe just massage, or some cuddling.... but it's going to start happening now.
You may have to put your foot down once or twice before he gets that this is real and non-negotiable. If you cave or give in, you're just teaching him that he doesn't have to listen to your needs or wants.
If you like, you can make a "honey do" jar. Make notes to him like "Nibble on my neck" or "massage until I'm satisfied" and have him draw one out of the honey do jar when he feels like getting you in the sack or getting it on. You can modify the circumstances to make it more fun for him, but you can't give in on your demand/complaint.
In addition to this, you might also get a book or two about couples and intimacy, and leave them laying around. Better yet, get a copy of "She Comes First" and leave that on his night stand. He might just get the hint.
The breaking up part was not too difficult because I didn’t have too much time invested in the relationship. I can only speak for myself when I say it would have been self-destructive to stay in it…counseling was not an option I wanted to explore, since I believe there were underlying issues related to this behavior and could possibly take years to resolve. This was a deal breaker for me because of the impact I experienced, my self-esteem, the physical and emotional frustration resulting from my loved one not caring enough for me to make sure I felt HIS love.
So you should always make sure you you get yours first, then do him. Unless you just want to do him for fun.
That is NOT true!... I'm almost 42 and I just got through giving my wife (age 44) oral a few days ago without getting it in return. I wanted to do this because I detected she needed it. When she gets cranky, then it's time for her "medicine". Sometimes I think she just pretends to be cranky so she can have her medicine, but that's okay because I like playing games. Plus, giving her pleasure gives me a mental pleasure.
Any other time we normally play it "even-steven", but I always give her oral first. You could think of it as a "ladies first" type of mentality, but it's really because I fall asleep after I get mine, which would be rude to her, therefore she has to get hers first. She likes it slow and I don't mind doing that. When she bursts I have to make sure I get it all out of her system by continuing a very much slower oral massage technique until she calms down and relaxes (oh, she really loves that part). It zaps-out her energy and makes her legs feel like weak jelly. I do it with a loving passion, because I love her most dearly than anything on this planet. - After she rests a bit and regains motor control of her legs, she returns the oral favor to me with the same amount of loving passion I gave her. Same amount of teasing, same variable speeds, equal treats thrown in... SHE ROCKS!
And yes... we prefer oral sex most of the time, because it's the most fun and pleasurable to us.
It's also a 2-way street with marriage and everything must have a sense of balance, or else you'll have a traffic jam and end up thinking about a divorce. You MUST desire to please each other in any special way you can find, because your love for each other is what keeps your union strong and happy. Anything less than that is nothing but garbage without a real purpose... That's how I see it... Give it your ALL, or step aside and FALL.
Well, I suppose this thread has ended long ago, but I just found it. What I want to say is that all of the women empathizing with this should search the web to find all the men blogging on forums about how their wives don't have sex with them anymore. How their wives don't initiate it anymore. How they "reward" them with perfunctory sympathy handjobs etc. etc.
Why is there so much confusion over such a simple issue????????????????
There is a obvious fact you ladies are forgetting. BOYS GUYS AND MEN ALL LOVE ORAL ! there's no conspiracy theory going on just because your boyfriend or husband whats oral sex. there is something very exciting and arousing over a women wanting to go down on you to please you while you stand or lay there in dominance. Sure its not the more pleasurable for the women, but lets face it. Men need stimulation prior to sex, we cant just jump into it. FRANKLY PUT, its not as simple as having a hole ( sorry) but that's the truth. BELIEVE ME if we could control it like a light switch, then we wouldn't be here talking about this right now.
So in conclusion! You want some real answers from a Real GUY? don't be afraid to go out of your way to give a little pleasure without getting anything back from time to time. As i promise you, your boyfriend or husband will think about how sexy and obedient you are in that area. and that ITSELF is a stimulus, leading to great sex !
ENJOY THE FREE AND HONEST TRUTH
MENS TRUTH